The Wanderer (+16)

(Some highly personal stuff I went through growing up. Everything's been piling up on me, been bottled up inside, and I just needed to get it all out. You don't have to read if you don't want to. I just needed to find a way to let go.)

I was born one evening in December on the coldest night

At the age of thirteen I was alone and full of spite

I hated the world, and I hated my family too

And so I found myself addicted by the age of sixteen

Addicted to girls and boys with drugs and toys

And I cursed the Bible clean

I never knew my right from wrong and treated you as a queen

You were my foundation, my enemy and my lover

I ignored the warnings, ignored the fighting

And sucked you in like water

I tell the truth.

Now I spent most of my seventeenth year trying to get back

To the life I once had; the life that didn't know facts

Now all the smoke is cleared, but you're presence is coming near

I feel insanity taking me back in its grasp.

I know you're jealous and you wish you could be me

After all, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

And in your final hours, when your body is cold and dead

Don't expect a eulogy from me, just my white ass.

I deserve an award for all my fucking wounds

Pride, love, desperation; a nasty ego that I consumed

Even though my head is cleared, and even though you're still here

I'll lock you up, I'll keep you sound, and then I'll burn you to the ground

I'm the monster you created

I survived to find the opportunity to eat you alive

I won't let you win

My eyes are open, I lift up my own flaws

I won't lose focus, I'm done hating you

My eyes are open, I draw the line between you and me

I won't lose focus, I am not your trophy, and you are not my fucking queen.