z

Young Writers Society



The Little Girl in the Basement

by Kiki


Chapter Five

Negotiations

Hell found me. I was beginning to think that the demon I saw the other night was a bad omen. It was cold in this dungeon. I didn’t wear anything to keep me warm that day. My father had sent me on a diplomatic mission to our neighboring country. It had to do with an old friend of my father’s. They had fought over my mother and since then they were now rivals. Henry was his name, and his son, Vlad, was a good friend of mine. I was hopeful that he’d help me with the negotiation. Although I don’t think there was going to be much of a negotiation. There were more windows here than in my father’s dungeon and I could clearly see the sun setting through my barred window.

“Liam?” Liam was here as well, in the next cell. He was my body guard, after all.

“Yes, Milady?”

“What do you think is going to happen to us?”

He sighed. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, Kiki.”

He never called me Kiki. I always told him that it was okay to call me Kiki and not to be so formal. I smiled. It put me at ease. I don’t know why, but it did. There were two other guards here with us, Rowan and Hadrian. Those two were the ones who took the man out of the basement away from Pink for me. Rowan had blonde hair and gray eyes. It was an unusual colour combination. Blondes usually either have blue or green eyes. Hadrian had the normal dark brown hair and eyes. All three were very good guardsmen and I enjoyed their company.

“Rowan and Hadrian, are you guys okay?”

“Yes, Milady, we’re fine.” Rowan stated. I heard Hadrian sigh.

“Hadrian, what’s on your mind?”

“All the great times back at home.” He started to snicker. “I remember this one time, my little brother jumped out of a hiding place, scared me and I fell into the pond by our cottage.” He laughed out loud. It echoed throughout the dungeon. He felt anxious and I could feel it fill the room. We weren’t going to die, I know that.

King Henry would be stupid if he tried to kill either of us.

Footsteps. Hadrian fell silent. The three poked their heads through the cell’s bars to see who was coming down the stone stair case. My heart raced. It felt as though it was in my throat. I looked down at my feet trying to swallow my heart back in its place.

“Lady Kimiko?”

I looked up to meet Vlad’s violet eyes. I was bewildered. “Vlad, what brings you down here?”

He pushed his blonde hair out of his way. Vlad always had long beautiful hair that he kept in a low ponytail.

“I convinced my father to allow me to take you out of the cell.” He mentioned to his guard to unlock my cell door. “I am going to take you to our guest room.”

I stood up from my seated position. “I demand that I get to take Hadrian with me. He’s beginning to become unstable.”

“I was only able to get you out of the cell. I don’t want to disobey my father.”

“I can give two shits about your father!” I stomped out of my cell in a rage. “I demand you to let him out!”

“Kiki, I can’t.” Vlad gave me a solemn look. “I’m sorry.”

I ran over to Hadrian’s cell. “I promise you, you will be alive! I’ll come back for all of you.” He griped my hand on the cell’s bar. “I promise.”

Vlad’s warm hand gently rubbed my shoulder. “Please, follow me.”

I followed Vlad up the stone staircase. The torches lit our way. With every passing flame, I was beginning to remember what happened that night I was confronted by that demon…

I screamed. Within seconds the doors to my room flung open and my father ran in with a flaming torch. He ran to my side and I could clearly see his raging blue eyes. I felt a cold sweat break upon my face. My heavy breathing was starting to hurt my chest. Aunt Kimiko ran next to my father, I noticed a fury in her amber eyes that I have never seen before.

“Kiki, what’s going on?” My father’s voice rang in my ears. “Kimiko?”

“There…there was…daddy, we’re not safe.” My heart pounded. With every thump and with every breath, it hurt.

“Kiki, what’s wrong?” Daddy had knelt down to my height, handing the torch over to Aunt Kimiko.

The air was still heavy, as if though that thing was still there.

“There was a presence,” Aunt Kimiko took in a deep breath. “An evil presence.”

“Daddy, it was there!” I pointed to the foot of my bed. “It crawled up onto my bed, reached out for me!”

My father brought me into his arms and held me tightly. Even through my scream, it was amazing how Pink did not even stir in her sleep. Aunt Kimiko had volunteered to sleep next to me to help make me feel safer.

Pink woke me up early the next morning playing with my hair. She had one of my brushes in her hand, brushing it through my hair. My eyes were still heavy with sleep. I could barely open my eyes.

“P-Pink,” I groaned. “What are you doing?”

“Brushing your hair,” she smiled. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

It still was astonishing of how much English she picked up within a few months since she came here.

“It’s okay. I should probably be getting up anyway.”

“Kimi, why was Aunt Kimiko in here this morning?”

I shouldn’t lie to her, so I won’t. “Something happened last night. I wasn’t sure if it was a dream or not, but something was there and I felt unsafe. I sat up in my bed and noticed Pink’s eyes widen in shock.

