black irises

by Leya

Published October 27, 2024

In Eye Color Poetry Collection

PreviousNext

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Leya
Comment
Stickied · Leya commented Comment · Oct 27, 2024

Image Credit: Pinterest

Text Version:

b l a c k e y e s
have depths so vast that it feels like falling, over and over again,
they are the absence of light’s need to exist, complimentary to
a hue that holds silence as if it were substance.
they are a quiet fire that doesn’t flare or flicker,
but pulses,
something ancient and undying.

black eyes are not voids to be filled,
but entire worlds, folded inward, hidden, contemporary.
only those who look too long might catch a hint of their glow,
a faint spark that almost feels like a memory.

User avatar
sillyon Review
sillyon wrote a review Review · Oct 30, 2024

Truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly epic mode poggers style for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. This is truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly quite nice and cool and good for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. This is truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly a piece that I enjoyed and was worthwhile for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. Yes truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement I believe this and all that I have said here and now. (Other people use ChatGPT to cheat this word count thing (I have personally confirmed this) so at least you're getting words I actually typed myself...)

User avatar
sillyon Comment
sillyon commented Comment · Oct 30, 2024

Truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly epic mode poggers style for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. This is truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly quite nice and cool and good for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. This is truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly a piece that I enjoyed and was worthwhile for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. Yes truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement I believe this and all that I have said here and now. (Other people use ChatGPT to cheat this word count thing (I have personally confirmed this) so at least you're getting words I actually typed myself...)

User avatar
Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2024

Hello Ley! Just a couple of quick thoughts! ^^

they are the absence of light’s need to exist


I admit... the possessive apostrophe on light kind of threw me off and makes your meaning unclear. I think it might be better to reframe your sentence so that light doesn't have to be possessive.

The other comment that I have... is there any other word besides "black" that you can use to depict this eye color? Black eyes generally represent physical abuse and domestic violence. With that said, it honestly it makes me kind of uncomfortable to see "black eyes" admired... even though I know you're only talking about the iris, it still has connotations that are problematic. Maybe change this to dark eyes instead? (I know... that's more vague and possibly not good enough. *sighs*)

Anyway, hope this review helps! ^^ As always, if you have any questions, just ask and I'll try to respond! :)

Leya replied · Oct 28, 2024

Oops I did not know this >.> I shall change it

Leya replied · Oct 28, 2024

Oh wait I see what you mean. Uhhh maybe I can change the title to like %u201Cblack irises%u201D instead, but i can%u2019t change the pic bc i already started on the next poem for this collection and didn%u2019t save this one >.>

User avatar
avimoon
Review
avimoon wrote a review Review · Oct 27, 2024

Hello, there! Avi speaking :)
First, AHHHHH YAYYY YOU'RE ADDING MORE TO THE EYE POETRY COLLECTION :DDD
This poetry is pretty enough to be on Pinterest and printed out with the artwork you add to it, cuz holy smokes, it's incredible.
These particular poems of yours remind me of that song "Eyes Blue Like the Atlantic and I'm Going Down Like the Titanic " because they add imagery of how beautiful different eye colors are in certain lighting and stuff. It's so pretty, and it makes me feel like I'm being wrapped up in a nice, warm, fuzzy blanket.
A lot of authors/poets describe black eyes as voids, but I agree with your depiction of them as being worlds of their own.
Anyway, incredible writing as usual! <3



One is not born, but rather becomes a woman.
— Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex