Young Writers Society

I think this is a beautiful piece. It makes me feel uneasy, because I wouldn't want to be put in such a situation!

Great writing. Cheers!

Hi! Pentavalence here with a review.

So it's pretty hard to review this piece, because it's pretty short. However, there's still a lot of depth to it and I'll try to do the best I can.

You tagged this as a short story, but the way it's written and also the length seem more poetic than prose-like to me, but that's just personal opinion.

I think there's too many paragraph breaks here-- I would condense it into three paragraphs of

"It took her forever before she reached the core of the maze.

Her heart racing, her knees wobbling, her whole body trembling, she took a left turn, but yet another puzzle welcomed her. For a moment, she wanted to scream for help, yet there were no evident chances of anyone hearing her. With tears flooding her swollen eyes, she went straight ahead, still hoping that the end would be nearer than she'd hoped...

Only to find out that she was yet again, led back to the center of the labyrinth. "

(Note that I also combined a few fragments into longer sentences.)

And, uhhh, yeah. I don't really have a problem with the emotions or content of the piece. I think it could use a little more detail, but I can understand the work fine without it.

I think this could make a nice short story if you expanded it. That's all.

Pentavalence out.

Thanks for sharing this exceptionally short but exceedingly significant flash fiction. True, on the surface, the story might appear too brief to be of great significance. But appearances can be deceiving. A short story of this kind can have a deep metaphorical meaning and serve as a symbol for a truth, and this one is no exception.

On the surface, the story's intention seems to be to merely convey the feeling of despair and frustration involved in being trapped and repeatedly frustrated. But it can be also be understood as a representation of the struggle that humans sometimes face against insurmountable odds and the desperation and isolation felt whenever everything attempted as a solution just doesn't seem to work and the feeling of being led maliciously astray kicks in.

Suggestion:

....maze[,]her heart racing....

....hoped[,]only to find....