“What was it, Kimi?” She exclaimed.

“It’s a little hard to explain.” I pushed passed Pink’s hair out of her eyes. “It was a black figure, although I can see its facials very clear. It had big round glassy eyes…the most striking feature was that its pinky was longer than the rest of its fingers, but only on its right hand.”

“K-Kimi…” Pink had dropped my brush on the bed and cling herself on me. “He went after you too?” she sobbed.

I stroked the back of her head. I had no idea what she was talking about but I could feel her anxiety. Before I got a second thought in, my father walked in. He wore elegant red cape with his silver armour. It was grandpa’s armour engraved with golden designs of vines and ivy. He also had grandpa’s sword in his hilt on the belt.

“Kiki, I didn’t think you’d be awake.” His radiant red hair shimmered in the sunlight. “Did you sleep okay last night?”

“No, daddy…”

“Then I guess it’s a bad time to tell you that I need you to go on a trip for me?”

“A trip?” I sat up straight. “Daddy, where on earth do I need to go?”

“A negotiation trip to our neighboring country; I guess Henry wants peace between us finally. His immaturity towards my marriage to your mother has finally ceased. I am sure you remember Vlad, Henry’s son, right?”

I groaned. There was nothing wrong with Vlad, besides the fact that I think he liked me…a little too much.

“Daddy! I don’t want to!”

“Please, Kiki, for me? I’m sure Vlad will help.”

“Daddy, I have never been on a negotiations trip…let alone a negotiation! I wouldn’t know what to do!” I whined.

“Henry specifically asked that you go instead of me, honey.” He smiled. “It’ll be a good lesson for you when you take the throne!”

“But daddy!”

“No buts! Please, Kiki, do it for me?”

I sighed heavily and glared down at my bed sheets. “Fine…”

Daddy had kissed my forehead. “Thanks sweetie!” He began to leave my room, but at my door he stopped suddenly. “Oh, by the way, I’m going to have to ask you to leave Pink here. She can stay with me and I’ll watch over her while you’re gone.”

“NO!!” Pink screamed. “Don’t go!”

I forced myself to nod my head to my father. I didn’t say anything, trying to let him know that I didn’t approve of any of this. Hopefully he’ll feel bad about it sooner or later.

I got up out of bed and stomped to my closet. I heard Pink’s little footsteps right behind me. I began to rummage through my dresses to wear to this negotiation trip. It would take me couple of days by carriage, so I chose a few more dresses to change into. I laid them on my bed on the way to the bathroom, Pink trotting behind me.

“Kimi, I don’t wanna stay with your daddy!”

I sighed and turned around from the bathtub. I knelt down to Pink’s height and pushed her hair from her eyes. I just realized she didn’t have her berets in. “Pink, honey I need you to do this for me, okay? Be good for daddy, you can trust him.”

“But, Kimi what if something happens and you get hurt? I can’t help you all the way over here!”

I smiled at her. “Pink, it’s not that far away, I’ll be fine! I promise.” I lied of course, but I needed her to stay home. If anything happened to me or if King Henry started to treat me badly, I wouldn’t want her to ruin it for daddy. Even though it would be hilarious if Pink beat up King Henry, it was his fault that he was immature about my father marrying my mother.

“You promise?”

I nodded, “I promise!” I giggled, “C’mon let’s get your bath.”

I helped Pink into the tub and coached her through the bathing process. Danni soon walked in and listened to Pink talk about how she didn’t want to stay with daddy. I coached her through the drying process as soon as she was done washing and I then began to take my bath after cleaning the water. I informed Pink through dressing herself while washing my hair. I was surprised that Danni help Pink dress.

“Kiki, where are you heading?” Danni asked.

“Our neighboring country,” I sighed heavily. “King Henry had specifically asked for me to negotiate for experience.”

“It makes sense,” Danni smiled. “Do you need me go to with you?”

“I would appreciate it but I need you to stay here and help daddy with Pink.” I reached over to grab my towel to dry off. “You’re the only maid that feels comfortable around her and will go near her. Vlad will grant me a maid to help me dress.”

“I understand.”

Danni had helped me dress in my favorite outfit. You know the one I wore to Sophia’s tea party? Yeah, that one. I snickered when I sat in front of the mirror on my vanity table, remembering Pink’s fight with her. My vanity table was a gift from Japan, so it was intricate with its elaborate golden designs on the black lacquer table. Danni was really good at styling my hair. For the trip she put my tiara on my head first to pull back my hair away from my eyes and pulled back the rest up into a huge mess that she curled to add some volume. My now curled hair flowed down to about the middle of my back. Normally it’d reach to my bottom without the curls. When she was done I stood up and gave her a hug.

“Thank you, Danni.” I noticed Pink in the corner of my eye standing next to Danni with her arms crossed. She had a pouty look on her face and she sighed heavily.

“Kimi, why can’t I go with you?”

“Pink, remember what happened at Sophia’s party?”

“Yeah, I do!” Pink’s face lit up. “It was the best party ever!”

“I can’t afford if you do that to King Henry. There will be times that he will disagree with me and mock me in some way. Almost like what Sophia did to me at her party. If you kick him in his face, the negotiations …well let’s just say there won’t be any negotiation if you do that.”

“What if I promise not to do that?”

I sighed and fought for words. I wanted her to go with me, but I didn’t want her to be in danger of being found out. There was a high chance of that happening.

“Pink…” I groaned. “I really need you to stay here, okay? I’ll be back in a couple of days.” Four to be exact; I wasn’t expecting this negotiation to take longer than a day, though it might. I knelt down to her height and brought her into a bear hug. “Please, for me?”

“Okay, fine…” Pink returned the hug.

“Please be good for daddy okay?”

Pink nodded.

My father met me at the base of the staircase. Aunt Kimiko and Emperor Ren were standing next to him. Liam stood beside my father and took my chest from Danni, who was right beside me, to put it in the carriage. Daddy had led me out of the huge wooden doors to the carriage awaiting my arrival. Hadrian and Rowan were in the front ready to drive the horses and Liam was right beside the door ready to help me in. The Cinderella-esc carriage was rather beautiful and fit for a princess. Its silver trim with the elegant designs in gold went well with the emerald drapes. The inside was very comfortable with its black leather seats. An expensive carriage one might say, and yes indeed it was, but royalty gets what they want. My father wanted it because it reminded him of me. I think it was the emerald drapes. Emerald green was one of my favorite colours.

I gave my father a hug goodbye.

“Good luck, Kiki. I’m sure you’ll do fine!” He gave me a reassuring smile and kissed my forehead.

“I hope so.” I grinned nervously. Giving Aunt Kimiko a hug I noticed she hugged me tighter than usual.

“We’ll be here when you come back.” She whispered in my ear. “I’ll pray for your safety.”

Emperor Ren bowed and then to my surprise, gave me a hug goodbye. “You have finally blossomed into a beautiful flower, just like your mother.”

My heart raced as I filled with confidence and I smiled gratefully. “Domo arigatoo gozaimasu! I greatly appreciate the compliment!” I told him thank you in Japanese. After giving a low bow to Emperor Ren I knelt down to Pink’s height and greeted her with a kiss on her cheek. “Please remember to be good for daddy, okay?”

Pink nodded and embraced me. “Please hurry and come back!”

“I will I promise.” I stood up straight and entered the carriage with Liam’s help. I sat on the comfortable seats and looked out the window at Pink. She looked as though she was about to cry. I wonder how hard it was for her to stay with my father. I know that she didn’t trust men and she wouldn’t even if her life depended on it. Although I could understand the reason why; I mean, if men beat me to a bloody pulp every day when I was nine, I wouldn’t trust them either. Liam had got into the carriage and sat across from me. Pink then looked down at her feet when the carriage started to move. It must have been hard on the poor thing to see me go. I felt horrible leaving her.

The day quickly moved into the night. I fell drowsy around what felt like eleven in the evening. There wasn’t much to do on these carriage rides.

“Milady, are you hungry?” Liam asked, waking me up a bit.

I shook my head, “No I’m fine, but if you guys are hungry go ahead and stop. I don’t mind.”

Liam had poked his head out of the window, “Hadrian, let’s stop for some grub!”

The carriage had come to a slow stop. I looked out the window and noticed we were out of my kingdom and into King Henrys. By morning we should be at his castle waiting for him to let us in.

“Princess, if you get hungry let us know, okay?” Liam stated while getting out of the carriage.

“I will.”

I heard the door close lightly and I began to doze off.

CRASH

I jerked up from the noise.

CLANG

Swords? Something was going on, hopefully not a fight! Surely not! I opened the carriage door and did my best to get out without tripping on my dress. To my agitation, there was a fight going on. Hadrian was on the ground I hoped unconscious. Liam almost had the enemies running off. Before I got a good look at the enemies everything went black…

“Lady Kimiko?” Vlad’s smooth voice broke my concentration. We were no longer in the dungeon, but instead in front of the double golden doors to the guest room. I gave Vlad a puzzled look; I could feel it on my face. He opened one of the golden doors and allowed me to enter. The room made me feel uncomfortable. Even though the guest room was dressed in emerald silk drapes and made me feel a little at home, it still had this awkward aura inside of it. I turned around to tell Vlad “thank you” and watch him close the door. Instead he entered the room himself and shut the door behind him. I waited for him to say something.

