Wow, you've managed to draw me out of my reviewing cave, which is, admittedly, impressive! It's only happened 25 times in my two year stay here, so good job on you! I make sure I only leave reviews on things I'm genuinely interested in and feel I have feedback on because I don't want to take a work out of the green room with a review that isn't very interesting or informative. So I've been watching this for a while now and it just slipped my mind, butttttt this came to the literary spotlight once again and I decided to finally dive in deep to this poem because why not? Bear with me as my thoughts splatter across the computer screen in an illogical and random order.
So into the actual review: I'll dive into the actual lines in a minute, but the first thing I'll note on is the format, which I LOVE. I have no idea what program you used to create this, but it's brilliant. There are so many small and hidden details that you've thrown in there that I absolutely love. The first that I'll point out is at the very top in the tab, it shows you as searching the synonyms for ME of which there are zero results. This really shows the uniqueness of the poem and the author because there really isn't a synonym for a person. Nobody is going to be similar enough to correct or replace someone, and I love the message behind it.
Secondly, the title is great. I've looked at this work and its title numerous times, and only just now realized the only letter you don't include is 'o'. There's no significance behind that, but I just thought you left out random letters, when in actuality you left out one specifically, which means you likely spent time picking out those words in the title specifically so you could leave one single letter out and it look broken, just like the keyboard (which is a lovely metaphor for life and people in general, by the way.)
In the search bar, we see that you've typed in "lve letter frm a brken keybard", but in the actual bulk of text, the thing you're searching for synonyms for is "love letter to a perfect website." I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but I love the idea of someone using thesaurus.com because of their broken keyboard, and they're searching in vain for words that don't include the letter they can't use. This entire poem within itself is brilliant (as I've said many times already XD) but I especially like that detail.
Now the next part of the format I'll note on is the different versions of the sentence you could be searching for. The first is listed as a noun and states
her attempt to decipher this
This is an interesting detail in part because an attempt is a noun, but it's focused on a verb. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's an action-oriented noun, which I find smart, particularly in relationship to a love letter. I personally write letters to very select celebrities when I feel so many emotions surrounding their performance or writing that I have no other way to work through my thoughts than to write it all down. I've never sent any of the letters and to give you an idea of how rare it is that I do it, I've only written around five in the past five or six years. I really only do it when my thoughts are completely hyperfocused on them and I can't move on emotionally without writing everything out. This concept, in relation to a love letter, is something that I love to think about because writing feelings down is a common coping mechanism for trying to sort out your own feelings. That's not really feedback, just my thoughts on it.
The second version of the sentence you're searching for is listed as a noun and states
meaningless jargon on a computer screen
Here's the brilliance of this, in my mind. While that is one way to look at a letter, it is not the lens you have chosen to look at it through. Otherwise, that tab would be clicked on. It's a conscious choice on the writer's part to not look at it as meaningless jargon, but rather, something meaningful that even if they don't send it, is helping them work through their own emotions. Brilliant! Brilliant I say.
Okayyyy it's been long enough, so now I'll move on to what I consider the actual "body" of the poem (I use that term loosely). I'll likely go a few lines at a time and stop to note upon things I find particularly interesting and just give my thoughts on it all.
So I'm going to go into the format of the body text for a minute (I'm sorry, I got your hopes up too soon!) The first thing I notice is that everything is lowercase. It gives a simple meaningfulness to the poem that I really enjoy. The next thing I'll point out is that you seem to almost purposely leave the ends of lines open-ended so they lead into the next line. The true endings are in the middle of everything, and all the ends aren't really ends at all. This is a nice detail that really makes the whole thing flow, but in a disconnected way that truly fits with the story of a broken keyboard and the careful fingers that are typing on it. Now into the actual lines:
dear thesaurus.com, my love, i didn't mean to
neglect you this week, i just thought i could
make my own synonyms for a change,
but i was cockynceited (adj. self-assured) to think
i could fit words to definitions that i can't put my tongue on.
While I don't usually review lines in such chunks, I thought it better to take a full sentence and not cut any lines off from each other so I can see the connections in all of them. I also couldn't copy the highlighting of texts while I'm quoting but I know in my brain that the cocky/conceited is highlighted in orange, which I like so I'll probably mention that when I get to it. So first off, we see that the website the writer is writing to is thesaurus.com and the first thing they do is apologize for not using it that week. They were confident that they could find synonyms on their own, but then they self-identify as "cocky". This is corrected as "conceited" by thesaurus.com, which is an interesting change because while both are used in a negative connotation, cocky sounds like they are full of theirself, while conceited is given as "self-assured" by thesaurus.com. The change is subtle, but there is a difference between the two. Even if they're synonyms, they are not synonymous, and I really do enjoy the subtle difference between the two. The sentence that correction happens in is "i was cocky to think i could fit words to definitions that i can't put my tongue on." which is absolutely brilliant because while the writer is saying "I was stupid to think I could do this without you" the website is not only saying "yes, you were" but "you were not just stupid, you were ignorant." The website is proving the writer's point within their own sentence, and I love that as a concept. The concept of not knowing the definition of a word but vaguely feeling it's correct is also one I can relate to as a writer. I read obsessively as a kid, and there are many words even now where I'll say it, pause, and go "that feels like the right place to put that, but I don't even know what it means."
i swallow too many emotions that i don't know the names
for and you can always tell me thenameepithet (noun. title given to something, someone)
of my indigestion, while i just lick my lips to savour the sour resentment.
