Tear it to little bits and shreads. Bite my head off if you need to 'cause I want to improve
*edit: not sure...I tried moving some words around and just can't change it and keep it good.
An ethereal being
Haunting me in a dream.
Your presence used to cease my breath
My days with you were a silent death.
In your arms I was entombed
With a kiss you sealed my doom.
I went to you for protection
But only found my own destruction.
Your love was killing me slowly
Who would have guessed from a face so lovely?
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I thought it was really great! However, some of the rhyming was little off. I might suggest rearranging the order or wording so that the rhythm flows better. The concept was very realistic and well thought out. Great analogies. Keep up the good work!
Yo you! that's a nice poem! Well not "nice" it's a rather darkish/love/awesome (if possible) emotion.
Very nice. I like it and have no bad comments about it!
Great Job, and i hope to read some more wonderful poems by you!
Audrey718
this is good I enjoyed it well I enjoy any poet that people write