Hi again!
Okay, so the first paragraph, you use the word "it" very generously to the point where I am starting to long for an actual noun. Especially here:
The light it radiated spread gradually across each subject in its path; it lit the earth for all to see. It showed the flowers in all their colour and revealed gems of dew on vibrantly green grass blades. It shimmered on water caught in a web and it woke the weaver from peaceful sleep.
There are five "it" words that refer to either the sun or light (though the words "sun" and "light" seem to be used almost interchangeably). I would probably play around with the sentences more and see if you could find some other way to reorganize the sentences so that you don't have to use the same vague sentence structure.
It showed the flowers in all their colour and revealed gems of dew on vibrantly green grass blades.
This doesn't seem as lyrical as some of your other lines! It seems weirdly passive. I would probably go for bold here. For example, just muddling about on a conpute,,,,
The soft sunlight brushed the flowers so that they sprang up, their colors blazing, to meet the dawn. The green grass blades held the dew just right so that when the sunlight struck it, the dewdrops shone and sparkled like a diamond.
(Or something like that? I DO NOT KNOW. Play around with it though!
)A cloud gray rabbit twitched its ears in wary search for predators and victuals both.
For some reason, it almost reads as if the rabbit is going to eat the predators, since you pair predators and victuals together, lol. Anyway, I would probably separate the ideas further from each other
From treetop the tapped racket of a woodpecker rang out over the scene, dominating the crescendo of music composed by resident avians.
I am sort of sad you didn't describe the tapping noise that a woodpecker makes. It is a neat and unique sound!
Sound slowly penetrated through where the light had not entered and woke the remaining dozers from rest.
Instead of saying "slowly penetrated" I am almost tempted to say that you chose the wrong word... maybe something like "crept" since it kind of implies a penetration of sorts in a slow way.
...okay. I probably need to go to bed at this point. I shall review the third installment... soon!
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