“I’m so sorry for my father’s rash behavior.” Vlad quickly stated. His violet eyes sparkled in the candle light.

“It’s not your fault, Vlad. Don’t feel bad.” I sighed, and then something just popped into my mind. I could use this to my advantage. “Vlad, may I ask you something?”

“Yes you may.”

“Do you have any idea why your father is doing this to me? Is it something to get back at my daddy or something?”

“It actually has nothing to do with your father.” Vlad sighed. “I’m only telling you this because I think it’s ridiculous.”

I anticipated his next sentence. He began to snicker as he continued.

“Someone from a village near your kingdom told him about a certain ‘death girl’ as they called it.”

“They? So there was more than one?”

“Well, actually I don’t know, I only heard one person talk to him and it sounded like a woman. I was eavesdropping, you know me.” Vlad laughed even more. “He actually believes that she lives in your castle and he’s planning on using you to get to her. We both know that your father won’t hesitate to bring her, if she even exists, to get you back.”

My heart sunk. He was right. My father wouldn’t hesitate at all. I know that Vlad was talking about Pink, but just to make sure…

“Did she give your father a description?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah she did.” Vlad sat down in a chair next to the door. “She was described having very long unusual pink hair; but what was even more unusual were her eyes.” Vlad took a deep breath to catch up to it. He was laughing so hard. “Her eyes are supposed to be this bright green but, but the whites of her eyes are supposed to be black and her pupils, you ask? White, they are white. How stupid does that sound?”

“How about a name?” I felt my anger rising. I hope he didn’t say that Pink herself was stupid…just the thought. Even if he said that the thought of Pink existed was stupid, it still made me angry.

Vlad busted out laughing. “She does have a name! Pink was her given name, it must be because of her weird hair! Aw, man what a weird little thing huh?”

I raised my hand and with all my force that I had, slapped Vlad across the face. The smack echoed throughout the huge guest room. The birds on the balcony flew off in a hurry towards the sunset. The bewildered look on his face made me feel horrible about what I had done.

“Vlad, it’s true. It isn’t a funny legend. Pink is at my castle in my room, sulking because she didn’t get to come with me.”

“What? Are you…are you serious?” Vlad stood up. “My father wants her for his own needs. Battle needs.”

“I figured as much. Vlad you have to stop him.”

“The letter was already sent this morning. I don’t know if I can…”

“Please, Vlad! Send some of your personal guards out and try to stop it, please!”

“I’ll try…”

Vlad stood up in a hurry, gave me a hug and ran out of the room.

The agonizing wait for him to return didn’t come until the next day. The four poster canopy bed was made just how I like it, covered with pillows and comfortable comforters. Needless to say I slept well once I fell asleep that is. My anxiety rose with every suffering hour that went by with no news. I began pacing the room, going out on the balcony watching the birds or the clouds but none of it seemed to work.

“Kiki?”

I turned around towards the voice. Vlad stood there with a solemn look on his face. My heart sunk, he didn’t get the letter in time.

“You know, don’t you?”

“You were always easy for me to read.” I sighed heavily with a certain shake to the air that came out of my mouth. “Promise me something.”

“Anything.” Vlad walked a bit closer towards me.

“When my father comes, stay in the castle no matter what okay?”

“What, why?”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you.” I sniffled and wiped my eyes. “You might want to tell your father to keep his distance as well.”

Vlad had pulled me into his arms and nodded. “Okay.” He sighed. “We suspect that your father should either be here by twilight or tomorrow morning.” his grip tightened. “My father used one of his messenger falcons. That’s why we couldn’t get to it on time.”

“It’s okay, Vlad. I thank you for your effort. I greatly appreciate it.”

It was astonishing how warm and how nice it felt to be in his arms. I had no idea why, but it was comforting. I couldn’t help but smile. I heard the doors open behind Vlad and stood on my tip-toes to see who it was. Vlad was way taller than I was; I only came up to his shoulder. His father entered the room with a broad smile on his face. He had the same hair and eyes as Vlad did, only he kept his hair shorter and had a bushy beard. Henry was a bit taller than Vlad and he was more bulky.

“I do apologize for the intrusion,” Henry stated. “Vlad, do you mind if I have a word with Lady Kimiko?”

Vlad let go of me and gave me a reassuring smile; I guess to let me know that I’d be okay and he left the room without even a word.

“Let me begin by apologizing for the rash behavior I gave you.” Henry smiled. His smile wasn’t of pure forgiveness. Just like Vlad, I could read him like a book.

“You don’t want to be outside when my father arrives.” I stated calmly.

“Oh? Why is this?”

“Because, milord,” I scowled, I felt my anger rising. The flame burned my veins. “You will die.”

Henry laughed. I knew of course he wouldn’t take me seriously. “Oh, is that right? And who will kill me, you?”

