Hiya!
So I was not expecting this to be about Avatar, but here we are.
Hey that rhymed!
Which brings me to my next point.
The rhyming in this poem is forced. You don't have to rhyme in poems. When poets rhyme things, they say something like, "hm, what rhymes with X?" and then they try to cobble together a line that has the rhyming word in it but still has a semblance of sense. But sometimes, it doesn't make sense. Or the way they word it is awkward. This is what we call forced rhyme. And it is not good. Most of the time, a poem is better off if it doesn't rhyme at all. Make sense?
Although the references to Avatar are pretty unique, the content of the poem itself isn't much. It's been done before, it's cliche. There are hardly any solid images or sensory details. I don't actually feel like I'm there (which is what I should be feeling) with lines like, "see the wonder, adore the beauty" because that doesn't actually show me the wonder or the beauty. I can't see it, because you, as the author haven't shown it to me! That one line, however, is not the only happening of this. It's all throughout the poem. I suggest that you read famous poetry, or the poetry of people like pompadour or pocket or even my poetry, to see what I mean about using solid images. You learn so much from reading other's poetry, it's amazing!
This is a really good poem though if you're just beginning to write poetry. c:
I hope this helped somewhat, let me know if you have any questions!
Keep writing! You'll get better and better!
~fortis
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