The Wolf- Chapter 2: Home

by Ilium417

Published March 20, 2021

In The Wolf

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@BEASTtheHUN @MapleWay 

He woke up on his worn blue couch. His neck ached, and his stomach twisted and churned. He slowly sat up, groaning with the effort. He realized that he was incredibly tired and thirsty. If he wasn’t in such discomfort, he’d lay back down and rest again. The sun was shining through the back door, and the brightness hurt his eyes. Each time, this happened. Each time, he awoke painful and sore. But each time, he went back for more.

Wait a minute. How’d he get here? He had fallen at the parking lot of the bar. Did he somehow find his way back and didn’t remember it? Or did someone pick him up and take him home?

He heard footsteps from the hallway and he turned to see who it was. From the hall came Emily, her yellow backpack slung over her shoulder. When she saw him, a brief flash of anger crossed her face. She stopped and glared back at him with tacit fury.

“Hey Emily,” Chad said quietly.

“Hi,” Emily responded bitterly. “How was the bar last night?”

Her words struck him like a whip across the face. Anger swelled up within him. “Why, did you want to come too?” he asked, his voice rising.

“No, but I was all alone here!” Emily yelled. “You were gone, like you always have been!” She spun and ran out the door.

For a long time, Chad just sat there, too sad and angry to move. What she said was true- he was gone a lot of the time. Probably too much. But she just didn’t understand. She didn’t understand that sometimes the only way to deal with your problems was to run away from them.

He felt guilty for what he was putting Emily through. For four years, his best friend had been the drink in his hand. For three years, his only friend had been the drink in his hand. He had left Emily for the bar because her life would be so much worse if he had stayed.

She’s better with me gone, Chad decided again. I’d just make things worse.

He stood from the couch and walked to the hardly-furnished kitchen. They only had a fridge that barely worked, an oven, and a microwave. He rarely used the oven and microwave. The fridge held all that he felt he needed for the day.

He retrieved a can of beer from the refrigerator and plopped back on the couch.

While popping open his can, he turned on the TV and watched the news.

“If you’re just tuning in, there’s been a new mystery in town today,” the attractive reporter said. “A young woman, aged 23, was attacked last night. Early M.E. reports place the time of death to be around 12-2 a.m. and the wounds were similar to a wolf’s bite. Other wounds also resemble a wolf’s claw marks.”

Chad raised himself on the couch. A wolf attack? That was interesting. Almost interesting enough to get his mind off his grief. He continued listening, more intently now.

“No wolves have been found and there are no wild wolves in the area,” the news reporter stated. “There are also no wolves in the city zoo. Police are thinking that this is a disguise to a more elaborate murder. Here’s Officer-” Chad shut the TV off.

A wolf attack. Or a murder? That would need to be one elaborate murder, to make it look so much like an attack by a wild animal. He wondered how something like that could be possible.

The doorbell rang, hurting his ears. “Coming!” he yelled to the door. He planted his arms on the edges of the couch and pushed himself up. I’m leaving the couch too many times, he thought grumpily. He shuffled to the door, hoping that the person at the door would be gone by the time he got there.

The doorbell rang once more. It’s insistence bounced across the house. “I said I’m comin’!” Chad shouted again. “Man, can’t you wait?”

He looked through the eye-hole and tried to prepare a berating for the person at the door. There was no one there.

“Huh?” Confused, he opened the door. There stood Lucien Wilkes.

“Hi, Chad Dunham!” Lucien hailed. “How are you, friend?” he stayed in the doorway, making no move to walk in.

“Um, hey… man,” Chad replied, forgetting Lucien’s name. “I’m perfectly fine. What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?” Lucien asked simply, completely ignoring his question. Whether he did it accidentally or by design was anyone’s guess.

Chad scowled and nodded. Stepping aside, Lucien strode in. Chad closed the door and followed Lucien.

“I asked before and I’ma ask again,” Chad spoke. “What are you doing here?”

Lucien had grabbed a beer and now lounged on the couch with his eyes closed blissfully. “I’m here to check up on you. I was about to leave the bar when I noticed you passed out in the parking lot.”

Chad’s green eyes widened. “So you brought me home last night?” He had thought that he had just journeyed home last night and didn’t remember. He was surprised that a random stranger he had just met would bother to take him home.

Lucien grinned unabashedly. “Yes, I did. It wasn’t that hard because, well, you were passed out most of the time.”

Chad would’ve laughed. But he hadn’t laughed in a while. “How’d you know where I lived?” he asked curiously.

Lucien faltered for a small moment. “Oh, um, you told me for a moment when you were awake.” He glanced sideways at Chad.

Chad’s face was painted with the suspicion that he felt for this man. Although he now knew his name, he didn’t know much else of Lucien. He seemed to be a friendly person, but other things were still very confusing. He determined that he would figure this guy out.

Chad picked up his beer and sat next to Lucien. This had to be handled delicately. Sadly, he was not a delicate person. “What’s your name again?”

Lucien felt his face flush with anger. “You don’t remember? My name is Lucien Wilkes.”

“That sounds French. You from France?” he interrogated.

Lucien opened his eyes and bored into Chad’s with a hint of coldness. “Yeah. My family moved to America when I was young. Can we get back on track? I have my first job for you.”

Chad picked at the couch. He wanted to ask more questions but Lucien obviously wasn’t going to answer any more. “Yeah, I guess. What- wait, what job?”

“Remember at the bar last night? Our deal? You do jobs for me and I help you with your problems?”

Chad probed deep in his mind. “Ohhh. I remember now.” He took a long drink of his beer. “But you haven’t helped me with anything. So why should I help you?”

Lucien was silent for a long time, intent on studying the wood patterns in the table. Eventually, he answered. “I helped you by bringing you home last night. That was only the beginning. Now will you do this favor for me or not?”

Chad stood up harshly. “No. I would’ve gotten home one way or the other last night. If that’s the only help you’re gonna offer me, then you can just leave. I can help myself.”

Lucien calmly gazed at Chad, unfazed by his rage. “Chad, I will help you. I promised that and I will follow through. I always follow through. But I need this favor.”

Chad marched toward the door and threw the door ajar. “Leave, Lucien. Until I see some real results, you are not welcome here.”

Lucien simply smiled at Chad. He got up slowly from the couch and strolled slowly toward the door. Before he left, he put a hand on Chad’s shoulder and gazed into his eyes. His light blue eyes radiated friendliness. He stayed there for a few seconds then slowly shuffled out.

Chad slammed the door after him, then slid down the door and put his head in his hands. It’s too early to be up, he thought tiredly. Too much action for one morning to handle.

“Tonight, Chad. Tonight, you will see what I can do. And I will be back.”

Lucien? Chad rapidly got to his feet and threw open the door, expecting to see a certain Frenchman crouching behind it.

No one was there. Just the empty street of a dark neighborhood.

Chad carefully shut the door once again, then peered through the peephole.

No one came to the door. He waited there a full five minutes, and all was silent.

I’m just hearing things, Chad at last decided. I need my drink. My friend.

He trudged back to the overused couch, slumped into the cushions, and drank until he passed out. 

Comments & reviews · 13
User avatar
Kaia
Review
Kaia wrote a review Review · Apr 8, 2023

I feel like there's just a little less description in this one. Place description is good, but again, I feel physical description is a little lacking. At least I would like to know more accurately what Chad and especially Lucien looks like. Maybe not just with what they physically look like, but also what they are wearing. Clearly, it's modern day...or at least somewhat modern day...but I'm curious...Lucien is an interesting character...does he also wear interesting clothes, too? Just a thought...

I also got confused when you wrote "For three years, his only friend had been the drink in his hand." I didn't understand why you wrote "four years." And then "three years." Am I supposed to be confused and you're going to explain later?

Lastly, I think you should add more description of Emily. Is she Chad's wife? (I'm trying to make sure I'm understanding this right. I'm a pretty bad reader...)

But, overall, I like your writing! (Sorry if my review seems a bit harsh. I promise I don't mean it that way! You've got some sincere talent with place description--something I personally struggle with)

Thanks for sharing and happy writing!
-Kaia

User avatar
SageOctober
Review
SageOctober wrote a review Review · Mar 26, 2021

I read the first chapter of this, and was very intrigued. I like this one as well.

The main thing that I think is off is that maybe Chad should have a hangover, since it seems he was really drinking last night. Perhaps he could have a headache or something (I don't know much about hangovers). I do think that it's quite realistic that he doesn't remember much about the night before.

Another thing is that Chad passed out and fell onto a really hard concrete surface, so maybe he should have some bruises, maybe even some scrapes. If he fell face first, maybe Emily would ask him about what happened to his face, as he might have a broken nose or something.

But on the whole, a great chapter! I really look forward to reading more!

Thanks for the input! (Being sixteen and a Christian, I don't know anything about hangovers either but I'll look up what they are like XDD)
I totally forgot about the whole face-bruise thing! Thanks so much!
Peace and Tacos be with you!

Kaia replied · Apr 8, 2023

I was thinking the same thing about hangover, lol!! Not that I know anything about it besides what I learned in my A and P textbook, (lol) but I thought it would be a realistic detail to add.

User avatar
BEASTtheHUN
Review
BEASTtheHUN wrote a review Review · Mar 22, 2021

I like this chapter a lot. Almost just as much as the first one. I emphasize almost. Still, nonetheless, let's get to it. The characterization is incredible. I get the character of Chad coming through this text a lot. I like the name Lucien. I looked it up, and it is another way of saying Lucifer, the devil in the Christian religion. Is Lucien the devil? Anyway, Chad and the way you describe his drinking habits is quite interesting. The imagery is awesome. I think you started the chapter out bumpily but picked up momentum as you went on. I like this chapter a lot, and the direction you are going. Tag me on the next chapter, please.

