The need to write, to feel my hand move and see words created.
A hunger to engulf and invent a story.
A single sentence, paragraph or page will never quench my thirst,
I need to continue until I am in a state of calm.
When this will come I do not know,
I believe that I can never be completely filled.
It will still linger underneath everything else and sooner than later it will return trying to eat me up.
It is a disease that can never be cured, only temporarily put off.
Put aside for a single moment,
Before consuming me again.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading this poem concerning the irresistible urge to write which many writers experience. Never saw it described as an annoying obsession, or as a plague or a disease in desperate need of a cure before. Since it is, as a reader I felt sorry for the speaker who describes himself as the victim of what some might classify as OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. Find it similar to drug addiction where the drug user becomes enslaved to something initially found pleasurable.. So if that is the reaction that the poem is intending to create then it succeeded in my case.
Suggestions:
“....sooner than later[,]....”
“....will never [quench] my thirst[.]
“Put aside....” = word economy.’
I do not know[.]
Thanks for the review!
Hi there Junel, it's Gymnast2801 here with a review for The Black Cat Squad!
Just to let you know, I will be reviewing this while I read it. My overall thought will be at the end of this review. So...let's get to the review!
-...or page with never clench my thirst, -
Okay, so here I'm guessing you meant to write will but instead it came out 'with'?
Otherwise, I didn't really see anything!
I like this a lot--it reminds me of myself. Sometimes I feel like I just don't want to write but sometimes, I suppose you could say, crave writing. It's odd, how a writer can feel that way, but I think it's also unique and cool!
As for your poem, very nice job! I didn't find much to correct you on and I feel like you flowed quite well! I'm knownthis review is short but hey, short and sweet, right?
Please keep on writing!
-Gymnast2801 for The Black Cat Sauad!
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/im ... 60k129.jpg
Hello Junel!
I find that writing about writing is probably one of the most challenging things to do successfully without coming across as cliche or exhausting (or both, for that matter). It's quite funny how words pretty much fail at describing the art of putting together words expressively. It takes a lot of skill to make something unique that does the activity justice.
I know you have sorted this into the "Other" category, which is probably fitting as it neither feels like a poem nor a story. Certainly, its form is reminiscent of a poem, so I was inclined to read it in such a way. I think that if you tailored this a little more, you might be able to create a poem that might more aptly describe your relationship with writing. By giving it more definition, you are making it easier for the reader to interpret your work and connect better.
One thing that jumped out at me was the punctuation. You use many full stops (periods), and there is nothing wrong with that, except that it is seriously interrupting the flow of your piece. Maybe a semi-colon will do a better job in certain places, perhaps a comma, or even nothing at all. I suggest that you read your piece out loud and see how it flows so you can add corresponding punctuation that matches.
The biggest thing with me is that the tone of this piece is not one of positivity. Since you are a writer, I was definitely taken aback by this impression because I would expect a writer to enjoy the act of writing because it is at least one of their primary passions. By using certain words like "consume", "disease", "never", you encourage a connotation that is not a good one. I got the impression that writing was likened to being a monster for you and, if this is the case, well done for succeeding. However, I get the idea that this is not the case and that you are actually trying to describe how you must write lots in order to be content. I strongly suggest you focus on more uplifting, positive, and inspirational vocabulary that will influence the reader's emotions and impression of your piece so that they truly understand how deep your love for the written word actually is.
This is why writing about writing is so difficult: because it is hard to capture its essence and unique relationship to an individual. If anything, I encourage you to elaborate on this piece by making it more unique, individualistic, and specific. And definitely remember the words with positive connotations!
Let me know if you have any questions or comments.
Best,
Lavvie
Hey, thanks for this wonderful review. First off yeah my punctuation needs some work, I threw this together in the middle of the night and really haven't looked at it since. I love writing and my tone in this piece even seems slightly strange to me, but it also makes sense, because I do have these times where i just need to write, I don't see these as really bad things as i enjoy writing, but when i wrote this i felt this way and yet I had nothing to write about so i just wrote about my need to write, Sorry if that made no sense.