
Author's Note:
I've put a text version in the comments!
Also here are some questions for reviewers if you'd like to answer them:
1) How fun or not-fun is this poem to read aloud?
2) Who do you think is the speaker/narrator of the poem? What do you think of them?
3) What do you think are the themes of this poem?
4) Are there parts which are hard to understand or connect with the rest of the piece?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Text version:
The azure sky,
Spoiler
the desert sand,
the crunch of bone,
a broken throne.
The underground trickle,
the watery mouth,
the open sea,
the southern lee.
My roots run far,
but grip like claws
and rip the earth
with verdant mirth.
At Earth's deep core
a prince was gored;
the seed was sown,
the flower, grown.
A curse once whispered
became a rumble,
a persistent, trembling
subterranean ending.
The seer's prediction,
the great premonition,
the old king's fear,
disaster nears.
The castles crumble
on hungry rulers
now deposed,
the petals closed.
An acid ocean
melts the stone;
my great pink jaws
devour laws.
The whole wide world
becomes as one,
united and true
bubble and stew.
Hai!! catsz here dropping by and leaving a review! Let's dive straight into it!
First, I just want to point out the questions at the bottom are SO sO helpful. Thank YOU SO MUCH.
Now for the poem! I love the rhyming for the last two lines, and the first two lines flow smooth even without rhyming. So well thought out and talented. The plant must be so strong that their roots are clinging to the earth, everlasting, like nothing will ever stop it. The vocabulary choice and the details really form such an image in my mind.
Now for the questions.
1. This poem is so catchy and fun to read out loud. The rhythem is consistent and smooth, and I can't help doing it a couple times xD
2. The narrator of the poem is the mighty plant, obviously! I think of them as a venus flytrap for some reason, and they are mighty strong in the animal and plant kingdom.
3. The themes... hmm... It feels futuristic, like when plants take over the world kind of vibe xD
4. NOPE. It is all very clear, even if some parts are hinted, I get it really easily.
Overall, this deserves soooo much attention, and I can't wait for more!
Happy Reviewing and Happy Writing!
~catsz
Thanks for the review! Yes, the venus flytrap was very much part of my inspiration for the plant (that, and the pitcher plant). c:
Hai!! catsz here dropping by and leaving a review! Let's dive straight into it!
First, I just want to point out the questions at the bottom are SO sO helpful. Thank YOU SO MUCH.
Now for the poem! I love the rhyming for the last two lines, and the first two lines flow smooth even without rhyming. So well thought out and talented. The plant must be so strong that their roots are clinging to the earth, everlasting, like nothing will ever stop it. The vocabulary choice and the details really form such an image in my mind.
Now for the questions.
1. This poem is so catchy and fun to read out loud. The rhythem is consistent and smooth, and I can't help doing it a couple times xD
2. The narrator of the poem is the mighty plant, obviously! I think of them as a venus flytrap for some reason, and they are mighty strong in the animal and plant kingdom.
3. The themes... hmm... It feels futuristic, like when plants take over the world kind of vibe xD
4. NOPE. It is all very clear, even if some parts are hinted, I get it really easily.
Overall, this deserves soooo much attention, and I can't wait for more!
Happy Reviewing and Happy Writing!
~catsz
I really enjoyed it and loved and it really good!
Hello Writer I am going write my review of this poem you wrote.
When I read this poem, my first thoughts were that we are pulled to imagery. I can also see a pattern. It took me a moment to figure out what the pattern was, and I had to research it. It was a pattern of juxtaposition. If I did my research correctly, it is done intentionally and in a beautiful way. I will use the first few lines as an example.
“The azure sky,
the desert sand,
the crunch of bone,
a broken throne.”
In these lines, we can see that the first two lines are peaceful, in contrast to the last two lines, which are violent. I can say, in other words, that this shows beauty and destruction in the most unique way. I can imagine it as something fragile, yet beautiful in its own way. Not just with these lines, but throughout the poem, we can see that the writer does not stay in one image but constantly changes. In an obvious way, yet it still catches the reader’s eye. We can’t help but be intrigued by the words.
I just love the poem in every aspect I think you do a wonderful job in this poem and thank you for sharing this poem with me. I loved reading it as it was unique and special.
Thanks for the review! I hadn't realised I was juxtapositioning the more peaceful imagery with the destruction, so that is cool to know c:
Read it aloud, and it was fun!
I read it aloud in my mind, if that makes sense, and it was fun. I'll do it for real sometime today too, promise! (I'll share about my result in a regular comment. I can't do it right now because I'm not in a suitable place.)
I think the speaker is a fused being of the plant and the prince. (It appears to me that through eating him, the plant fused with him.)
By the way, I love the narrator. World-wrecking plants are amazing, and it's interesting how this one appears to have the protection of prophecy (it's been predicted, nothing can be done about it).
In a way, I think the plant kinda redeems the world. War and famine are ended in the oblivion of its jaws, and all becomes one and the same. There is no unfairness anymore, as all ends in the plant. The corrupt rulers are gone.
And there's anarchy here, of course. Rulers dead, their corpses dwindling. The broken throne.
(Sorry. I'm bad at themes.)
I don't think there are parts which are hard to understand (well, everyone will probably understand it in a different way, like how I did it this way. I believe I have some understanding, but I might not at all, so I can't judge about that.), and that it all clicks together like puzzle pieces. Well-made puzzle pieces.
Hope my review was of any use, even though it was a bit clunky!
Thanks so much for the review! I liked reading your interpretations - it's always really helpful to see how people make sense of poems c: