There has been a creativity epidemic spreading through the country for years, affecting everything in its path, from clothes to architecture. There are even campaigns to include the arts in the educational system (as if kids are not annoying enough already). The artists are taking over our country and I, for one, am outraged. In order for a country to function well and intelligently, it needs order and structure, not colors or music or dance. So, for those of you who are tired of creativity getting in the way of true intelligence, I have created a set of methods to get rid of these pesky artists once and for all.
First, we could ban color. Color sparks creativity, so banning it will make it harder for artists to find inspiration. All of the buildings could be simple, grey structures with no decorations to distract the mind from more important matters, such as improving education. Clothes could all look the same as well. And to fix the problem of seeing colors in the environment, we could simply remove the part of the brain that sees colors. Or, better yet, we could just make everyone blind to eliminate paintings, drawings, and other forms of traditional art as well as colors.
Next, we could ban dancing. Have you ever observed someone dancing? It is ridiculous and there is no logic in it. Although many may argue that it is an expression of one’s self, and it makes a good workout, there are much easier ways to do that. If you want exercise, go out for a run; it is easier than dancing and you will look less ridiculous. And why would anyone want to “express themselves”? You are irrelevant. It is your intelligence that matters to us. Anyone who breaks the “no dancing” rule could be paralyzed to prevent them from ever dancing again.
Next, we could ban the very thing that inspires dancing: music. I simply do not understand why people enjoy music. It is noisy and irrelevant. There is simply no need for music, so why have it? All it does is create more noise in an already loud world and inspire people to “stand out”, which is completely idiotic. Children and teenagers would become more obedient if they did not have musicians brainwashing them into thinking that they should be different and rebel against the things they do not like. Also, they would be much more focused on their education without the distractions of music.
You may be thinking, “How can we get rid of music entirely if almost any sound can be made into music?” Well, I have the solution: simply make everyone deaf. If everyone is deaf, then no one could make music, and if they did, no one would be able to hear it. And since no one would be able to hear anything, the brain would eventually forget sound and music, leaving more room for education.
Once the many distractions of art are eliminated, we could use the senses we have left to focus on becoming a more orderly and intelligent nation. Of course, that may be difficult considering everyone would be blind, deaf, and possibly paralyzed, but no matter. A truly strong nation would be able to overcome these small inconveniences and it would prove our intelligence and strong will to other nations. And possibly, when they see how effective this plan has worked for us, they will adopt these methods into their justice systems. The whole world would be run by vegetables, but at least we would be smart vegetables.