“And no, others cannot see it either, intentionally or not,” Virre added. He smiled. “This is your second and final test.”
Her heart sank. She had been looking forward to see the ruby—to witness its beauty. The rumour, although this one was less credible than the others regarding the it, described the its beauty as flame from heaven. She didn’t know exactly how heaven looked like except it would be picturesque and all, a beauty beyond human’s comprehension, but the idea of its flame was fascinating. Was it true? She wanted the question answered, but it seemed that was impossible currently.
No, she thought, realizing something. I might not be able to observe the ruby, but I can ask Virre. The time for silence was over. “Virre, is it true Ruby of Revenge’s beauty can be described as heaven’s flame?” She cleared her throat. “I mean, the stone and the description seem contradictory—how can revenge have anything to do with heaven? And how exactly a flame can be beautiful, and even be compared by a ruby? Perhaps they both have similar colour...”
He was hesitant to answer, but she didn’t harm the condition. He took a deep breath. “Alright, I’ll let only this one question passes. Yes, heaven’s flame can be made as a description for the ruby’s beauty, although it is partially accurate.”
“In what sense?” she prodded. It couldn’t hurt.
“In a sense you can’t know now,” he said, making a frown. He pushed the satchel to her. “ Rumors come from every angle; not all of them are from the same perspective. Your time here has reached an end. You have to go to where you’re from.”
She looked at the satchel. “If I can’t look at it...,” she looked up at him, “how am I going to use it? It doesn’t make any sense.”
He smiled. “You’ll see. Remember, power doesn’t necessarily associate with violence, just as love doesn’t associate with lust.”
I’ve yet to know what lust means, she thought, but kept it—and his words—to herself. He seemed wise. He did say something about waiting for half a century; he must be older than he looked, and this boy was a form he put as disguise. She wasn’t sure, but that didn’t matter right now. She got the ruby. She could make things right with it. She couldn’t wait to go home.
Virre turned his attention to Regalia, who remained silent, as if it didn’t want to interrupt what was happening in front of it. From the gleam in its eyes, Destiny suspected it even enjoyed watching it. “Regalia, send her back, please,” Virre said, waving at her dismissively.
“Do you like staying here alone?” she said, and mentally knocked her head.
Virre raised his eyebrows. “I’m not living here alone. Regalia’s with me.” His eyes gleamed. “And maybe I’d move out soon.”
*
Destiny was on Regalia’s back, eyes observing the magnificence of the forest while hands savoring the fluffiness of Regalia’s fur. The gray satchel strapped at her back. It was funny how back at Virre’s house, anticipation and fear of what to come mixed together, and now, all she felt was calming waves, the aftermath of getting the ruby. It had been quiet since their journey back to where she started, and her mind drifted somewhere else.
Perhaps it was because she was thinking about the children waiting for her at the orphanage. It wasn’t her who came out with the idea of seeking the ruby. It was one of the children, John, who talked to all of them—excluding Mrs Elaine and Mr Sadeas, of course—about it. She herself wondered about the ruby, but never about it being the solution of their problem. John proposed the idea one night when they were all about to go to sleep. They slept in one room, the girls and the boys separated by a curtain between it.
“I heard the ruby is so powerful. Like magic powerful,” John said, his voice carried around the quietening room. Destiny heard him, and she knew the ten-years-old boy would never sleep until he finished voicing out his opinion.
“That’s just shit talk,” another boy said. His name was Harry and Mrs Elaine often scolded him for his choice of words, although the boys didn’t mind at all.
“Quiet! If Mr Sadeas hear that, he’ll come here and beat you both for interrupting his sleep,” Mary hissed. The girl slept next to Destiny’s bed at her right.
Harry snorted. “That’s bull poop. Mr Sadeas sleep like a dead man, that cow,” he said.
Apparently, John ignored him. “If we can get the stone, we can use it. To finally get rid of Mr Sadeas.” There was some shifting noise. “I hate him.”
The room was silent for a few seconds. No one argued about that. There was no need to.
At that time, Destiny couldn’t think of other way to end their problem. She thought the talk about the ruby was something a foolish person started after getting drunk. It would be too convenient that to solve their problem, they only needed to use magic. Life wasn’t like that. It was hard, it was unfair, and there would be no easy way to get through it without getting scratch or hurt. You just had to toughen yourself and embrace the misfortunes that would befall to you.
Just when Destiny thought the conversation end there, a tiny, girlish sound went her way. “Destiny, can you get the stone? You can use magic to beat bad Mr Sadeas.” It was Ginger, a seven-years-old girl sleeping at the left side of Destiny’s bed.
Destiny adored Ginger, sympathized with her. That girl lost her parents one night due to robbers breaking into their home. Her father foolishly fought them, thinking they were just petty thieves before they stabbed him with a machete he thought was just something to scare his family. Ginger saw the horrendous scene unfolded. She was frozen, but tears kept pouring out of her eyes, and it was only when her mother told her to run when she started to act. Not to run, but to go to her mother to seek comfort, hoping her mother would banish the nightmarish image she had seen.
Her mother pushed her harshly, urging her with a bellow that was more menacing than a banshee’s for her to stay away. They went for her, not wanting to lose the opportunity to sell a girl, before her mother charged at them with a pitiful kitchen knife in her hand. She didn’t know what happened afterwards except that when she was running, she heard a piercing scream akin to that of a tortured soul in hell. She didn’t dare to look back, and stumbled onto Mrs Elaine and Destiny. That was how she got into the orphanage.
Destiny wiped her tear, emerging from the recalling of the past. She still couldn’t shake away the image of Ginger with tears wetting her face, crying for hours and calling for her mother and father repeatedly, each call felt like a hand shredding Destiny’s heart. A fool she might be, but if the ruby could stop Ginger from crying again and brought a smile to the girl’s face, Destiny would risk her life to get it.
