The Beggar Boy

by InfiniteRectangles

Published December 29, 2015

In Short Stories

Many centuries ago, in a vast desert, there lived a young orphan boy around the age of 10. He was very poor and had earned the title of “The Beggar Boy” by the desert locals. Every day he sat on a street corner with a tin cup and a sign that said “Homeless: Please Help." Most of the locals ignored him, threw rocks at him, some spit on him and called him a “worthless harami (bastard)”. However, no matter how badly he was treated, every day he returned to the same spot and sat with his cup and his sign and waited. Most days he received nothing, but every once in awhile someone would pass by and offer him some bread or toss a few coins into his cup.

No one knew the boy, or where he had come from or even why he was alone. All they knew was that he was a Hazara boy in a land full of Pashtuns, and for that, the boy was outcast. He couldn't do anything about the way he was born, yet they tormented him anyway. The Pashtuns viewed the Hazaras as filthy animals, and forced them into a life of subservience. Many Hazaras left when this happened. They moved on to better places where they had more freedom, but the ones that couldn't afford to leave stayed, and among them was the Beggar.

One day, a young man approached the boy on the street. The boy instinctively shielded his face with his arms and prepared for whatever torment the man decided to give, but none came. Slowly, the boy moved his arms away from his face just enough to see that the man was smiling at him. When he knelt next to him, the boy flinched and scooted away. What is he planning? Several seconds passed before the man finally spoke.

“Hello,” the man said in a warm, confident voice.

The boy looked at the man more intently now. He was tall and light-skinned with high cheekbones and a cigarette protruding from a mouth hidden by a thick dark-haired beard. A Pashtun, the boy thought with increasing panic. The man reached over and gently shook the boy's hand. The boy remained silent. “What is your name?” the man asked calmly.

“Akhtar Sharif,” the boy reluctantly replied. “Everyone calls me the Beggar Boy, though.”

The man smiled and said, “Well, Sharif, my name is Jalil and I have a job offer for you.”

The boy stared at the man now, his mouth dangling open in shock.

“It isn't much, but it will get you off the streets and put food in your stomach.” The man examined the boy's tattered clothes that hung loosely to his starved body. “I'll even get you some new clothes.”

The boy thought for a moment before asking, “what will I have to do?”

“I need a new servant,” the man explained. “My previous one was too old to continue working. I try to help out as much as I can, but I am a very busy man and my wife needs someone to help her keep the house clean.”

The thought of serving a Pashtun disgusted the boy, but seeing no other option, he reluctantly agreed. “Great!” the man exclaimed. “Come with me! I will get you some food and some proper clothing and you can get to work!”

***

After Sharif was fed and clothed, he was led to a kolba behind the main house. “This is where you will stay,” Jalil explained. “Every morning you will report to the house to eat breakfast and help Aziza tend to her morning chores. Then, you will do whatever she has you do next. When I return home from work, we will have dinner. Then, if you have any chores left to do, you will finish those before going back to your kolba. Understand?”

Sharif nodded. Jalil had not spoken with malice, but instead took on a gentle tone toward the boy. Sharif had never had a Pashtun be nice to him before. Now he was serving one who only spoke to him with kindness. It made him suspicious of Jalil at first, but when Sharif could find no hint of any ulterior motive, he relaxed some.“Welcome to our home,” Jalil said, placing a hand on Sharif's shoulder. “I really hope you'll like it here. I know that Hazaras tend to be wary of Pashtuns, and I can't blame you for that, but we will treat you well, Sharif.”

Sharif looked up at Jalil with tears welling up in his eyes. Maybe I can be happy after all. I may be a servant, but at least my masters are kind to me.

Tashakor, thank you,” Sharif cried.

Jalil squeezed Sharif's shoulder gently and smiled down at him with a smile so comforting it melted away any doubts Sharif had left. “Get some rest,” Jalil said. “You can start in the morning.”

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Dracula
Review
Dracula wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2015

Greetings, InfiniteRectangles! I am here to review on behalf of Team Monkeys!

