Screaming

While the poem was fairly structured, and the contents were all right I find the theme very interesting. That some people expect others to realize their pain; their constant mental discomfort, and to see the origin of this pain. Although such is seldom the case.

Introvert people often have this constant inner monologue, which they just assume that everyone can hear, which, like I said, is seldom the case.

Talk, for the love of Zion. Talk!

Keep writing!

Hullooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Guineapiggirl here to review!
This is an interesting piece. You've expressed very well the pain of the narrator. It is excellent.
However, that is about it. That's all you've done in the poem. It's a good poem with good grammar and an idea well expressed but I found it boring and uninteresting.
Basically, I think that you're pretty good at writing poetry but that this subject matter wasn't especially interesting.

And no one hears.
No one notices.
Am I a ghost?
A phantom?
Can they not see me?

Or tell that I'm hurt,
That I'm in pain?
Can no one hear me?

In a way I quite like the echoing effect here, but at the same time it feels a bit much.

Again, I quite like the last verse... but...
I don't really know what it is about this poem that I don't like. I think it's just how it's quite boring. All it's about is this person who is screaming on the inside and no-one's hearing her.
I just didn't find it interesting.
But I thought it was very well-written.
Sorry to have not been able to be much help...

That was good

Hi there HorsebackWriter.

I am GeeLyria and I am here to review for you.

I like your piece. It's decently written and I am sure a lot of people can relate to it. Okay, so I'm not going to critique the wording or the rhythm on this one, what I want to talk about is appearance. We all know that judging a book by its cover is not wise, however that doesn't keep us from judging it. A long piece with no spaces/stanzas is like a skycrapper without windows. Just like being in a dark building without oxygen makes me desperate, a poem without stanzas makes me run and scream, mainly because we need space to think about what you're telling us and breathe. I think this suggestion would help you improve greatly! ~Just make sure you don't cut a sentence in the middle.

And that's my grain of sand. Hopefully, I expressed myself correctly. However, feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Keep writing!

~GeeLyria