First off, just at a first glance, I love the phrase "savour the sour resentment." I'll dive into the meaning behind it in just a minute, but I just wanted to point out that I love it. Okay, so the concept of swallowing back emotions is the idea that you are pushing back your emotions in an attempt to be logical, which ties into the love letter idea in an interesting and lovely way. Not knowing the names of emotions can mean that a person isn't in touch with their emotions, which might be due to constantly pushing them back in an attempt to be logical. The idea of the website (which I suspect is really a metaphor for a person, but let's not get into that yet), something so logical and straight-forward, being able to diagnose what emotions are causing you to feel sick is so interesting. When I think of a website personified, my first thought is cold and analytical, at least for a website like thesaurus.com. That's certainly not how I would personify all websites, but with thesaurus.com, it definitely feels logical and balanced and cold. This would explain a sour resentment on your lips, and the idea of savouring it feels both sarcastic and bitter. Why should a website (or a person) so cold and analytical be able to diagnose what you're feeling like a new-age Sherlock Holmes when you have to struggle with them in the messy process that always accompanies something emotional? It isn't fair, and it makes sense that the author would feel bitter and resentful about it.
i guess i'm so used to beingunreliabletreacherous (adj. not trustworthy, not true)
to myself that i wanted to break your loyalty
before you had the chance to.
I didn't want to cut this line off in the middle of it, but I noticed that might be my only chance in the whole stanza to break it up, so that's the reasoning behind that decision. Okay, so the first thing that just jumps off the page at me is the HUGE leap from unreliable to treacherous. (This website really is the toxic side of this relationship, isn't it?) Unreliable is forgetting to do the dishes when told to. Treacherous is a purposeful decision to betray someone, which it is clear that the website or person believes the author is committing. The beautiful (and sad) part of the line divide means that this could both be the author being
because my pencil
lead snaps when i try to write and the bits of graphite
lodge under the t button of my keyboard: my brokeness
infusing into the first letter of you.
Again, I'm breaking this off because I need to tackle smaller chunks, not because it's the best place to break it up. XD Soooo I will say that 'brokeness' is spelled wrong, and I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but if it is, it fits the word accurately, so I like that decision. The beginning phrase of this is obviously a continuation of the earlier line, which makes sense because I had to split in the middle of a line. The because is a justification for the earlier phrase of the stanza, and they continue with the actual explanation by saying that their lead snaps any time they try to write without the keyboard. By avoiding the keyboard and through it, thesaurus.com, their 't' button is now stuck, and their brokenness "[infuses] into the first letter of [thesaurus.com]". Their brokenness is inherently connected with thesaurus.com and the person it (may or may not) represent, which means the brokenness was actually caused by it if you can trace it back to that. The website (or person) has been very passive-aggressive through all the corrections so far, and the idea that when the person tried to escape them, they ended up getting more hurt in the process is the sad reality of abusive relationships. It can often end up harmful for the person trying to escape, which is a sad message I'm definitely picking up on from the piece.
but i should've known that
you'll always have a better vocabulary than me, that you can
always tell me i'm not lost (adj. missing, off-track) with you,
just lingering in the torn-up space between the filled lines
of one notebook and the desolate sheets of the next.
So first off, this is all beautiful imagery and I absolutely love all your choices for words in this. So far, we've seen the author feel guilty about leaving the website, and we've also seen the website angry that they did leave and not forgiving them. Now, the person is continuing their guilt and talking bad about theirself in an attempt to get into the better graces of the website again. They state that they should've known that their vocabulary couldn't compete with the website, and that the website will always say that the author isn't lost with them because the website isn't lost. Lost is often used as a quirky and sweet term for not knowing your place up, but not generally used in a negative context unless a person is literally lost (like not knowing where they are physically.) This person isn't on a quirky and wandering journey with the website (person), the website says, they are just on their own. They're stuck between one finished story and one that hasn't even started yet (whether this be a metaphor for writing or their literal life story) and they don't know where to go or how to start the next chapter of their life. The website is saying that the author is completely on their own and lost (not in a good way) without them there to guide them. (This is really starting to feel like manipulative behavior.)
you lift my chin and tell me i am not broken, just mutilated, and leave me
with aslappat (noun. hard hit, often with hand) on the cheek.
WOW. What a POWERFUL two lines you have there! Geez, I got chills! So with all I've already established, this is just brilliantly sad. The website is clearly more than just a website, and it's really just a vessel to represent a toxic and bad person in the writer's life. After correcting things within their love letter (which can be viewed as a metaphor for gaslighting, including changing your perception of past events or your own feelings), they correct the actual thing that they were searching for (changing their life goals/purposes to fit with their own needs). They say that they are not broken (quirky but fixable, negative connotation but not a dark term), they are JUST mutilated (torn apart with no chance of repair, pieces of their heart and soul scattered everywhere; a hurricane has torn through them, and they have no chance of surviving without the hurricane to guide them). I love the usage of "just" before mutilated, because it makes the point that the term "broken" is better than the term "mutilated" by pointing out how it's higher, then saying they have not reached that height.
Then, they leave them (you left me? I'll leave you!) with a
Wow. So this may be the longest review I've ever left
~Winter <3
JK this poem is amazing and I don't know how I'm going to critique it, but it's been relegated to the Green Room long enough, so I'm here to rescue it. Let's dive in... 
Points: 5175
Reviews: 33
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