Young Writers Society

hi there i be dropping a review on your work

so we going to get started here

First this was actually pretty good to be a poem and also i love the way you got these words lined up i im going to show First Love I Miss YOU What We Never Did these were the words i was talking about and then you said what you said under that thats what i was saying and also i have a nice line through your work you say I'm your first love

Then when did you learn to kiss

A night under the stars

Something I know I'll won't forget

You haven't read since you met me

It's almost like

This life is better than fantasy

As long as you're mine this was actually my favorite line on what i read


My Compliment is how y'all everyone know what they know what to write cause last time i check people just write what they feel or there thoughts

how you can improve is you do pretty good slow motion poems like you made a love poem so thats what i im really saying about it right now


Keep writing have a nice day ~jay~

Hi there, so i will be reviewing What We Never Did for you~

A picnic under the stars in the desert.

Climbing through the caves in St Anthony

Did it scare you, how fast we moved?

I was all yours within the week.

Hey there, and happy RevMo! Plume here, with a review!

Since there are a couple poems on here, I figured I'd just review half! I did read them all though, and they were all really great!

First Love

I enjoyed this poem! I think you captured the feeling of having a crush really well. And I say crush, but it's really something more, and you were definitely able to capture that. I loved how you incorporated some of the more serious aspects of a close relationship too, with all the trauma confessions and sharing. I felt I could especially relate to that part, and I appreciate how you didn't shy away from talking about those kinds of things. All in all, it was a delightful poem to read!

There were a couple things I noticed, though; I wondered about your rhyme scheme. There were some places where it seemed to rhyme/almost rhyme, but it wasn't consistent throughout the whole poem. I feel like to really develop and sell that rhyme, it needs to have a scheme to it. That also segues into my next point: I think you could benefit from having stanzas in it as well. I know YWS doesn't always like blank space in poems, so if you had stanzas in the original draft and copy/pasted it here, I get that, but if not, I'd really recommend putting them in. They can also aid you in building a more consistent rhyme scheme.

I Miss You

This one was also quite the touching poem. Though your structure was somewhat unconventional, I actually think it did a great job of building a really nice flow within the poem. Starting off with those short lines all one to two syllables long and alternating it with the rest of the sentence formed a phenomenal cadence. I did think that the first part and the second part of the poem were a bit disjointed, though. You built up a really nice flow and then abandoned it for an entirely different one. I would have liked to see it possibly carried throughout, just to keep the cadence up. With poem structures, it can be really easy to create a really killer last line, too. I do think the last line you have now is phenomenal, but I do wonder if you could rephrase it to make the overall poem more cohesive.

Overall Specifics

Something I know I'll won't forget