Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Image Credit: Pinterest
Text Version:
b l a c k e y e s
have depths so vast that it feels like falling, over and over again,
they are the absence of light’s need to exist, complimentary to
a hue that holds silence as if it were substance.
they are a quiet fire that doesn’t flare or flicker,
but pulses,
something ancient and undying.
black eyes are not voids to be filled,
but entire worlds, folded inward, hidden, contemporary.
only those who look too long might catch a hint of their glow,
a faint spark that almost feels like a memory.
Truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly epic mode poggers style for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. This is truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly quite nice and cool and good for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. This is truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly a piece that I enjoyed and was worthwhile for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. Yes truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement I believe this and all that I have said here and now. (Other people use ChatGPT to cheat this word count thing (I have personally confirmed this) so at least you're getting words I actually typed myself...)
Truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly epic mode poggers style for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. This is truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly quite nice and cool and good for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. This is truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth significantly a piece that I enjoyed and was worthwhile for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement. Yes truly surely indeed actually without a doubt definitely indubitably verily forsooth for real on God no cap and maybe mayhaps perhaps perchance even so on and so forth if you will for the sake of the argument as a matter of fact in my oh so humble and honest personal opinion not going to lie confirmed truth and a verifiable statement I believe this and all that I have said here and now. (Other people use ChatGPT to cheat this word count thing (I have personally confirmed this) so at least you're getting words I actually typed myself...)
Hello Ley! Just a couple of quick thoughts! ^^
I admit... the possessive apostrophe on light kind of threw me off and makes your meaning unclear. I think it might be better to reframe your sentence so that light doesn't have to be possessive.
The other comment that I have... is there any other word besides "black" that you can use to depict this eye color? Black eyes generally represent physical abuse and domestic violence. With that said, it honestly it makes me kind of uncomfortable to see "black eyes" admired... even though I know you're only talking about the iris, it still has connotations that are problematic. Maybe change this to dark eyes instead? (I know... that's more vague and possibly not good enough. *sighs*)
Anyway, hope this review helps! ^^ As always, if you have any questions, just ask and I'll try to respond!
Oops I did not know this >.> I shall change it
Oh wait I see what you mean. Uhhh maybe I can change the title to like %u201Cblack irises%u201D instead, but i can%u2019t change the pic bc i already started on the next poem for this collection and didn%u2019t save this one >.>
Hello, there! Avi speaking
DD
First, AHHHHH YAYYY YOU'RE ADDING MORE TO THE EYE POETRY COLLECTION
This poetry is pretty enough to be on Pinterest and printed out with the artwork you add to it, cuz holy smokes, it's incredible.
These particular poems of yours remind me of that song "Eyes Blue Like the Atlantic and I'm Going Down Like the Titanic " because they add imagery of how beautiful different eye colors are in certain lighting and stuff. It's so pretty, and it makes me feel like I'm being wrapped up in a nice, warm, fuzzy blanket.
A lot of authors/poets describe black eyes as voids, but I agree with your depiction of them as being worlds of their own.
Anyway, incredible writing as usual! <3