The world is a space that connects us all,
intertwining our fates like fragile threads.
Everytime we rushed past each other,
the impact violently tore away our wings,
its consequences splattered on our faces.
.
Like a vast mirror, the sky reflects ourselves
and everything that we have now.
Tears flowing endlessly, hatred staining our lands -
is this all what we want?
.
Let us hitch a dream to the stars
and set our engines for an unknown future.
Even if the gates to a brighter tomorrow remain shut,
we will reach out towards unliminality.
For only if we can ignite the brilliance in today,
humanity will feel the pride of being alive.
.
For only if we can invoke the love in everyone,
the pride of a new dawn will bloom endlessly.
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Lil_Pau, before I begin I am going to be extremely honest with you: your avatar was distracting me from the poem. Lil_Pau said: "The world is a space that connects us all,intertwining our fates like fragile threads". This was my favorite part of the poem. A good beginning gives for high exectations for the rest of the poem, and the only thing better than that is meeting those expectations.
I would just like to say that I love the images
" If we can ignite the brilliance in today"
and "Let us hitch a dream to the stars"
fantastic!!
the only thing I could possibly criticise is perhaps that the harsh words "violence" and splattered" do not fit these elevated images... I understand you may be trying to create contrast between what we have and what we want to have, but pehaps more piercing and effective words might replace "splattered"? it just seems a little... juvenile.
Sorry to criticise I really didnt want to because as I said I loved those images and for me that is what makes it!