Young Writers Society

whatcha <3

I've been eyeing this for awhile, and I finally decided to give a go at reviewing this. I have no clue how this is going to go xD but I'd still like to try! also, I didn't proofread this, so excuse any spelling errors cx

Okay so first off, this is what-the-heck-awesome. If I remember correctly, you were designing this lab in a pad once, and I asked you about it? I think what's cool about that is you didn't set out to make a lab to turn it into poetry - you found poetry in something totally random, and I seriously admire that about you! This is an absolute masterpiece and omgg, it makes me so happy whenever I read it. I think I'm going to start with my overall interpretation of the piece and then talk about specific sections c:

I, of course, have no idea the interpretation you had in mind when you wrote this, but I understood this piece as the "restrictive expectations" that society places on individuals. It's constantly trying to "contort" people into the way it likes it because it doesn't want you to "relax back into your natural position" - that's not the way society likes you, and therefore they'll even go as far as "taping you back into place" so you are their version of perfect. The "graph paper and a pencil" additional comments further supported my thought; by saying "each line must be precise, straight, and parallel + and perpendicular with the rest" it seems as if you're saying that each person (line) has to be exactly the way everyone else wants them to be. The "with the rest" part makes it seem like each person has to match up with every other person in society. You have to line up with everyone else and be precisely the way they want you to be.

And the grey cursive text is the teacher/professor, right? So what I got from this is that the student has been overcome by expectations society has put on them and is going to let those expectations rule their live. But the professor is like "hey, no, you don't have to live by their rules. you're perfect just the way you are." and stuff like that, which I'd like to save my thoughts for when I get into specific sections :p OKAY so I hope my overall interpretation wasn't too far off from what you had in mind xD but even if it is, I guess that's the beauty of poetry ^^ on to some sections! c: so for the first part, I'm going to go Roman numeral by Roman numeral under "materials" and "additional comments."

i. a sunny day

Okay so this part is an example of what led me to the professor interpretation

the type where light and warmth bounce in waves and rays through the air - uncontainable

I interpreted this part as, you don't need to stay contained in one tiny box and be limited to what others want you to do. You can "bounce" freely, do whatever you want, live your life the way you want it, because you are "uncontainable" - there is no box that you are supposed to stay in. And even if society placed limits on what you can and cannot do/gave you a box to stay in, you don't have to stay in there at all. Because you are uncontainable. And you also mentioned "light" and "warmth," and I think there's a certain comfortableness you feel when you are not afraid to be yourself, and thus you've found the light that couldn't have been found in your little box.

ii. five sheets of construction paper; white, red, green, blue, and black
because the tangle of colour must be controlled and unraveled into something sleek and tangible and comprehensible

Okay so this to me is the professor reflecting on those expectations that are placed on everyone. The colours represent the person, perhaps the student in this case, and their personality and all of the things that make them, them. But everyone else is like "hey, you don't look the way we look like. we are just made of one colour, and you over here are made up of all sorts of shades and colours. this isn't acceptable." And then they'll proceed to untangle the beautiful mess that makes you up and "unravel it into something sleek and tangible and comprehensible" - shape you into something that would make you look like everyone else. Composed, understandable, and not different from everyone else - their definition of "normal." Ooh also, the "comprehensible" part brings me to this thought; "if we can't understand you, then there's something wrong with you. we hate what we can't understand, so we're going to mold you into something that everyone will be able to understand so you won't be causing any problems."

iii. tape

Tape to me represents limits. Maybe it's the modern world's "foot binding." It seems like, this tape is going to restrict what you can and cannot do. Like literally applying to tape to someone to restrict their movements, and therefore, they won't be able to do anything of real value or importance, or what other people deem "not normal." Or perhaps you're not actually taping someone - my other thought was that "caution tape" at a crime scene sort of thing, or a construction spot. For the trim scene interpretation, I thought maybe it's saying "watch out everybody, this person is a weirdo. don't go near them, that's dangerous." Or if it's at a construction zone, it's like "this person is still undergoing their transformation into the perfect person. please don't go past the tape because they may be unstable or dangerous since they haven't finished their metamorphosis into our standards." Hopefully that makes some sort of sense? xD

If the page cannot stay how you've shaped contorted it, don't let it relax back into its natural position; tape the fibers into place

