The freezing air bit at my face with vigor, but I enjoyed a cold snap. Although the wind and my gloves made it difficult, I still managed to turn the pages to my book. Winter would not deter me from enjoying a good read. I found myself in the middle of a sentence, but at the end of the page. It was one of those rare moments I loved to relish. It was the only situation where a true “page-turner” is possible. I slid my fingers under the page and debated whether to turn it. I wanted to find out how the sentence would end, but I didn’t want to give up the feeling of anticipation either. I didn’t want to step away from that primal uncertainty that plagues all human beings.
“You should decide quickly,” a voice said, “Before you freeze to death at least.”
I looked to my side and saw a girl sitting on the bench as well. I hadn’t noticed anyone else. I nodded to her slightly, I was not one for conversation, and quickly returned to my inner page-turning debate.
“Don’t you want to see what happens next?” the girl said.
I looked to her again and noticed her, actually noticed her, for the first time. Her hair was long and dark. The wind caused it to flutter along her shoulders. Her eyes were blue and narrow, yet easy to look at. The smile on her face seemed to be permanent. It was a smirk, yet I knew it signified happiness. It was not a smirk of condescension, yet I knew she could wield it in that way. She was puzzling to me for some odd reason. I closed the book, placing my hand inside so I would not lose my page. I wouldn’t allow this girl to ruin the book for me, no matter how curious she was.
“Do you always want to know what happens next? Don’t you like anticipation?” I said.
My words were finite and concise. I did not expect her to speak again. Usually I finish arguments before I start them.
“Everyone likes anticipation, don’t they? Even if they don’t want to admit it. But you have to find out eventually. You can’t keep something in anticipation forever.” She said.
Her voice had an underlying sprinkle of playfulness that caused all that she said to bring a small smile onto my face. Strange. I hadn’t smiled in quite a long time.
“Why not? There aren’t laws of anticipation. If I don’t want to know something, I don’t have to. I can just keep wondering ‘if’.” I said.
Her eyes narrowed further as if confused, but her smirk quickly returned.
“What if what you find out if something really good?” she said, her smirk widening to a smile.
“What if what you find out if something really bad?” I said, her smile shrinking back into confusion.
I began to open my book, wanting to return to my page-turner and assuming that I had defeated the girl in our verbal combat.
“Isn’t it worth the risk?” she said.
“Is anything worth the risk?” I said, “Why take a chance on anything if the outcome can be bad? It doesn’t make sense.”
“But life doesn’t make sense.” She said.
“Come now,” I said, “Don’t “but life” me. Life isn’t something you can simply define. People think that they can slap labels on life all that they want by making statements like “life isn’t fair” or “life is beauty”. Life is not for us to understand. That’s what makes it life. Maybe life is fair and life is not beauty.”
“But the fact that you can say all of that means that life isn’t fair. Life just doesn’t give away its secrets to anyone who asks or is confused. Life’s secrets are revealed to us when we least expect it.” She said.
The girl began to stand up. I looked around and saw only the cold winter air around me. I was alone. I looked down at my book and tried to remember a time I wasn’t reading. Whom had I last talked to? This girl… she was all I had.
“Wait!” I yelled, “Tell me more.”
The girl looked at me, her smirk prevalent on her features.
“I’ll tell you all you anything you want to know.” She said.
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140,084 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
hello
happy reading/writing!
i really liked the begining of your story actually. I loved the way you described the feeling of a page turner and the suspense and excitement of the whole thing. I thought it was great because i get those exact feelings when in the middle of a good book. By having a begining like that i immediently could relate to the character and therefore wanted to read on.
The dialogue between the two charaters was good too and i liked the way you used direct opposite to enfore the idea that they really did not agree "what if you find out something really good?" followed by "what if you find out something really bad?" etc.
The only criticism i have is that i think there was a bit too much dialogue.From reading your first paragraph I think you have a really good ability to discuss how humans relate to things (like a good book) and perhaps you could have wrote a bit about that between dialogue? just a suggestion.
Good job though
Howdy, John!
To start off, the intro to this story wasn't very catching. You went on about the main character thinking about turning a page, and talking about what she thought of cliff-hanger sentences. Honestly, this isn't something that will get me hooked on a story...it's not very interesting. I was somewhat curious about his/her surroundings. Where are they? Why are they reading a book outside in the cold and wind? Are they at a bus stop? What's going on around them? And finally, who are they?
The story continues with dialogue between this random girl and the main character, debating about anticipation. I still find it's random and uninteresting, and what is the main character thinking about this? Some girl starts talking to you about not turning the page quick enough, and what do you think? There's not much depth or thought from the main character.
Overall....I find this story really random and a bit confusing, haha. The introduction needs something hooking to it to keep the readers. I think there should be more depth on the characters...what they think, the physical things they are doing while talking, etc...and a little less of the dialogue.
Good luck, and keep writing!
--Arris
Hey there! Interesting work.
Language:
Everybody has a style of writing that suits them best. For some it's simpler, some it's more complex. Some people command the english language as easily as you or I would link paperclips and others can make the most heart-wrenching stories even with a childs vocabulary. You've got to go with what's natural to you though, otherwise it's like splicing two random styles together. I say this because your style of writing is quite casual, like the way you would talk if telling a story to a friend, except there are random less-than-casual words thrown in here and there that look really out of place. 'Vigour,' 'deter,' and 'relish' are the first three examples that come to mind. It seems like you've put them in to sound smart rather than naturally using them.
Subject...
... is a peculiar one. You spent the entire first paragraph talking about turning a page in a book. I think it's a bold thing to try, but like with language, you have to really feel it and let the words come naturally. Turning a page is a simple action, there's only so much you can do unless you pour out a huge dollop of introspection, and this is something you haven't done at all. I like the way you've talked about the 'primal uncertainty that plagues human beings,' but then you haven't led on from it. I'd love to hear more of that. Where did the thought come from and where are you going with it?
Overall:
I like what you've started to do with this piece, but I'd love to hear more from you. It seems to only skim over the surface of something that could be very deep and thoughtful. Be bold, and don't be scared to put whatever comes to mind straight onto the page. I can see the footnotes of a great mind in this, let's see more of it!