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Sunrise After the Rain

by Ichthys


A yellow sun rose leisurely into the heavens, illuminating the previously dark skies filled only with a handful of stars and a sliver of moon tossed mindlessly into the air. It painted space with warm tones and shades, brightly emphasized in the morning sky. The light it radiated spread gradually across each subject in its path; it lit the earth for all to see. It showed the flowers in all their colour and revealed gems of dew on vibrantly green grass blades. It shimmered on water caught in a web and it woke the weaver from peaceful sleep.

Slowly the world rose, awakened from its slumber to a brilliant morning. A cloud gray rabbit twitched its ears in wary search for predators and victuals both. A beetle climbed silently over a leaf, knocking off dew and rain to the muddy floor. From treetop the tapped racket of a woodpecker rang out over the scene, dominating the crescendo of music composed by resident avians. Sound slowly penetrated through where the light had not entered and woke the remaining dozers from rest.


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23 Reviews


Points: 8
Reviews: 23

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Tue Apr 13, 2021 12:23 pm
Ducklinstories wrote a review...



hey hey, Ducklin here for a brief review!! let's get started, shall we?

I have to start off by saying that your talent of describing things in a way that makes the reader feel something is amazing?! If that makes any sense to you.

Although I don't see this as a novel, more like something lyric so u may want to change the range u put your work in.

"A beetle climbed silently over a leaf, knocking off dew and rain to the muddy floor." You may consider changing floor to ground since I think that we are outside.

For the rest I really don't have anything to say, it was amazing!!
Keep on the good work and keep writing,

greetings
-Ducklin



Random avatar
Ichthys says...


It makes sense to me, don't worry!

I put this in the Novel category for the "/ Chapter" bit, because this is the second piece of its kind and I plan to write more.



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75 Reviews


Points: 10507
Reviews: 75

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Mon Apr 12, 2021 5:57 pm
hannah0528 wrote a review...



Hello Ichthys! @hannah0528 here for a quick review. Hope it is helpful!



Grows:
"The light it radiated spread gradually across each subject in its path; it lit the earth for all to see."

I didn't really understand this sentence at first. Maybe switch words around a little bit?

Glows:
H o w do you do this? Like, how? It is amazing! Keep writing things like this. I noticed that you marked this as a novel/chapter. Is it going to be a story of sorts, or just a series where you write things like this? Either way, I am excited to see more from you. I can't choose my favorite sentence, but I really liked this one:

" From treetop the tapped racket of a woodpecker rang out over the scene, dominating the crescendo of music composed by resident avians."

I loved it! Keep writing things like this, reading it is like hearing music! Have a good day! I hope to hear more from you!


Sincerely,

@hannah0528



Random avatar
Ichthys says...


I'll try to see what I can do about it.

This is actually my second installment. It's a small series I started to write short scenes both for more relaxing writing and for practise. All the action scenes can wear on me a little.



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5 Reviews


Points: 75
Reviews: 5

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Mon Apr 12, 2021 4:59 pm
PaigeFantasy says...



hi, wonderful job!
i think you used amazing descriptions. for example; "Slowly the world rose, awakened from its slumber to a brilliant morning." is great for a description!
please keep writing like this, i believe in you.
i hope you have a good day. :)





Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.
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