To: My church.
I don't mean to offend you,
But that is what I do,
You look at me with judging eyes,
You don't like my hair and it's dyes,
You hate my books,
You hate my looks,
You hate my language,
you hate with rage,
you assume I am not Christian,
you say I am dambed with your bitchin'
but it's me you hate,
And God says to love so that's my debate.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Haha, feels like I'm in a critical mood lately. I actually do like the poem. (The name should change though, it bugs me now that I read the poem.) I would say that with that part where you repeat "you hate" I would start "you hate" with the hair line rather than "You don't like." Also, you repeat "hair" twice and you repeated "hate" in the line where it said "but it's me you hate hate." Also, you need to capitalize. You stopped doing that later on in the poem. That irked me a little. I would put periods at the ends of your lines, since they're more like sentences than anything.
It flows rather nicely and made me grin at the last line. Isn't God supposed to love? At least, that's what we're taught. Good job and keep it up!!!
Nice, this is very much a poem. Is your church being mean to you? People can be so judgmental. Anyway this is a very good poem! keep writing ( unlike this review which is very lousy)