Okay so I saw this as the student thinking that the way society shapes you into becoming what they want is a pretty normal thing to do and is acceptable. I thought this because they used a word "shaped" which doesn't seem to have any negativity attached to it. But the professor replaces the word "shaped" with a more dramatic word "contorted" which seems to have a negative connotation attached. And perhaps he/she is saying, "it's not all right for others to contort you into the way they want. you are free to be whatever you want to be." It's like the professor is trying to teach the student a lesson through their lab. And also, here we see the tape you mentioned before, the tool that is being used to mold people and keep them from relaxing back into their "natural position," their beautiful self <3

iv. five thermometers

Okay so one thing I noticed is your use of the number five I may be reading into this too much, you may have needed five for the sake of the experiment haha. I did a quick google search just to make sure I wasn't saying anything incorrect, and I've found that number 5 is the number of humanity - "Human beings have five fingers, five toes, five appendages (if the head is included), five senses, and five major systems of the body."

I think it's interesting that you used a number that actually relates to humans specifically. It gives me the impression that once again, we are being told to have the perfect number of fingers, toes, senses (that can all be symbols of something else) in order to be prefect and normal. I also did some more digging, and found something pretty cool. In Chinese Culture, "people with the lucky number 5 usually tend to pursue freedom. They do not like to be bounded by their surroundings or other people." --> that's pretty neat to me because it can actually contradict what I said before, and instead represent that we are not supposed to stay in our boxes - we are supposed to "pursue freedom" and not be "bounded by our surroundings." But I think the first interpretation makes more sense since the student wrote it because the student is usually the one talking about being contained and staying in our boxes, not about being free.

I don't think you chose the 5 on purpose? I think you actually needed it for the experiment? But I think that's a cool unintentional meaning behind it c:

so that the temperature can be forced into revealing itself

Here again, I think the professor is taking a jab at the way society (I feel like I've said that word so much and it's bothering me but I can't think of another word xD) pressures people. I'm pretty sure when temperature increases, pressure increases? So I think that's neat since you are using a thermometer that obviously reads temperature xD so maybe the thermometer represents the pressure that is put on individuals, and you used the word "forced" so that makes me think of pressure as well. I was thinking maybe this line is about how we are forced by others to reveal our true nature to the world, but I kind of feel like the opposite happens; we are usually forced to push our true selves down and become another person instead. So I discarded that interpretation :p

v. a stopwatch
designed to impose behaviours and qualities upon time for the ease of consumption

Okay so I thought of this as the same thing I've been saying all along - people are always going to "impose" their way of acting and living onto you. You have to act this way, be like this, dress like this, talk like this, etc. I think your use of the word "impose" is really nice, because it has a very negative meaning

force (something unwelcome or unfamiliar) to be accepted or put in place.

So I love your word choice! ^^ I'm not really sure what to make of the "ease of consumption" part. I'm guessing that refers to the absorption of colours for your experiment? But I'm not really sure how to interpret that. As for the stopwatch, I interpreted it as there is a certain amount of time you're given to adapt to the way of living that people will try to impose on you. Or else, maybe you'll be shunned, who knows

vi. graph paper and a pencil.

Okay so I've basically given my thoughts on this section earlier, but I have three things I'd like to point out -

1.) I love how again, the professor crossed out the word "criteria" and replaced it with "restrictive expectations" to say that these expectations aren't rules or "criteria" that you have to live by in order to succeed in life; they're actually doing the opposite by restricting your movements and placing limits on your abilities. These aren't helping you by giving you a guideline on how to live your life. The "guidelines" are actually pretty harmful.