This might as well have started with 'once upon a time' because it sounds just like a fairytale, or something you'd tell to a child as they drift off to sleep. And I looove those kinds of stories! You have an awesome writing style.

Hmm, having not read the second half of this story, I will give my untainted opinion on the first half. I find it odd that the boy returned day after day to the same spot, even though he was mistreated, and then reluctantly went with the man when offered a job. Surely he was hoping something like this would happen, and should have been happy when it did. Otherwise, why would he have kept going back? That's just something that confuses me a little bit.

It made him suspicious of Jalil at first, but when Sharif could find no hint of any ulterior motive, he relaxed some.
Jalil squeezed Sharif's shoulder gently and smiled down at him with a smile so comforting it melted away any doubts Sharif had left. “Get some rest,” Jalil said. “You can start in the morning.”
Yes! You did not disappoint, everything is explained. I am no longer confused, and have no more nitpicks. Your characters are so complex, and it was great to have Sharif's character change in such a short piece. This is a heart warming story and was a pleasure to read. Thank you for writing it.

Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate it :3

User avatar
hyperview
Review
hyperview wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2015

Yo, Infinite!

Can I just say I think you should experiment with short stories more? This was pretty good and interesting to read, and I had a hard time finding anything to be critical about. I mean, even though you were mostly telling information rather than showing it, it didn't feel overbearing at all. Each line seemed to serve a purpose and helped the story progress while providing information to allow readers to understand the story rather than sit in confusion.

Don't get me wrong, the story could be ten times better if you had shown too. For example, instead of telling me "he was very poor", describe his tattered clothes, dirty mat, greasy hair, and maybe grime stuck under his fingernails and toes. This shows me Sharif is poor without you having to say it, you know? With showing, you've got to pick which information can be easily shown and which would be better told. As an example, you did a wonderful job telling me about the dispute between the Hazaras and the Pashtuns (there's limited room to show that, really), but things like 'he was very poor' or Sharif being disgusted by Jalil's offer can be shown. I hope I made some sense there. :P

Also, this line here struck me as a little odd:

Most of the locals ignored him, threw rocks at him, some spit on him and called him a “worthless hamshira (bastard)”.


I think the list can flow a lot better by simply adding 'and' between the comma and 'some'. c:

The only thing I have left to ask is if this will be continued. I would really love to read more about Sharif, his background, who he is as a person and what brought him to this state. Great job on this, really. If you've got any questions or would like me to clarify anything, don't be afraid to ask! Have a good day/night. c:

Thank you for your input. I will work on showing more instead of just telling. Also, I was thinking about continuing it of anyone showed interest in it, and now that I've gotten good feedback, I think I will. I will let you know when/if I post the continuation.

I have decided to go the prequel route for this next one. Please let me know what you think! Born A Harami

I'll do so soon. Thanks!

HolographicLadybug wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2015

Greetings and happy review day! Holographic Ladybug here for a short review!

~Nit-Picks~

Every day he sat on a street corner with a tin cup and a sign that said “Homeless: Please Help”.

I'm not quite sure if a beggar would bother to put a colon on his sign. You've probably done this for organizational purposes, but it was just a thought.
Also, the period should go inside the quotations.

“Great!” The man exclaimed. “Come with me! I will get you some food and some proper clothing and you can get to work!”

'The' should not be a capitalized word. You've done this one other time not far on in your story that you should fix as well.

~The Good Bits~
This feel so complete. You've left me with no questions and no other things to really think of that you've done wrong. (You're making this hard for me ;) ) You started off very well with a more fairy-tale-ish vibe, which brings back memories of one of my guardians telling me stories by my bedside when I was five and couldn't sleep. They told me stories of Photoshop scams, unicorns, and market-er, sorry, I've gone off track.
I've got nothing else to really say other than great job and never stop writing!

~Holographic Ladybug! :)

Thank you for the review. I will make sure I fix those mistakes. Happy review day! :3



You don't need to follow me! You don't need to follow anybody! You got to think for yourselves!
— Brian Cohen