Author's Note: This is just a fun story I thought I'd post. Half of this is real, and it actually happened to me. And half of this is fake. Enjoy!
I'm sitting on my parents' bed reading a fictional book called: Tuesday in the Castle. Papa is on his chair studying on his wooden study table making a PowerPoint presentation for work. Papa turns his chair so he faces me. I didn't notice until he said:
"Dear, what are you reading?"
"Tuesday in the Castle by Jessica Day George." I reply. Saying the authors name with the title of the book is a habit of mine.
"What's it about?" he asks, even though he knows what's coming.
"It's about five people who live in a magical castle that adds new rooms every Tuesday," I say as he nods along. "But then, an evil wizard-" he stops me at "wizard".
"You know, when I was your age I-" he starts.
"-would read many non-fictional books." I finish for him. This sentence has been repeated by him every single time I read a fictional book.
"Have you ever tried to read any educational or non-fictional books?" he questions me.
"PAPA!! Mama made juice!!" my little sister bursts into the room and hands both of us a cup of red juice.
"What's in it?" I ask.
"Apple, carrots and some weird looking red fruits." my sister replies smoothly. I cringe at the sound of carrots and 'some weird looking red fruits', every thing else was fine, though.
Papa is already done with his juice. Woah! That was SUPER fast! Once my sister leaves the room, Papa asks me to remind him what we were talking about.
"You asked me if I ever tried to read educational or non-fictional books." I say.
"Have you?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because the last time I read them, I fell asleep on the first page."
"So that's good!" Papa exclaims.
I look at him, stunned. "How is that GOOD?"
"Since you don't sleep much, you could read a non-fictional book right there and then! That way, you'll have a longer sleep!" he says, proud of his prediction.
"You have a point." I mumble.
(I guess non-fiction wins!)
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
138,673 Literary Works • 672,209 Reviews
Hello Libby! Jade here to leave you a quick review. I loved this short little book, it had a good, unique hook to it. I love fiction, and I believe it is 100 times better. I loved this short story, it's simple, sweet, and has a nice little concept. There were a few grammatical errors, but everyone has pointed them out. I loved it!
This was a very interesting piece to read! If you ask me I would say non-fiction only because I like reading about things that is real but I do read some fiction books. "Saying the author's name with the title of the book is a habit of mine." I thought this line didn't really need to be added you could just say the name of the book and the author and just move on to the next line.
There were also a few commas that didn't need to be added that were there. And make sure that you keep the tense of the story the same throughout the story. Nice work and I am looking forward to reviewing more of your work.
Ahh this is a pretty old work so this made me giggle. But thanks for the review!
oh wow! I just looked at the date of it! Before I do reviews I don't look at the dates.
That's completely okay! Don't worry about it. =)
Hi!
This is a good story, very relatable. I read a variety of genres, but most of them fall under the category of fiction, so I totally agree.
Now for the review part:
I only have two nitpicks, but otherwise, the story is good.
The first bolded words should be one word: "everything," not "every thing." The other bolded word, "was," doesn't agree with the tense. You wrote the story in present tense, and "was" is past tense. I suggest changing it to "is."
Overall though, the story is really good. I still haven't figured out how to properly write short stories, mainly because I suck at planning it out, don't know when to stop, and have read too many chapter books (that are fiction
Anyways, just know that you don't have to take my suggestions and that I am really sorry if I offended you in any way.
- Mira
Thanks for the review, Mira! It all helped.
liberty500
Hi I am Ishan212 and I am here to review your work.
Well cool story ... fiction non fiction.
You ask me fiction wins, if inspired by reality.
Great Work!!!
Keep Writing!!!
Ishan212
Thanks!
Hey there, Liberty!
I saw you had this story sitting in the Green Room, so I thought I'd drop in and review. Let's get to it, then, shall we?
I hope you're doing well today, and I hope those Fairy Dairy entries are moving along smoothly.
Specifics
I find it awkward that she has to explain what she calls her father. It might read more smoothly if you simply had "Papa is in his chair studying..."
This statement puzzled me. The narrator sounds childish, in a way - a pre-teen, perhaps - so sticking this label of "work addict" on didn't sound quite right. Is she even old enough to legally have a job? Or does this type of work mean as in school and chores around the house?
Those last two exclamations threw me off a bit. For one, because it's the only instance in which we read about the narrator's thoughts. I like the fact we read her thoughts, but I think if you're going to have it in this instance, you should include it in others. On another note, the super is a bit intimidating... might be better to italicize it.
Me three years ago lolll
Not-So-Specific
The general idea behind this amuses me because it's something I've actually been thinking about recently. Not many young people read non-fiction, which I don't think is necessarily wrong, but I also don't think there's anything wrong with reading it! I've been reading a few non-fictional/educational books lately that I thoroughly enjoyed!
I'll admit I did find this story kind of amusing, though. My own father would definitely side with the argument of your father in here, seeing as he's always telling us we need to read more non-fiction. :p
You mentioned this is just a fun little story you wanted to post, which makes me unsure of how thorough of a review you wanted... but I'll say I did think you could make this more of a story, anyhow. This was a cute dialogue to follow but there wasn't that meat of a story in it. For example, why is she (or is this even a she? I don't see a gender mentioned...) reading on her parent's bed in the first place? Seems like an odd place to enjoy a novel. Why did the sister interrupt with the juice? That didn't seem significant, but it could be! Why did the mother even make juice? What time of day is it, anyway?
Maybe it would do well to mention how the narrator doesn't sleep often or has insomnia or something along those lines. That would make the ending more impactful and provide more of a storyline to follow.
Aaaand that's all I got for now! Have a good one, Liberty, and keep up the writing!
cheers!
~rosette <3
Hi there!
.
This is definitely a good story! I sorry, but this won't be much of a review. The two things I'm going to point out are just nitpicks, really. Feel free to ignore them! Okay, the first one is when you are talking about your dad at the desk. You say he is working on his desk. There is nothing wrong with that, it's just that in some cases, it could make the reader think he is literally "on" his desk. Like on top of it.
Second:
"Papa is already done his juice." All you need to do with this sentence is put in the word "with" between "done" and "his."
Also, I love Jessica day George! Have you read Princess of the midnight ball? I've read that one and Princess of the silver wood. They are really, really good! The first is my favorite though.
Thank you! I'm obsessed with Jessica's books!!!
I am dying to read more of them!! but our library is so small....
Your local or school library? If the school library then get one from the local library.
My town has one library that serves as a school library and local library.
Ooooh. I understand!
Haha, I really liked this, it seems like something my dad would say to me. Keep up the good work!
Thank you!