And here she was. Having witnessed the magic used as twists of the event, she had no doubt with the ruby, she could banish the man that might as well reminded Ginger to the robbers.
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Canary word: Present
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Well, didn't I just take my sweet time with this. My sincerest apologies! I've been busier than planned, and have heaps of owed reviews. Hopefully I'll be useful enough here to make up for my lateness
Anywho, I enjoyed this on the whole, and it's a massive thumbs up to you for exploring Destiny's life back home a lot more than you have in previous parts. It was great to hear more about the other children at the orphanage, and to just generally explore their characters and Destiny's motivation to find the ruby. It's nice to see things progress from the search now that Destiny has the ruby too, and assuming this isn't the final part, I'm intrigued to find out how the kids will react, if Destiny will be able to help them all now she's got the stone e.t.c. So yeah... On the whole, you've got another solid part of the story here!
As for critiques, while I love the flashback for the emotional value it adds (as well as the fact that we're finally getting some background info on Destiny and her life at the orphanage!), it does feel like a little bit of an info-dump. Honestly, I think the sole reason for this is because all of the background, orphanage stuff hasn't really been mentioned once since the start of this story. As such, to have so much of it appear in here kind of feels like you've just forgotten to in previous parts, and so have thrown it all in now to get it out of the way. Err, does that make sense? I just think you should spread this information out more, basically. As you go through each part, just add in some mentions of Destiny's past, her life at the orphanage, her motivation to get the ruby e.t.c. Sprinkle it around the whole story, as opposed to in one big chunk.
The other issue I have is that I'm, well, a little confused. What was the second test? Is it the fact that Destiny mustn't look at it? Why exactly? And what would happen if she did? Perhaps this is the OCD in me, but it also seems a bit odd that there would be 2 tests, as opposed to 3 (or more). This ruby is kind of a big deal, and for it to be obtained so easily... I don't know, I wanted a bit more. I would just like a bit more clarity on this whole second test thing, and it would maybe be cool for you to explore more tests, even just one more. I suppose there is still time for you to throw a surprise one in, assuming this isn't the last part, so I won't ramble on too much. Even if you kept it at two tests, but made them a little more... tricky? Saving a wolf/dog and not looking in a bag is different and original, but rather tame. I mean, they're not that hard to do. This is a bit of a personal taste thing, but hey, I think you could consider it anywho!
That's it, methinks. Critiques aside, this was an overall great addition to your story, and you dealt with the emotions surrounding Ginger wonderfully. It made me feel for Destiny a lot more than I have in the past, and makes me understand her motivation for doing this. It makes me root for her, y'know? I hope this isn't the last part of the story because I'd love to see how Desitny manages with the stone, and to properly meet the kids at the orphanage. Anywho, apologies again for getting to this so damn late, I'm an awful person, I know. If you've got any questions regarding this review, please do let me know, as I'm aware that I can often make little sense. Oh, and be sure to let me know if/when you want anything else reviewed!
Keep writing,
xoxo S(k)ins
Oh, of course there'd be a twist. You'd see soon.
Thanks for the review! 
Oh, yipee!! Good
Hey, Lightsong!
Apologies for jumping into the middle of a story, but hopefully a fresh perspective can give you some things to think about. First of all, I much preferred the flash back in the second part of this section because it felt like a real scene with real relationships. I believe that murderers exist and also workers at orphanages exist, and that those workers might feel pity for the orphans and want to do something to help them. I'm not familiar with the start of this story to know just how dangerous the journey for this gem was, but I'm not sure I would believe the worker going on a dangerous journey for a magic gem for the orphans, though. There has to be some more explanation or reason that I missed from the first parts, or you'll need more reasoning in the future if you want me to believe what Destiny is doing.
That said, the first scene in this part of the story is very hard to get into. I don't have a physical sense of who's speaking (though I'm sure I would have if I had read the previous parts), but also I'm told "this is the second test", and then no test happens. Is simply carrying the gem without looking at it a test? If so, how is she supposed to use it? What kind of power did she see earlier, I wonder, that "twists of the events"? I'm intrigued, but I think I'd need just a bit more realism and character development in this chapter to get me hooked into the story here.
Let me know if you have any questions or comments about this review.
Thanks for sharing,
Hannah
Hey there, Lightsong. I saw that this short story's been in the green room for a while now, and since you've said that you wouldn't mind if I review it, I thought I'd give it a second chance at life. Let's see what we can do here, shall we?
Seeing, not see.
Remove 'the'.
I think this sentence would be better phrased as "And how exactly can a flame be beautiful, even compared to a ruby?"
I don't like how you say making a frown. It sounds weird. "Frowning" would do much better, and is short, as well.
I think this would be better phrased as: "Power isn't necessarily associated with violence, just as love isn't associated with lust."
I'll, not I'd.
Sleeps, not sleep.
I think you ought to delete the text in bold, or at the very least replace it with "with him".
Add an 'any' where the ??? are.
You'll want a 'would' where the ??? are.
Now, let's go to the more substantial part of this review.
I wanted to talk specifically about how you presented the story with Ginger and why Destiny's going out here in the first place. I mean, I think I would prefer if you mentioned it in the beginning, since this is such a specific story, but I get where you're coming from. You don't want to spoil the story from the very beginning, I get it. But you see, with this as a motivation, the readers now want Destiny to achieve her goals. Before, we had no idea why we were rooting for her. So I think what I'm saying here is that you should consider mentioning the story with Ginger from the beginning, or at least hint at it a bit more than you already do.
Anyway, great job. Can't wait for the next installment.
Signing out,
--EM.
Thanks for the review! Does this mean I can tag you for the next installment? @u@
Oh yes, of course.