Thanks for the review! I'll work on the beginning of the chapter :D

User avatar
MapleWay
Review
MapleWay wrote a review Review · Mar 21, 2021

Hey there! MapleWay here with a quick review!

This was a cool extension of your story! I helped develop the situation more and was overall amusing. My favorite part by far has been whenever Lucien is around. I sit here on my computer trying to find out his secrets. That is my favorite part of your novel so far, the mystery.

Anyways liked this chapter a lot! And if you still don't know how to tag me all you need to do is after you post copy the link and post it on your wall along with @MapleWay etc. If you need me to be more clear plz say!

Thanks for the review!
I think I got tagging now, thanks for that too :D
Peace and Tacos be with you!

Peace and tacos are with you too!

MailicedeNamedy wrote a review Review · Mar 20, 2021

Hi Ilium417,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

Your first paragraph and the next one sum up in a very good way what happened in the first chapter without giving too much and long a summary.

For four years, his best friend had been the drink in his hand. For three years, his only friend had been the drink in his hand.


I don't quite understand here why you repeat the sentence twice, only with a different year. Either that's a mistake on your part and you forgot to delete it or you wanted to rewrite it and forgot about it?

I'm leaving the couch too many times, he thought grumpily.


I would either put thoughts on a new line or write them in italic so that the reader doesn't realise halfway through the sentence that it's a thought from Chad. I thought at the beginning that you suddenly wanted to change from the neutral perspective of the narrator to a first-person narrator.

Lucien felt his face flush with anger. "You don't remember? My name is Lucien Wilkes."
"That sounds French. You from France?" he interrogated.


I always pronounced his name in English. :D Nice of you to specify. Now I can call him Lücien. :D

He trudged back to the overused couch, slumped into the cushions, and drank until he passed out.


You end the chapter very well and give the reader the feeling that something is suspect.

The chapter turned out well. You kept your style and I also had the impression that you improved in some parts. In terms of dialogue, I think you were already very good in the first chapter, and now I think it's even better. You can already tell who is doing the talking. Chad, always with that rather aggressive manner, and Lücien (:D) with his calm and considered businessman's language.
The only thing that is not yet clear to me is Emily. Is she Chad's daughter or his girlfriend? I haven't found a direct passage in the text now that implies that somehow, as I think she could be both for her brief appearance. I'm more guessing his girlfriend, but can you give me some clarity on that?

One thing I noticed briefly about chapter 2 is that it has a title and the first one doesn't. I would change it so that it has a title. I would change that so that the first one also gets a title or remove it from chapter 2, otherwise, it seems a bit weird when some have a title and others don't.

I really enjoyed the chapter and hope you continue at your level in the chapters to come.

Mailice.

Thanks for the review! It was very enlightening!
(And the first chapter did have a title, "The Deal", but I forgot to include it. It might be a good idea to remove the titles to be honest XD) Thanks!

ForeverYoung299 wrote a review Review · Mar 20, 2021

hey.
Foreveryoung99 with a review.

Each time, this happened. Each time, he awoke painful and sore. But each time, he went back for more.


too much each time. Even if it is intentional, I would suggest changing it.

Or did someone pick him up and take him home?

I think it should be took him home... please re-check this one. I myself is a bit confused.

For four years, his best friend had been the drink in his hand. For three years, his only friend had been the drink in his hand.

what do you mean by these? it seems a bit vague.


Almost interesting enough to get his mind off his grief.

i deduce it will be at least instead of almost.

“If you’re just tuning in, there’s been a new mystery in town today,” the attractive reporter said. “A young woman, aged 23, was attacked last night. Early M.E. reports place the time of death to be around 12-2 a.m. and the wounds were similar to a wolf’s bite. Other wounds also resemble a wolf’s claw marks.”


hmm... it's becoming interesting.

Chad marched toward the door and threw the door ajar. “Leave, Lucien. Until I see some real results, you are not welcome here.”

toward will be towards and welcome will be welcomed.

He got up slowly from the couch and strolled slowly toward the door.

same case. towards.

He trudged back to the overused couch, slumped into the cushions, and drank until he passed out.


what do you mean by passed out here? I need clarification.

overall

it was quite good to be honest. It's getting interesting. I can smell mystery here. And maybe, there is a connection between lucie and that wolf murder. It reminds me of a story of sherlock homes. although, I have forgotten the title.

It was an enjoyable read. Can't wait to see the next chapter. can you pls tag me? I commented down how to do that.

User avatar
Ilium417
Comment
Ilium417 commented Comment · Mar 20, 2021

(I don't know how to tag, I'm sorry, I tried at the top of the page but it didn't work).
This chapter isn't nearly as good as the first, so rip it apart! Give it back to me in pieces :D
Peace and Tacos be with you!

@Ilium417 that is not the way of tagging. you have to tag on your wall. at first copy the link of your chapter then post it on your wall along with the usernames of the people you want to tag with a @ before their names as you have done. Did u understand?

Yeah I think I got it. Thank you for the review btw!



october smells like being ten years old and not scared of anything
— dissonance