Young Writers Society

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem!!! the starting of the poem was good. the thing that attracts the readers is the rhyming part. Its an amazing piece!
Good work!

Hi Hamza, what an absolutely beautiful poem! It's very worthy of all the many comments below. Your poem is very polished with great language and amazing imagery I like how in the end it says the "craving hearts" to include the breeze, moon, and nightingale.. so it makes it seem like even the breeze, lake, and stars have a heart that might crave the night.

Not only is your poem beautiful, but original, I applaud you and look forward to reading much more of your work in the future!

~alliyah~

Great job! I love how you use your figurative language which is vital in a poem. This was a beautiful poem and made me think the moon as something beautiful. I don't really have much to review on because it a-maz-ing!

Wow,this is such a beautiful poem
I love the way you put in personification, alliteration.You really used the literary devices to your advantage
great work,you could really get an image of the scene

Keep up the great work!

Hey there! Here to give you a review of this poem:

There isnt much to say that hasnt already been said.

This poem made me smile the whole way through!!

Its beautifully structured, conveys the theme of the poem pretty well.

I'm not a poet. I love to write but for some reasons poetry doesnt come to me So I am in no position to criticize you.

There's nothing much to criticize about in this poem anyway.

"As the bright moonlit night leaves, the craving hearts say,
"Forever-long, wish the aura would stay this way."
- My favorite lines in this entire poem!!!
Well that being said, I only wish it was a little longer.

Keep up the good work!

Good job!!

-Divz

I love it:) Its beautiful. Well written. I love the imaginary of the poem. there is nothing wrong with this poem. I loved how you described the moon. Good job:D

Hey, Haz! Isha here to review (finally), as requested.

Gosh, I don't think that I have a whole lot to say about this, honestly. It's very well done, as far as I'm concerned, and I loved the old-fashioned feel. I don't know enough about the mechanics and technicalities of poetic verse to judge iambs and rhythm all that accurately, so I won't even bother getting into that.

On the other hand, the imagery was stunning. The first three lines were my least favourite, and I can't exactly put my thumb on why. They just sounded... too common, in light of the rest of the poem. However, the forth line of the first stanza, I liked. The first lines should be something to draw the reader in, and I wound up skimming past the first stanza, and then through the second, where:

The stars blush and put on veils.

Great poem!
First let me say this stanza of the poem was my favorite:

As the moonlight embraces everything,
The stars blush and put on veils.
Silently, the lake keeps on smiling,
With breeze, the perfume of night sails.

It has such fantastic flow. Also let me congratulate you on having no grammatical errors that I could see.

The only issue that I have with this poem are the last two lines. I'd say that the poem works just fine without them. It actually flows a little better too without them, but then again that could just be me.

Great job and keep writing!

Hey,

First of all Welcome to YWS (again) and for starters I think this poem was comparatively good. Have you heard of the saying "Short but sweet" It totally applies on this poem. The way of description and the theme was just great.

Coming to the Rhythmic structure of the poem, it was great too but it faded at some parts. The poem didn't go like 'in a flow', I must say there wasn't any punctuation mistakes (as per my observation) So great job done there!

Well, I don't think I was much of a help here but anyways just know that if you ever need any help you can always ask. If this was you're first poem then way to go bro! Keep writing and good luck for your next work!

-Umaima

Wow! I love it!:) Its beutiful. I know I'm just repeating what a bunch of other people already said, but I especially like the imagery in your poem. And how you found a way to so accurately describe the beauty of moonlight.

I really enjoyed this poem for a variety of reasons. One, I really liked your wording and your rhyming in it -- it flows well. Secondly, I also enjoyed your use of imagery in it, it made it feel like you were there. Although, I feel like the ending was a bit odd, since it didn't flow well. Other then that I thought it was amazingly well done.

This is a very good sonnet. I enjoy the imagery in this piece. When you read it you feel the calm I think you were trying to bring out. I love the last line, it was something new and has a lot of whimsy. However I do think you should reformat the last two lines. It just feels out of place when you have two long sentences at the end of 3 stanzas of short sentences. If you broke up the lines, your poem would flow better.

In example,

As the bright moonlit night leaves,
the craving hearts say,
Forever- long
wish the aura would stay this way.

That was just a suggestion. I would also look closely at your commas, they don't all seem necessary. Don't feel compelled to punctuate the end of every line, or capitalize the beginning of each. I really did love this piece, I would love to read more of your work.

I really liked the imagery out into this poem, I could just picture it all and feel the slight breeze. It took me a while to realize that you had also rhymed this poem I was so stuck in the night. Lots of good personification in this that seems to also make the night come alive while staying calm and serene, this was wonderful. Especially the "stars blush" part, loved it! Although the white dress bit was a little confusing, I eventually caught on, the dress is the moonlight right? Your poetry is just wonderful, if only it could somehow be turned into a melody, I would listen to it again and again, sit back and relax.

I really liked the imagery out into this poem, I could just picture it all and feel the slight breeze. It took me a while to realize that you had also rhymed this poem I was so stuck in the night. Lots of good personification in this that seems to also make the night come alive while staying calm and serene, this was wonderful. Especially the "stars blush" part, loved it! Although the white dress bit was a little confusing, I eventually caught on, the dress is the moonlight right? Your poetry is just wonderful, if only it could somehow be turned into a melody, I would listen to it again and again, sit back and relax.

Wow! This is absolutely wonderful.

I honestly can't see anything wrong with this. It's written very nicely and I like the story that it tells. Great imagery as well. I can really picture the scene in my mind.

Hello! Like I've said to you previously, I'm not really a poetry person, so bear with me here—I might be repeating the same general stuff the other reviewers said.

I really like how you imagery and personification here. It really does paint the picture in my head nicely; I can almost take a deep breath and smell the calm, sleepy air of the night.

If I had to give some input, I think the word "everything" in the first line of the second stanza feels out of place. I think a more colorful word like "the moonlight embracing the sleepy earth" or something like that would be more suited, but again, I'm not a poetry person, so maybe it's just me.

Keep on writing!

Loved the first four lines..what a start!

As the moonlight embraces everything,
The stars blush and put on veils.
Silently, the lake keeps on smiling,
With breeze, the perfume of night sails

I quite enjoyed this. Your choice of words here is very good. It displays a beautiful night with a lake and moon and stars in my mind. I don't think I can make any amendments here as I don't do poetry. Yet i still liked it very much. The last line was my favorite. It totally fits an ending. There's a good flow to it too which makes it easier to read and understand. You're a good poet and I bet you'll do just as good at writing stories once you get the hang of it. Keep at it.

Even though I dint know a lot about poetry I still love to read it. I thought this has a good flow which drew me and kept me reading.I personally love the moon and stars at night and this poem captured it all in a good way.
This poem is even soothing to me kind of like a lullaby whispering me to sleep.
A very enjoyable poem to read I think.

Good luck writing and above all have fun

I love the descriptiveness in this poem! It puts to words perfectly the way that i feel about the moon and moonlight and nighttime in general. I like it much better than daylight. Most of the time its not even dark, because once you stop convincing yourself its too dark and let your eyes adjust, its actually very beautiful, how everything seems stark and silver and the shadows are much deeper. everything is quiet and the world is sleeping. I love it!