2.) "...please find a replacement..." ahh, for some reason this is so sad (I literally cannot think of a better word lol) to me. It's like humans are expendable, and if someone doesn't fit your "criteria," then you can trash it and find another one. This line is simple, especially compared to your other lines full of gorgeous imagery, but i think it's my favourite line. I just love it so much for some reason cx

3.) I'm curious on your reason as to putting a period at the end of "graph paper and a pencil." It can't be for grammar reasons, as it's not a complete sentence haha, but I'm not sure why you decided to include it. OH and I just looked back and noticed you put a period at the end of "tape" too. I'm actually really curious as to why you chose to put a period at those two spots and not anywhere else. I've never been so invested in a piece of punctuation xD

On to the procedure! ^^ Okay I know the word "procedure" is usually used when doing a lab/experiment and stuff, but I also find the word cool since it can also mean "a surgical operation." So it's like when you make your transformation into the person society wants you to be, you're undergoing some sort of a surgery, and I think that's pretty neat! I think I might be reading into this too much but I'm having so much fun omg, thank you for writing this <3

1.) Fold each piece of construction paper in half; if you create any unnecessary creases, discard the paper and try again with a fresh, seamless piece.

I pretty much have the same interpretation for this as I did with the "please find a replacement." You have to be perfect - if you've got any type of scratches, marks, or "creases" on you, that makes you not good enough, and therefore, you're going to get discarded and tossed to the side.

2.) Tape the paper shut so that it forms pockets, with only one end left open

Ooh so I interpreted this as once again trapping/confining a person, keeping them away from the light or freedom of being themselves. And with the professor's note

for the frisky nitrogen atoms

I got the idea that the one end left open is for anything "impure" or something out of the ordinary of a person/something that doesn't quite fit society's expectations to leave out of. So those frisky atoms just represent the free part of people, the one that wants to explore and find themselves and live by their own rules and just have fun, instead of staying in the little box that is drawn for us.

I don't really have any comments for the third step hehe so I'm going to jump to four :p

All your thermometers should read the same temperature. (If they don't your thermometers are broken.)

Omg I really love this part. We all have to have the same thoughts, ideas, because everyone having their own interpretation can lead to chaos. There is just one right answer, and everyone has to believe in that one idea. If you don't agree, there's something wrong with you, which refers to the broken thermometers. There's only one belief/interpretation/answer, and that's that. If you don't think so, then you are broken and dysfunctional. And yes, I agree with the professor over here c:

because disagreement is evil and there's never more than one right answer.

They basically summed up everything I was trying to say, but in a more sophisticated way xD

5. Note: Mixing colours always leads to brown and brown is a messy, impure colour

Eep I love this too. Brown is usually seen as an "ugly" colour, and not really one that is appreciated. So since a lot of people have that negative view on the colour brown, I think that's why the student also has that view and goes as far as to call it "impure," which is really sad </3 and then I love how once again the teacher tries to show the student a totally different side, the beauty of the colour brown. And you gave some really gorgeous examples. I love how you said "warm cow's eyes." It was an image that I wasn't expecting, but I found really pretty. And I loveee how you need that brown section:

Messy colours aren't bad.

Just like how people with complicated feelings and messy emotions and complex histories aren't bad. We are all super messy and complicated, and that's what makes us all so beautiful and unique <3 CAN I HAVE THIS TEACHER PLEASE HAHA

6. 10 x 10= 100. The perfect number, a combination of lines and curves to base your self-wroth off of

I think the professor is being sarcastic here by calling ten the perfect number. I think they are referring to when your looks are rated on a scale from 1-10, because of the part "The perfect number...to base your self-worth off of." And so I think this implies that everyone gets their self-worth from what other people think about them, from what other people rate them on that 1-1o scale. From what other people say about how beautiful or ugly they are (and of course, absolutely no one is ugly <3). I also think the professor took this lab as an opportunity to demonstrate a lesson to the student on how you don't need to live by the rules of other people, but how you should live the way you want to.

I don't have anything to comment on step 7, especially since we are getting to see the conclusions in the next section ^^

Colours drift...in shoe boxes

sorry I was too lazy to type it all out lol cx

WHATCHA THIS SECTION IS BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHHHH. I think in this section the professor is really just summing up all the thoughts I've mentioned before - how people (colours) are often caught by society (invasive eyes) and are stolen of their freedom. They are then forced to live a certain way and lose the freedom to "drift carelessly through the air." We shoudn't be restricted by the rules on how to live our lives. I think that's what was being said here, except in a very lovely, poetic way. AND I SUPER DUPER LOVE THE PART ABOUT HIDING COLOURFUL TISSUE PAPER IN SHOE BOXES, that's just so gorgeous <3 we shouldn't hide our true personalities but instead be the people we want to be.

but the page gives up...buried in a snowbank.

