Young Writers Society

This has a lot of meaning. I get that the mind could be deceiving, I've been there, and lovers are deceiving, but I think it was a beautiful twist when you wrote that the heart was the most deceiving of all. This is an inspiring piece of work that holds a lot of truth and I understand how so many branches of love and emotions can fool you. I wish more people could see this because this would open people's eyes to what it means to love and like. It's dangerous, but we succumb to it so easily and I think that's what you're trying to convey right? This is a masterpiece and bless you for writing such an inspiring piece of poetry. You have talent, and I think you do an amazing job at letting it radiate off of your work. Keep up the amazing work!

Thanks for sharing this very enchanting story. Very interesting introduction which draw e reader right into the story. The conclusion reminded me of the many biblical verses which warn us not to trust our heart or our emotions.

Jeremiah 17:9

New Living Translation
"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

....as she [journeys] a little bit closer, she came....

....she came upon the fact that....

....word appeared to be a lock to which there was no key.

Very good piece. I have never been good with romantic stuff, especially with reviewing it. But you did a good job conveying different thoughts and emotions. Word usage was spot on and the imagery was strong. The themes were very good as well, although one cannot really negatively review something like that as they are so subjective, but you don't have to worry about that!