“No. I myself know that I cannot.” I stated coldly. “Milord, if you do not mind I would appreciate that my guards be set free and welcomed in this room as well.”

“Sure, sure.”He stated quickly. “I’ll send my guard to go down and get them. Vlad said something about Hadrian being unstable?”

“Yes, when he gets anxious he kind of goes…insane for a lack of a better word.” I began to calm down a bit. I was surprised he agreed to let them free I could feel that weight on my heart being lifted. Henry set his hand on my shoulder and gripped it lightly.

“I’m not planning to kill either you or your guards, Kiki. I hope you don’t take this ordeal personally or anything.”

“Please forgive me, but I have.”

Henry sighed heavily and nodded. He didn’t say anything else as he left the room. I heard him outside the door telling his guard to let Liam and the others free and show them to my room. I was relieved that he actually gave me his word. I can’t feel bad if something bad happens. If Pink kills Henry, I can’t feel bad…I warned him. I jumped up on the bed still nicely made. I couldn’t be rude, so I made the bed this afternoon when I woke up. The maids were surprised that I made the bed when they walked in and thanked me graciously for it. I heard the door open for a moment and close quickly after.

“Kiki, have they hurt you?!” Liam’s voice echoed.

“No, Liam they have not.” I sat up in the bed and smiled at him. The look of worry on that man’s face made him look so much older than he really was. When he saw me smile, the worried face vanished.

“Did you get any information as to why we were ambushed?” Rowan asked

I mentioned for Hadrian to sit on the bed for comfort. “Henry wants Pink.”

Liam gave me a hard stare. “What for?”

“Vlad told me that it was for Henry’s own advantage in battle.”

“She’s what, only nine years of age?” Hadrian asked

“Yeah, she is. I bet Henry wanted to train her. It wouldn’t work. If you haven’t noticed already, Pink doesn’t trust men. But you know I don’t blame her.”

“Neither do I,” Liam stated. “If men beat me to a bloody pulp every day I wouldn’t trust them either.”

“Especially at her age.” Rowan spoke out thoughtfully.

“Exactly my point. I have no idea what to expect out of Pink once my father arrives.” I leaned back on the soft pillows on the bed while tossing Hadrian one of them. “Relax; we’re not going to die. I have Henry’s word on that.”

Twilight came pretty quickly. After my guards were left in the guest room with me, we kept talking, trying to make each of us feel better about this whole ordeal. Hadrian fell asleep at the foot of the bed curled up with the many pillows I gave him. Liam sat in the chair next to the door as if he was guarding it. Rowan was enjoying the scenery on the balcony. I stayed put on the bed, it was way too comfy to leave it.

“Vlad sure does know your favorite colour, Milady.” Rowan stated softly.

“Yeah, it isn’t too hard to remember. Pink’s favorite colour isn’t hard to remember either.” I giggled. “Vlad has his heart in the right place which makes me happy. I hope that one day he’ll make a better king than his father is.”

“He likes you, doesn’t he?” Rowan snickered loudly.

I scowled. “Yeah…I kind of feel bad for him,” Sighing I continued. “I mean don’t get me wrong, yeah he’s gorgeous but I don’t know…I’m only seventeen and I don’t think marriage is going to help anything or mend our father’s relationship. I believe that they’re just being immature about the whole thing.” Noticing Hadrian’s puzzled look as he sat up, I smiled. “Vlad had asked me to marry him a few years back.” Hadrian was our newest guard and he wasn’t there at the time. Liam and Rowan however were. “I’m sorry did we wake you?”

“Nah…I can easily go back to sleep. I was just curious on what happened is all.” Hadrian laid his head back down on the pillows.

A few minutes of silence was followed by a few knocks on the door. Liam stood up and opened the door. Vlad had entered with a few guards of his father’s. The guards quickly walked over to me and helped me out of the bed with a little of force.

“Your father is here.” Vlad stated coldly. “If you and your guards will please follow me, I will take you to him.”

“If your guards let go of me, I will be more than happy to oblige.” I stated angrily.

Vlad mentioned for them to let go of me and I followed Vlad out of the room. Liam, Rowan and Hadrian followed right behind me. I looked back; I had to make sure that they were. The long stone hallway was being lit by torches on the wall. A maid was lighting them one by one. Out of the windows I could clearly see my father’s carriage out on the path in front of the castle. The gate was closed behind him. The sun setting over the horizon was gorgeous with its amber colours mixed with the purples and blues.

“Vlad, you’re not going to be outside are you?” I asked, trotting up to walk beside him.

“My father had asked that I be outside with him.” Vlad answered. He didn’t look over at me and kept his stare straight ahead. He felt ashamed, I could feel it.

“Vlad, please answer my next question honestly.” I sighed and waited for his agreement. Vlad finally looked over at me with a sort of worried look on his face.

