The world and all its time are etched in patterns, fine and deep
and optimists love to recall a flowing tapestry,
but what I see is more a quilt where simple hues repeat:
where squares ensnare our knowledge in our broken memory.
Quite often people say that the most sought-out lovers keep
the vestiges of details that they may deploy in verse;
if so is true, our hearts must be as passionless as sleep –
forgetful strings just doomed to ravel under heaven’s curse.
And though a needle strikes the cloth in one explosive leap,
and just as quickly can recoil, more quickly than a sneeze,
the stencil is still circular and seldom strings can seep,
this world’s a woollen blanket, and we, just a passing breeze.
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140,079 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Beautiful poem. It had an epic feel to it, and so I expected it to be longer. However, the fact that you were able to pull something like this off in three stanzas is impressive. I also love the use of punctuation. I think that's an element that often gets overlooked in poetry, so it's nice to see it being put to good use.
I liked the rhyme pattern, though it did seem a bit jarring to me at first, as I got used to it I decided it was perfect for the poem. It keeps things connected while also allowing for some variety. I also found the word choice interesting. You used words that were well-known, but still rare and unique, which was pretty incredible.
Right, there are my thoughts on your poem. Thank you so much for sharing!
-Art
And thank you for your review!
I love this poem!
It has great rhythm and symbolism.
I find myself wishing that it kept going forever, which is extremely difficult to find in writers especially in poems.
I love how it hints about all of us being woven in time. How all of our lives are short, and on it's own meaningless, but when all "stitched" together, can truly become something great!
Keep up the great work!
Thank you for the review!
Hi there!
This is a really good poem! You kept the rhythm steady and consistent. I love the depth, and for me, this poem is a type of allegory. My favorite part is the ending:
"And though a needle strikes the cloth in one explosive leap,
and just as quickly can recoil, more quickly than a sneeze,
the stencil is still circular and seldom strings can seep,
this world’s a woollen blanket, and we, just a passing breeze. "
This isn't much, so I'm sorry about that!
Keep up the good work!
Thanks for your comments!