So I interpreted this as when we contort ourselves to the way people like us, we lose our true selves. Our "colours" are lost and fade away, just like you said. This section is super beautiful too. I love "fading into a limp imitation of a birchbark" --> that's such a haunting image, especially with the world "limp." And also, a large tree branch is called a limb, so I think your use of a tree is really neat with the word "limp." I really love this section <3

the page didn't ask you to touch it.

OMG SO THIS IS MY SECOND FAVORUITE LINE. It's such a simple line, but it has such a huge impact for me. To me, it's like saying "nobody asked you to get hurt/do this and get hurt by it" (that was such a poor explanation, but I'm not really sure how to phrase it oops sorry). I just think it's a super simply beautiful line

remember that if you drop water on a page of sharpie doodles, the markings will slowly ooze out into a rainbow of all colours.

Ooh, is this referring to chromatography? c: I hope that's right haha. I interpreted this as with every person who tries to portray themselves a certain way, you'll find that there's a lot more to them than you realized - they have so many different colours that have been pushed down and shoved away because showing their true selves means not being accepted in society. Everyone is made up of a "tangle of colours" and it's sometimes it's not visible on the outside - you have to do a bit of digging and find it. Because maybe it's been suppressed. Or maybe they didn't realize the beautifulness they were made up of all along

"If the atmosphere...by its own poor choices.

OKAY I SUPER DUPER LOVE THIS SECTION TOO. I think the atmosphere is supposed to represent society, and it's saying how if people don't accept you, then they're missing out on your awesomeness (that it's their loss). The world is a much colder place without your presence, so it's really bringing them harm by not acceptation you the way that you are. I love how you've portrayed society as "close-minded" and how it wasn't willing to give you a chance. I love this metaphor so, so much. It was so well done, and you've incorporated poetry into science so seamlessly, and ahhh I love it so much

I do have two questions c:

1.) I'm curious on the choice of using red pen/font for those definitions. I'm assuming it's the professor's writing since the font looks the same, but how come they decided to switch colours? Ooh wait I just thought of a reason while writing that xD is it perhaps to show that people who seem one dimensional or "gray" (the colour, not the feeling) on the outside actually have more inside of them (like with the chromatography section) such as the colour red?

2.) On the top of the lab, you have [ ]/100 and I'm assuming that's the spot where the student will see their grade. How come the professor didn't fill out that spot? Was this a rough draft and not the final copy to be turned in? I'm just curious because I couldn't think of an interpretation by myself c:

On to the final part!

Sometimes your potential...and no one can take it away.

This is such an amazing way to wrap up this lab poem. It has such beautiful imagery omg. I love "amaryllis bulb within your ribcage" like ahhhh that is such a gorgeous image??? ooh and I just noticed you said "vivid red explosion" so maybe the red colour font is supposed to tie into that lines/the overall message.

So I think this is saying that some people are just too awesome for society to accept :p Like I said before, if there is something that people can't understand, they won't accept it and might even hate on it. So people with capabilities that are beyond their understanding/beyond their reach are going to be shunned or not accepted because they are not like everyone else. Sometimes people just can't take in something that is different or not what they expected. And I think this section is trying to say that that is okay. That part of you is perfectly okay, and "no one can (or should be allowed to) take it away."

The sun would give...you aren't to blame

Um how dare you write something so amazing.

Eep I don't even know what to say about this section. I just love it so much, and I just really don't know what to say. This is my favourite section as a whole omg so much love for this part <3 <3 <3 <3 it's honestly the perfect way to end this and ahhhhhhh I love it so much omg haha

WHATCHA THIS LAB POEM BLEW ME AWAY. I super duper loved it the first time I read it, but reviewing and dissecting each part has really made me appreciate all the attention to detail. You did a fantastic job with combining poetry and a lab. This is such a unique concept and I definitely wasn't expecting to ever see something like this. You've incorporated some beautiful imagery into this, and I love how you've demonstrated a conflict and what I think is a solution to that problem. Your poems continue to amaze me <3

I know I didn't really offer any constructive criticism (I just don't have any and couldn't think of a single thing you could do to improve this) but I hope these interpretations help you anyway. This is one piece that I will never be able to forget, ever.

MUCH LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR POEMS <3