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141,441 Literary Works • 674,455 Reviews
First, avoid making the names of the main characters too similar! 'James' and 'Jamie' can get very confusing very quickly for the reader, although one does adapt soon enough. I'd suggest changing one of their names though.
I think what you need to work on mainly are your descriptions. Right now, you have a lot of dialogue but there's really nothing in between the dialogue. For the moment, it reads too much like a script, and that's fine except it just goes by too quickly. You need to allow time for the reader to dwell on a scene so as to build a mental picture of it.
Here are a couple of good articles that would be worthwhile to read over:
Description by kitty15
Writing good dialogue by beckiw