Young Writers Society

hey hey, Ducklin here for a review! Let's get started, shall we?

"In a land not far away, in a time that wasn’t quite that long ago, there was a knight, a lady in waiting and a milk maid."

I'm gonna be honest here if this Is the first line of a blurb for a book I pick up I think it would be a children's book or a bedtime story to try to make it more intriguing.

"The knight was a well-known chivalrous, brave warrior, with a heart that longed for the companionship of another person.

The lady in waiting was that companion imagined by the knight, but who – unfortunately – had loved him in the past as well, and no longer saw him in the same light."

This part does grab my attention it's a good description for both characters and makes you want to find out what their past love life was or what they have together.

Overall this is a pretty good book blurb so well done! That's all for this review.

Keep safe and keep on writing,
Greetings
-D.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okay...well, as far as blurbs go, this is definitely one that would get my attention right away and it doesn't look like there's too much off with it save for a couple of tiny nitpicks I had but uhh...more details on all that down below.

Anyway let's get right to it,

In a land not far away, in a time that wasn’t quite that long ago, there was a knight, a lady in waiting and a milk maid.

The knight was a well-known chivalrous, brave warrior, with a heart that longed for the companionship of another person.

The lady in waiting was that companion imagined by the knight, but who – unfortunately – had loved him in the past as well, and no longer saw him in the same light.

And then, there was the milk-maid.

but that's another story altogether.

Surrounded by danger, involved in plots to overthrow the king and assassinate his family, with almost no hope for survival in an oncoming war, one young woman looks for love in a world that has only ever shown her hate.

This is a fiction story based off of true events about a young woman, an older young man, her love for him, his love for another, bad decisions, worse reults and an impossible unrequited love doomed to fail.

Hey there, Ikrantsyip!

First off, this sounds quite exciting. You should definitely post the chapters on here. Lots of YWSers add them in installments as they write--you'll find we're an excellent community of beta readers.

I think this is a quite interesting blurb. There's the misplaced comma here or there, but overall it's intriguing. I'd love to hear more about it--which is your intended reaction, of course. The plot arc is also nice, as it follows both the personal lives and the larger plot of the story at once and equally--often, personal conflict is put off to the side as a subplot, which I find extremely off-putting. When the main character isn't fighting for his/her life, what is he/she thinking about?

Anyhow, I quickly want to mention one thing to stay away from: these blatant mentions of personality traits, for example, "the knight was a well-known chivalrous, brave warrior". This may be true, but leave that to your readers. Stating this outright is almost like a challenge--like, 'I may or may not be lying, just read it and tell me if I am'. Some of this plot, I must say, seems a bit cliched, but I haven't read the actual story, and I'm assuming (hoping) you present it in a novel manner, one that I would enjoy reading. I'm sure you will, as you seem a gifted writer. When this comes out, please PM me. I'd be glad to take a look.

I think you'll find YWS just the kind of community you need right now. We're more than happy to assist you in these kinds of long-term endeavors, and many of us are engaged in them ourselves.

Keep writing and don't forget to be awesome,
IronSpark

I’ve never been a fan of Historical Fiction because the abundance of descriptions in those books bore me. However, your blurb pulled me in. It’s simple and, yet, has captured my interest. Though it sounds like any other classical book, it’s still original because you have added your own twist to it, e.g. in that quirky opening sentence. I like that you chose three contrasting characters in terms of their statuses, and it seems as if I’d really like your story. Let me know when you post the first chapter.

This sounds really good! Sounds sort of Princess Bride-ish to me which is so cool

Hello!

I find it rather difficult to review just the blurb from your novel but I'm going to try anyway.
I adore fiction writing so your story instantly caught my intention just by the first sentence.
"In a land not far away, in a time that wasn’t quite that long ago, there was a knight, a lady in waiting and a milk maid."
It has the classic beginning but with a bit of a twist.
You also successfully introduced your characters. You kept them simple yet interesting which made me want to read more.
You also gave us a bit of the plot. There's a hint of adventure mixed in with love combined with a true story! I can't wait you start to the post the story.

Keep writing!
-Sabrina