“Yeah, sure I will.”

“Will you hate me if anything happens to your father?” I stopped walking; causing my guards and Henry’s to stop abruptly behind me. A clanging noise took my attention back as Hadrian walked into Rowan, their armour made the noise. Vlad stopped a few inches from me and he didn’t answer my question. He stared with that same worried look. I wasn’t sure if he was worried about his father’s death or taking the throne so early. Twenty years of age for him was perfect, or at least I thought so. Henry was a brutal king, if I haven’t already told you. Along with his reign he brought a lot of enemies. He actually tried to have a war with my father’s kingdom once before. My father declined. My mother was present at the time, so Henry didn’t try anymore. Oh the stories my father told me. Then again, those enemies bring stress and I’m sure Vlad isn’t ready to deal with that just yet.

I stared back at Vlad with a blank expression, awaiting his answer. I heard him sigh very heavily.

“No, I couldn’t hate you. It wouldn’t be your fault.” Vlad had set his hand on my shoulder. With the last finger he set upon my shoulder everything went black.

I was standing outside in front of my father, Pink right next to him. The solemn look on Pink’s face shot a pain right through my heart. I think she knew what was going to happen. Something was off. My vision wasn’t as clear as it should be. It felt as though it was a dream. I was given to my father and Pink was given to Henry. Pink’s scream echoed in my ears, the pain she felt was excruciating. Somehow I could feel it. I could feel my heart being ripped apart. I reached for her with no avail. My father and I were almost to his carriage when I noticed Vlad and Henry stare down at Pink. She was on the ground, on her hands and knees. A black flame engulfed her. Her skin began to melt from her bones in certain places. On her face, her arms and legs, just little spots and you could actually see her bones. My heart pounded in my throat. You could clearly see the insanity on her face as she began to float in midair. Her green eyes were pure white and that smile. That smile seemed so familiar.

“Kiki!” Vlad’s voice rang out and broke my concentration.

Vlad had his other hand on my opposite shoulder shaking me. I felt my eyes widen a bit.

“W-what just happened?” I heard my voice shake.

“We don’t know, Milady.” Liam stated, checking my head for a fever. “You feel fine…”

I was in the same spot before I blacked out. I looked around and noticed that outside my father stood in that same spot. Pink hid behind his legs, peeking out here and there. He was talking to Henry about something. I couldn’t hear them.

“V-Vlad please stay here…” I set my cold hands on my forehead. My head started to pound with pain.

“I can’t, I have to be with my father.”

With nothing else said, he escorted us outside to his father. My surroundings on the way there were clouded still. I was in a daze, trying to put myself back where I should be. That had never happened to me before. It was strange. Was it some sort of vision? I had no idea. I hope not. I wouldn’t think Pink was capable of something like that.

“KIMI!!” Pink’s shriek brought me back to reality. She tried to run towards me but with no advantage. My father put out his arm to keep her in the place behind him.

“Daddy, please don’t do it!” I screamed out to him. I heard my voice echo. “Don’t give Henry Pink!”

My father progressed towards Henry, who without my noticing, moved in front of me, walking towards my father. I saw the angry look upon daddy’s face. It was rather scary to witness. He looked like the pictures depicted as Satan. It’s horrible for me to reference it as so, but it was the best thing that came to mind.

“Pollux, it’s good to see you again!” Henry stated happily. He seemed way too happy about seeing my father.

“Henry.” Daddy nodded at him, keeping his Satan-like face. “I can’t believe what you did.”

“Just hand me the little girl and you get your daughter back.”

“I want to be with Kimi!” Pink spoke up with a certain cry to her voice.

“Pink, be quiet! We went over this!” Daddy snarled. “Give me Kimiko first. Make sure Liam and the others come as well.”

Henry mentioned for his guards to allow us to move forward. I lead the group and stopped beside my father, allowing Rowan and Hadrian to enter the carriage. Liam remained by my side.

“Are you going to hand me the girl?” Henry stated a bit agitated.

“No, he isn’t!” I said firmly, leaving my solemn look at my father. Giving him that certain begging look; trying to get my way.

I couldn’t believe what happened next. My father kept his end of the deal. He stepped aside and gently pushed Pink to Henry.

“Daddy, no!” I screamed. “No! No! Stop!”

He pulled me by one of my arms as I reached out for Pink with the other. When she realized what was going on she screamed and reached out for me. I barely touched her gloved hand and I was then torn from her. This scene, this…this scene, something seemed so familiar.

“VLAD!” I gasped. “RUN!”

