Published March 4, 2025
TW: Symbolism of death/references to blood
𝘐 𝑠𝒉𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝 𝑢𝑛𝑓𝑎𝑠𝒉𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒, 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑔𝒉𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒,
𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝒉𝑎𝑖𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑠,
𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑛𝑎𝑖𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑠, 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑟, 𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛𝒉𝑜𝑜𝑑,
𝘐 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑑
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
𝑇𝒉𝑒 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠,
𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝒉𝑠, 𝑜𝑟 𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝒉𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑜𝑓,
𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑒𝑥𝒉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑠, 𝑤𝑒 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑜𝑤𝑛,
𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝒉 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦, 𝘐'𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝒉 𝑜𝑡𝒉𝑒𝑟𝑠'
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝘐 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝒉 𝑤𝒉𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑏𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡,
𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝒉𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑡𝑎𝑢𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑝𝒉𝑦,
𝑎 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑧𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝒉𝑜𝑙𝑑, 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒,
𝛭𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝘐 𝑐𝒉𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑, 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
"𝑇𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝒉𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒'𝑠 𝑠𝑎𝑘𝑒," 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝒉𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑢𝑐𝒉 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒...
𝑠𝒉𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝒉𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝘐 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝒉𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝒉𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡,
"𝘐 𝑙𝑜𝑤-𝑘𝑒𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝒉𝑒"
𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑡𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑡
"𝑇𝒉𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑦𝑐𝑙𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑠𝒉𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝘐 𝑑𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑖𝑛 2020."
𝘐 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑐𝒉 𝑤𝒉𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝒉𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,258 Literary Works • 673,075 Reviews
Hello, My Friend!
I hope your day/night is going well thus far! As I was scrolling through the "Oldest Works" section of the Green Room, I discovered this hidden gem and decided to give it the attention it deserves, with a quick review. Hope you don't mind!
To start, man, this poem got me thinking. It feels complex, but in a good way that leaves me wondering the meaning behind every line (even though, knowing myself, I'm probably not doing it well lol). It feels like this poem is using this image of death in a way that describes, perhaps, a relationship that in itself died too soon. "Dressed as the ghost of your past life" and "blood on my ring finger" evoke these images of a decayed romance and times past, yet showing up late—being present, haunting him still—imply that there are still remnants keeping you connected...It's strangely beautiful and unnerving, and with its macabre imagery, it immediately reminds me of some amazing heavyweights in Gothic poetry like "Lenore" or "Porphyria's Lover," which is SO cool!!
*ahem* As far as a technical review goes, I have no recommendations to make here. Nice metric, great wording, and the formatting looks so cool—I love the font you used. I was admittedly a bit bewildered about every "h" being capitalized, but more in a way that makes me go, "I feel like there's a story/reason there." So, all in all...Looks great!
As for picking favorite parts and lines, oof—that's hard, there's so much great material here...I would have to go with:
I loved the beginning, as right off the bat, there's this sense of digging up skeletons and bringing up the weight of this past life, but also a sense of transformation. Maybe this woman is trying to show someone what they missed out on, what they didn't stay long enough to covet. Maybe it's a taunt, showing off what they did not, cannot, and perhaps will not have...
I loved this line, just because it screams Gothic romance. Is that hue of red from a lovely rose, or is it blood? Can you even tell? Ooo...
I loved how this felt like it was expanding on the underlying story. Indeed, you wonder if that necklace is a taunt toward the one they knew in their past, or a thoughtless trophy from that time. Within the context of the poem, though, it also makes me think of how a killer would keep a "prize" from their victim. Which not only fit the theme, but gave off more eerie undertones.
Ah, another awesome line! Like, that is quote-worthy there. It feels, to me, cynical in a way. "Let me demand your love, so I can betray it." Hah, ain't that the way it goes...
Overall, that was an absolutely beautifully-written poem! Very nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
I like how the person showed up unfashionably late, the glamour is taken away and is just reduced to sadness. The change that the person goes through is described very well in this poem. Attending their own funeral reminds me of the end of a relationship. I like how the blood is trying to be washed away with others in an attempt to forget. I can relate with that a lot. I really like this poem. Great Job!
Thank you!