Young Writers Society

Its a beautiful clean work I would comment, but even in that, there are some mistakes I would like to point out to you before I give my analysis. You see, one may actually think that how you construct your sentences does not really matter, or how you write and make use of your diction. All of these matters and they make up a good literary work of art, especially the choice of words, sentence linking and word breeding.
Just like the other reviewer said, I noticed that there are some places where you should have made use of your punctuations. I'm sorry u can't point them out at the moment 'cause am lazy. There are also places where I think your spellings missed out and you probably have to reset those.
Nevertheless, the article is a nice one and I urge you to keep it up..

this article or essay, whatever you say, is awesome. the concept of a bubble is so good. there are a few mistakes I would like to draw your attention to-

I want to leave the bubble but no matter how hard I try I cant break the bubble.

What am I suppose to do.

I feel as though I'm ready to burst the bubble I just don't know how too.

I have to point out my achievements to feel achnoledged, even if it is annoying to everyone else.

Iv'e never felt like this

it should be I've

That my parents wont find my posts.

won't not wont

sometimes it gets so hard that I want to just crawl in a corner and never leave.

Hi Kalsie! ^^

First of all, this is a really difficult feeling that can be challenging to navigate, and I’m glad to hear that you’re trying to express yourself in a constructive way to try to work out your feelings. Hopefully you’re able to find a better support system in your life so that you can feel secure and confide in others about your thoughts and emotions. Hopefully, this too will also pass <3

From this point on, I’ll be leaving critique on the writing and presentation of this as a literary work, which isn’t meant to discredit how you’re feeling. In the future, if you’d like to express yourself, thoughts, and emotions with literary critique, I’d recommend checking out your wall or the blogs section. Those are much better suited for venting!

So I like the analogy that you set up at the start about feeling in a bubble. It has its strengths because we often imagine bubbles as small, claustrophobic, constricting and being trapped inside one can invoke the lonely feeling familiar to many of us. There is a bit of a disconnect, in my opinion, because bubbles are often seen as fragile, delicate things. Most people can easily pop a bubble, and I wish that you would play into that more. Why is the narrator unable to pop the bubble? Is it because they are inside, so it just pushes them around and they roll along? Is it because they don’t actually want to/might be afraid to? This could be something to consider e exploring.

As well, I feel like you have so much more room to expand on this bubble metaphor! Bubbles are also often thought about drifting, moving further away from the earth as they fly again. You could also think about how bubbles are shiny, perhaps blinding, and difficult to see through, even if they are completely transparent. I’d also like to maybe see a bit of thought about how the narrator got into the bubble, and more thoughts in their internal struggle of fighting on or admitted defeat.

I mention all this because creating these parallels in this extended metaphor can make the emotions feel much more tangible and real. It’s also much more interesting to read than simply telling us what is happening. It might also challenge you to think deeper about how you’re feeling and make a consistent feeling throughout your piece. As it stands now, there is a really stark contract between the first bit and the second bit as you move away from the metaphor. The transition happens at this point:

sometimes it gets so hard that I want to just crawl in a corner and never leave.