Imagination Jungles

This piece is rather unique, and amazing metaphor for an idea, and it reads well. With so many rhymes I am quite surprised that so many of them seem totally natural, however I feel the first two lines seem a little forced, and this is important, as first lines are first impressions. Other that that very well done,
Take That You Fiend!

Hello! I enjoyed reading this poem. The entire idea of describing your imagination as a jungle is very interesting and well-done, especially the way you describe certain aspects of the imagination as animals. I really like the imagery of the jungle, although there are some places where I think you could expand on the descriptions to improve the imagery.
For example: "It's a place covered in vines and prickles and thorns/Where leaves and flowers form when ideas are born/There are caves and chasms and a towering volcano." Instead of just mentioning the vines and flowers and caves, it might help to describe them more.
The poem flows very well, but there are a few lines that don't completely fit:
"Those are the stories that didn't quite make it." The word choice makes this line feel out of place. I don't think the phrase "didn't quite make it" fits well in this poem, although that might just be me.
"And don't be alarmed when skeletons you find."
In this line, it feels as though the flow and word choice are being changed up in order to fit the rhyme in.
This is a very good poem, and many parts of it stand out. I only recommend to expand a few parts, or to reword a few lines. I hope you keep writing!

Hey Tiny here!

I read through this a couple times and I couldn't find any mistakes so I have rewarded you by bolding all my favorite parts of this poem.

January 6, 2014
Poetry: Dramatic, Other
0 comments (0 reviews)



My story is lost in the jungles of my mind,
Where no person may venture of the 'realistic' kind.

It's a place covered in vines and prickles and thorns,
Where leaves and flowers form when ideas are born.
There are caves and chasms and a towering volcano,
Where new stories bubble and pop and boil,
Until they're thoroughly mulled over and ready to explode,
As a brand new story just burning to be told.

And don't be alarmed when skeletons you find,
In a deep ravine or dangling from a vine.
Those are the stories that didn't quite make it,
With plots or characters that just didn't fit.

But let me tell you, the animals that parade around,
From whom all the poetry and music abound,
Are truly a beautiful sight to be behold,
In the Imagination Jungles that never grow old.

And aha! I have found it! Buried in a tree,
That idea I filed away is finally free.
Now I can get to work and my little jungle I'll leave.
Only to return when I'm in dire need,
Of a story, a poem, a little excitement.

Thank you for this wonderful piece!

Keep writing

Or just to entertain myself when other thoughts grow silent.