Epilogue…
Around 2 hours later...
Dr. Geiermann was looking outside a window on the far right of the asylum. The sun had started to set, and lay harsh shadows against the dead forest. Leaves were brushing around in the wind, dancing and swirling until the gushing wind had stopped. The sun was bright as it sunk down past the Earth from his view. No one else was roaming the hallways and no other sounds were being made. He was all alone with his thoughts. Up until a blue flume of smoke appeared behind him, and a familiar tricolor glow was seen. Dr. Geiermann let out an annoyed sigh before turning to look at his son.
“Have you come to apologize yet?” His face grew dark.
“For what?”
Dr. Geiermann groaned before responding, “Never mind.”
His son giggled and promptly rested his arm on his father’s shoulder, “But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”
His father turned back around to the window, “What do you want of me, Vincent?”
“Oh, nothing, nothing! Just about those kids. So when they come back around and buy the place, who’s gonna look out for the tourists?”
“What exactly are you to get at here? Such as…” Dr. Geiermann trailed off, flitting and turning his hand about to get the right words, “Vous cherchez les touristes pour qu’ils ne nous voient pas?”
“Exactly!” Dr. Vincent snapped his fingers and moved his head away. He started floating around, tapping his finger on his chin, wondering, “So, who exactly do you think would be good for that?”
“Why are you asking me?” His son cut him off in a flash.
“Of course, you would be perfect, perfect! Thank you, thank you!” He gave his father a swift hug, and just as he appeared, he was gone once more.
Dr. Geiermann was left there to ponder what had just happened to him (again) and question what his son had gotten them all into. All he could for now, is stare back out into the now nightly dark woods, and wait until next week.
End of chapter
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138,662 Literary Works • 672,197 Reviews
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the mutated S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - The asylum is open to the public! The tourists just have to respect the property, and all will be fine…right? I mean, what’s the big deal about a haunted asylum anyway? It’s not like anything will happen…
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - This is fine, I like this epilogue.
Chocolate Bar - I like how it’s almost uncertain as to what the fate of the ghosts and the kids will be after the asylum has opened up to the public. Tourists will most certainly spread the existence of the asylum around, and who is to say that the ghosts will rest peacefully?
Closing Graham Cracker -A nice, spooky epilogue to end things on. I see that you posted the backstories of Vincent and Clyde, I’ll be sure to check them out.
I wish you a fantastic day/night! :>
Hello! Ley here to leave a short yet hopefully helpful review on this epilogue :3 I saw this sitting in the Green Room, so I thought I'd get it out of here! I haven't read the parts before this, so I'll mostly just be commentating on word choice, the flow of dialogue, and my first impressions of the characters. Let's get into it!
The description here was everything! You did an awesome job of putting me in the scene. I especially loved the description of the wind: the "dancing and swirling" was a great way to describe it, and it actually came off quite artistically. Awesome job here!
So first impressions of this relationship: the father seems a bit.. monotone? Which isn't a bad thing at all, I actually relate to this character a lot. He also reminds me of those dads who deal with way too much everyday, so they just want to come home and relax. Forgive me if his character is portrayed differently in the other parts, as I'm just getting this little snippet. I'll probably go back and review the previous parts before this very soon!
Love this ending. Perfect way to wrap it all up, without giving away too many details. I also got from this that his son can be trouble, or just very outgoing, which I could definitely tell by the dialogue.
Overall, the dialogue was smooth and consistent, I couldn't find any major errors, and you definitely have me wondering what the rest of the parts consist of! I definitely need to check those out! I hope you're having a lovely day, and stay awesome <3
With Love,
Ley
Hi there, friend! Ellie here to leave you a review on this lovely piece of yours! Let's jump right into the review and not waste any time!!
^^ Absolutely love how this begins. This entire paragraph is filled with details like 'dancing and swirling' and 'gushing wind' WOW! Epiccc, I seriously love how you wrote this. Right from the start, we are introduced to some characters, but also the scene is set up very well in an engaging way.
Nice work establishing a clear and consistent tone for both the father and son roles here
And we have a nice ending to this introductory epilogue. I like how you described it as "nightly dark woods". This is an elegant tone and I love the way it sounds. Please tag me when you post the first chapter, because I would love to be a reviewer for this story!
Keep writing and awesome work!
Your friend,
Ellie
the first part is already posted actually, lol! you can find it on my profile now
Oh my goodness%u2026 my brain mixed up the words prologue and epilogue XD I am so sorry LOL
its fine dude dont worry about it! i actually mixed them up too when first started writing this until a friend pointed it out HEHAHEVRH