Pink was on the ground on her hands and knees. I knew something horrible was going to happen. My father’s grip loosened and let go of my arm as Pink floated in midair. The black flame, her bones, the insane look upon her round face, my vision was becoming reality. One of Henry’s guards began to run towards her. Before I was able to even think of doing anything, Pink’s black flame engulfed him. I wasn’t able to see the guard, the flame was too thick. I could clearly hear him yell and it sounded as if he was in pain. The flame swirled up into the air going to the next guard in line. The first guard was gone. Nothing was left besides ashes and his armour. Pink laughed maniacally with every guard that was engulfed with the flame. One after the other, they were disintegrated to nothing but ash. Henry realized what he had unleashed. He wore a triumphant grin on his face.

“YES! THIS IS WHAT I WANTED! VLAD! DO YOU SEE?” Henry laughed insanely.

Pink heard him; she turned her insane smile towards Henry. My father was frozen in his spot.

“Henry, RUN!” Daddy yelled.

Vlad was frozen in fear. I could acutely see the terror on his face. I couldn’t blame him; I myself was frozen in horror. I felt a cold sweat break out on my forehead.

“Dear God…” A familiar voice; I shot my attention to my right. Aunt Kimiko stood there in one of her elegant kimono. A black and gold kimono that looked astonishing on her.

Henry didn’t move. The black flame was inches from him. I felt my legs moving. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but I ran towards Henry. My face met with the dirt path, my tiara fell over my eyes and my hair became a mess. I had tripped on my dress. That wasn’t one of my biggest concerns. When I looked up and pushed my tiara back in its place, I was too late. Henry’s laughs became screams of agonizing distress. My heart pounded against my chest, noticing Vlad was the last to be taken care of. My breathing became heavier as my father helped me up on my feet. He kept a tight grip on my arm. Vlad’s knees shook with terror as the black flame began to inch towards him. I tore myself away from my father’s grip, leaving him behind, not looking back. I was probably going to kill myself trying to stop her.

“Pink NO!” I screamed. My throat was pounding from the pain of my screaming. My heart thumped against my chest. It was beginning to be hard to breathe. “STOP! Please Pink!” I stopped running standing only a few inches from Pink. Her attention was off of Vlad, the flame stopped only a few feet from him.

“Pink…” I jumped when she turned her head to look at me with that insane smile. I was terrified, there was no mistaking it. “D-don’t forget…please, don’t forget who you are.” I swallowed a huge lump in my throat, fighting back tears. “Stand strong. Remember yourself. Remember where your heart lies.” I was throwing out nonsense, or at least I thought it was. “You remember your Kimi, don’t you?” I smiled weakly. “It’s okay Pink, we’re safe, and no one is going to take you from me.”

It worked. Pink lost consciousness and fell in my arms. The black flames disintegrated and her flesh began to reform itself back to normal. Her round face didn’t carry that insane look anymore. She seemed humble and peaceful. I brushed her hair out of her face and that heavy weight on my heart disappeared. She was finally the Pink I knew. I let out a sigh of relief and I smiled, letting the tears fall. I held her close to me as I began to walk towards my father.

“Kiki!” Vlad’s voice rang out. I turned around to him running towards me.

“Yes?” I smiled warmly.

“It wasn’t a legend?”

“I told you it wasn’t. You should know me by now, Vlad…I’ve never told you a lie before, why would I start now?” My voice seemed raspy. It was hurting from the screaming I did. I cleared my throat a bit. “I’m sorry about your father.”

Vlad looked down and I noticed a quick glare at Pink. “Yeah… I-I guess it couldn’t be helped.”

My father winced a bit when walking passed Pink and I as he laid his hand on Vlad’s shoulder. “You’re more than welcome to come with us.”

“Then who will rule my kingdom?” Vlad sighed. “I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

“You are. You’ll do fine. Listen, if you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate.” My father gave Vlad a solemn look. “I’m sorry about your father. I had no intention for this to happen. I really didn’t have a clue this little girl did that.”

Vlad nodded. “I didn’t believe it myself.”

I let my father speak with Vlad and I walked slowly back to the carriage. Liam helped me inside and I sat next to Aunt Kimiko who stared out of the window.

“Izanami…” She mumbled under her breath. I was astonished how I heard it, she said it so quiet.

“Aunt Kimiko, are you okay?”

She simply nodded her head.


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18 Reviews


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Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:56 am
Kiki says...



Thank you so much Meadow!! =D *huggles* I hope you had fun on your camping trip!




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Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:05 am
MeadowLark wrote a review...



Heya Kiki!

I'm so glad you're still writing on this. I was on a camping trip so I had no access to a computer xD

Hadrian had the normal dark brown hair and eyes.


What colour were his eyes? I think you missed it ^_^

All three were very good guardsmen and I enjoyed their company.


How were they good guardsmen? And how did she enjoy their company? Do they make her laugh, feel safe, etc?

He felt anxious and I could feel it fill the room.


How would she have known he felt anxious? I think you should say he sounded anxious ;)

We weren’t going to die, I know that
.

