Young Writers Society

Hey keshavthakuri, I'm Arpan and I'm here to review your work.
First of all this is the first poem I'm reviewing up on, so this is a beginner's call.

Well talking about the poem, the theme is great, and it's description is catchy. Although the whole story in the poem is bit scattered, but the way the words are used in mindblowing, which definitely means you have a good vocabulary (at least what i have interpreted).

Just one little suggestion, always read your work once again thoroughly before posting. I've seen at many places, there were typing errors, for example, "I've" was misspelled as "Iv". When working in a professional field, this might create problems.

Rest, i like your poem. Keep flourishing and keep writing.
Thank you

Hello, shaniac here to review your poem!

I'm liking the overall theme you've presented in this poem as well as the slight hints of description that happen here and there. That aids in making the poem a bit stronger and make the ideal image clearer for the reader. The kind of message that I get would be the narrator is struggling with their life and I'm guessing is basically going through their memories, counting back to where their life was going to be perfect.

One thing I noticed with your poem is that there are a few errors in spelling/grammar. The most common thing that'll distract a reader is mostly small errors. A simple suggestion that I have is rereading the poem and fixing common errors such as cigerrettes should be cigarettes or cant should be can't. In the same vein, I would suggest reading this article as it'll provide some context in what should go into fixing a poem.

Another thing I've noticed as I was reading is there isn't much of a flow between lines. You want an even flow and to really grab the reader into what you're trying to express. Lines such as 'Swept off of my feet by the age I have reached./I'm 28 and I feel nothing but pathetic.' could gain a stronger meaning by adding some metaphors here and there.

To cap, you've done a nice job of expressing a feeling that I'm sure a lot of people have faced. The descriptions that were sprinkled throughout the piece really tie into the main theme. I do think to make this poem really stand out is to fix those small errors and create a better flow between lines. Have a good day/night and if you have any questions, let me know!