An Ethereal Being

by LadyPurple

Published November 4, 2011

In Songs and poems.

Tear it to little bits and shreads. Bite my head off if you need to 'cause I want to improve :P *edit: not sure...I tried moving some words around and just can't change it and keep it good.
An ethereal being
Haunting me in a dream.
Your presence used to cease my breath
My days with you were a silent death.
In your arms I was entombed
With a kiss you sealed my doom.
I went to you for protection
But only found my own destruction.
Your love was killing me slowly
Who would have guessed from a face so lovely?

Comments & reviews · 5
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Gg127
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Gg127 wrote a review Review · Nov 6, 2011

I thought it was really great! However, some of the rhyming was little off. I might suggest rearranging the order or wording so that the rhythm flows better. The concept was very realistic and well thought out. Great analogies. Keep up the good work!

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LadyPurple
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LadyPurple commented Comment · Nov 6, 2011

:) thanks, you people!

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TaylorTheGreat
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TaylorTheGreat commented Comment · Nov 6, 2011

Yo you! that's a nice poem! Well not "nice" it's a rather darkish/love/awesome (if possible) emotion.

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Audrey718
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Audrey718 commented Comment · Nov 4, 2011

Very nice. I like it and have no bad comments about it!
Great Job, and i hope to read some more wonderful poems by you!
Audrey718

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LoneWolf161
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LoneWolf161 commented Comment · Nov 4, 2011

this is good I enjoyed it well I enjoy any poet that people write



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