There has been many days I've almost
went thought with my plans of ending
it all. But i am afraid of hurting,
the people that love and
care about me.
The temptations
are so hard to hold back when you
are in so much pain and sick of all
the suffering.There have been
many times I've tried to end it all. One of
the main reasons I never went
through with it is because I don't want
all the people who love and care about
me to be the ones to suffer and be
sad, if I did end up ending it all. I just
rather be the one suffering than others to be suffering.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,030 Literary Works • 672,904 Reviews
Amazing work
___________
This is very relatable, the emotion is amazing.
correct punchuation
here-
me to be the ones to suffer and be
sad, if I did end up ending it all. I just
rather be the one suffering than others to be suffering.
Try to start a new line for where the commers/full-stops are,
because this makes me a bit dizzy.
Or make it a small diary? Might be good.
This reminds me of a bullied teenager's diary who feels really depressed.
Does this relate to you?
Thank-you for sharing this masterpiece see you later
-Nelly aka Neko-
i wasn't getting bullied at the time i wrote this but i was extremely depressed
This is an incredibly powerful piece that a lot of people can relate to. this can relate to the people who try but are always shot or turned down. lot's of people can really relate to this piece, it is powerful, it sends a message and people who face this kind of problems everyday , some of them end it some don't and that is because they believe enough to see the greater good.
the title is strong it though it is short it sends a message for example it makes the reader wonder why was the person lost it intrigues and some how allows the reader to get lost into the poem, to be able to empathize and sympathize with this particular writer, this poem is an inspiration to those who are constantly bullied everyday and those who bully.
but the fact that the person didn't end their life because of people who they love, shows that love is so strong that it can overcome doing things that are wrong and will hurt to the people they care about.
This is an incredibly powerful piece that a lot of people can relate to. The fact that you kept yourself from ending it because you didn't want anyone to be hurt is very noble and really speaks a lot about you as a person. I hope things work out for you and those you care about. Pour yourself into your poetry and your writing as you did here and not only will you continue to create something inspiring and beautiful out of something so awful, but it should also help you cope. It helped me.
~ElectricSkies
thanks
everything is going good now it took a long time and there was a lot of heartache in the process. in the end it was worth it because i wouldn't be who i am today.
I am so glad everything worked out! I'm really happy that you have a positive outlook about it!
That is a really strong poem. Your emotion is incredible!
thanks
Wow...I wont lie because this is really really sad and a bit depressing. But, with the sad and negative view of it kinda makes it a bit more touching. My favorite part seems to be "The temptations are so hard to hold back", really gets me in the chest. Anyway, there's no need for any change except try to paragraph it a bit properly...and i look forward to reading one similar to this again.
thanks for the feedback!