Maybe she should have told him that to make him feel better.

“Yes, Milady, we’re fine.” Rowan stated.


Change the period to a comma.

Footsteps.


Describe the sound the footsteps made. Did they echoe down into the dungeon? Were they light or heavy sounding?

He pushed his blonde hair out of his way. Vlad always had long beautiful hair that he kept in a low ponytail.

“I convinced my father to allow me to take you out of the cell.” He mentioned to his guard to unlock my cell door. “I am going to take you to our guest room.”


This could be one paragragh. Also, I think you mean to say motioned instead of mentioned ;)

He griped my hand on the cell’s bar.


Gripped. Also, describe the look on his face and the faces of the others.

“K-Kimi…” Pink had dropped my brush on the bed and cling herself on me. “He went after you too?” she sobbed.


I would nix the had. Also, reword the last part to say "and clung to me." Add that she was crying before Pink started crying again then you don't need the "she sobbed" part.

Before I got a second thought in, my father walked in.


He didn't even knock?

His radiant red hair shimmered in the sunlight.


Yes! Some description of her father! He always seemed so blank ;)

“Daddy! I don’t want to!”


Why doesn't she want to go?

“No buts! Please, Kiki, do it for me?”


Describe his facial expressions. Give him some emotion and just more of everything! Did he shift his weight, pace the room, run his hand through his hair?

I nodded, “I promise!” I giggled, “C’mon let’s get your bath.”


Nix the "I giggled". Reword the beginning to say, "I nodded, a giggle slipping through my lips."

“Yeah, I do!” Pink’s face lit up. “It was the best party ever!”


This is great! I love it :D

My vanity table was a gift from Japan, so it was intricate with its elaborate golden designs on the black lacquer table.


So where is this all taking place? I had the impression it was in a different world but you mentioned Japan here and I think before. So, if this is in our world, where? I assume some place in Europe? Or is this like a parellel world?

Liam had got into the carriage and sat across from me.


I would think the guards rode on horses outside the carrage so protecting whoever is easier.

I felt horrible leaving her.


How did she feel horrible? Show us more then telling us.

“Milady, are you hungry?” Liam asked, waking me up a bit.

I shook my head, “No I’m fine, but if you guys are hungry go ahead and stop. I don’t mind.”

Liam had poked his head out of the window, “Hadrian, let’s stop for some grub!”


Describe the facial expressions on Liam's face. He too seems rather blank so I would give him a little more too.

Swords? Something was going on, hopefully not a fight! Surely not! I opened the carriage door and did my best to get out without tripping on my dress. To my agitation, there was a fight going on. Hadrian was on the ground I hoped unconscious. Liam almost had the enemies running off. Before I got a good look at the enemies everything went black…


Go into more description here! It's a fight scene, show your reader her men battling the enemies. Describe the sights and sounds. Give your reader more! Surely Kiki saw something other than one guy holding a bunch of guys back and one guy lying on the ground. Was it muddy, was the grass trampled, was there horses around, snorting and prancing around?

“I’m so sorry for my father’s rash behavior.” Vlad quickly stated.


Change the period to a comma.

“Kiki, have they hurt you?!” Liam’s voice echoed.


Nix the exclamation mark. Give him some actions to show how worried he was.

“Your father is here.” Vlad stated coldly.


Why did he say it so coldly? I'm confused.

“Kiki!” Vlad’s voice rang out. I turned around to him running towards me.

“Yes?” I smiled warmly.


Vlad just watched his father die and he's worried about her? I would be in shock at what I just saw. And she's smiling? Sure she'll be glad about having Pink under control again, but she would defiantly be shaken up, pale, clammy, and stammering.

My father gave Vlad a solemn look.


You've used solemn often in this whole chapter. Find a different word ;)

~~~~~

Description~ You could defiantly use more. Give your characters some actions. They just talk with no action. The settings, like the dungeon and hallways are blank. You give us a little but I suppose I want a little more. And that fight scene! That defiantly needs more!

Characters~ Several of your characters are quite blank. Mainly, eveyrone but Kiki and Pink :D Give them actions, facial expressions,etc. Make them more life like and believable.

Plot~ It was surprising and quite interesting about what Pink did at the ending. I wouldn't want to mess with that little girl :D

Have any questions? PM me. Also, when the next chapter is up PM alos.

Meadow




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Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:15 am
Kiki says...



READ me after, please <3

I wanna apologize for it being soo long!! Omg, it's like nine pages in my word file. ._. You shall receive hugs and if I have enough some points...

I also reread it like five times...I think I got everything like the "hads" and stuff. I made sure there were no typos or anything...

Good luck

and thank you so much in advance! *huggles*





What's the point of being a grown-up if you can't be a bit childish sometimes?
— 4th Doctor