LIFE

Hi J, here as promised~

You had a pretty good vocabulary at ten years old, and a very mature mindset. Not a lot of kids, especially that young, really have such strong opinions of such controversial subjects. Things like "life" and "pain", and even throwing one's life away through drug use and alcoholism are really tough subjects, even for adults, to deal with. That's awesome that you were able to draw those conclusions at such a young age.

I'm not going to mess with this too much. The only thing that's really wrong with this is the lack of punctuation and the abundance of typos, but, as you said, you wrote this a while ago and left it like this on purpose. I would encourage you to edit this and possibly turn it into a blog or an essay!

Probably my favorite part about this was when you said everything about how ridiculous it is that people would just throw their life away, while in reality life has so much to offer, even when it's only the little things they're able to appreciate. I think a lot of people should hear that message.

Never give up on writing; if it's what you love, than don't stop for anything, no matter what anybody tells you.

Yours,
Sav

Hiya! Biluata here for a review, and since this is the first comment on this piece, I suppose I will do grammar this time instead of the feels. It looks like you have some spacing problems, I don't know if the format got screwed up or what, but, here we go.


"Why will someone say that life is about money,I just don’t know why because wealth can’t buy you happiness,love or peace the only things money can bring is problems and fake friends." - I would replace "will" with "would" and end the sentence after money replacing the period with a question mark. Then off course, a space after the comma after happiness.

"The phrase”life just a game” means that life can be fun,enthusiastic,it can make you happy but also sad a I say ll of this because most of your emotions towards a game is the same emotions you use in your everyday life but it’s not all a game because all games a fantasy so don’t life as if it were a game for the consequences may be great so open up your eyes and wake up and be real." Okay, comma after phrase and a space, comma after game, replace the comma after fun with an and, since it is only two items, it doesn't qualify as a list which you would use the comma for. Also, end the sentence after enthusiastic. The part, "a I say II" doesn't make sense, I think it's a typo.

"It's the feeling when someone or something hurts you.As for the phrase “life is full of pain”it’s said by those who have or being hurt in their life and don’t know how to handle it so they turn to drugs,alcohol and in some cases death by taking their own life,people can be so stupid why will you want to take your only life that allows you to feel the breeze on a warm day at the beach with your friends and family,the taste of a home cook meal and the fragrant of your special someone perfume or the smell of spring flowers." - Space between the period after you and the word as in the second sentence, comma after phrase, comma after pain before the quote mark, and a space between the quote mark and it's. Space between the comma after drugs and alcohol, space after the comma after life and before people, comma after stupid, replace fragrant with fragrance.

"At the end of the day all I can say is to make a Conchos decision on what you want your legacy to be after your life has come to pass" I think you want to replace Conchos with conscience.

Other than that, very nice work, I don't know if your format got screwed up, but watch out for run-on sentences, commas, and spaces.

-Biluata