Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure

12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 9.1

by HarryHardy


Chapter 9

We Run Around in the Dark at Night

[Daisy]

Daisy rolled out of bed after yet another sleepless night. Ever since the crash it seemed like every other day something crazy happened to keep her from her sleep.

She managed to find herself at the hall half an hour later and an entire hour before wakeup where to her surprise she found Aria and Harry already waiting for her, both deep in conversation. Those two definitely learned something yesterday.

"Looks like we're busy plotting some nefarious deeds?" said Daisy, walking up to them.

"Hi Daisy," said Harry," quickly turning around. His voice dropped to a whisper, “You are absolutely not going to believe what mom told us yesterday."

"Tell me now," demanded Daisy.

"Let's get to the location first. It's safer there once we get inside the ship," said Aria, even as Harry opened his mouth to reply.

"Alright," said Daisy, nodding reluctantly. These two are going to give me a heart attack from all the suspense one day.

The trio made their way towards the gate, the hallways now familiar. It was starting to become routine to be working all day now which was both fun and terrifying at the same time. On one hand, it was becoming easier to work for extended periods of time but on the other hand it was scary how easily they were getting used to it.

Once they were safely inside the ship and away from prying eyes and ears, Daisy turned to the two siblings, mouth set and ready to demand answers.

"Wow you actually look pretty scary right now," said Harry.

"Well that's the general idea behind this look. Don’t look so surprised," said Daisy, mock glaring at them.

"Jeez...didn't we tell you that we will let you know as soon as we got here," said Harry, raising his hands.

"Yes you did. I just wanted to make sure. Now come on. Don't keep dragging things out."

'I wasn't dragging things out," said Harry.

"You saying that you are not dragging things out is actually dragging things out," pointed out Aria.

"Exactly," said Daisy.

"Ohh right. Sorry Daisy. I didn't mean to keep you waiting," he said and saw Daisy begin to frown," right, so what we have to say is that our mom got a report on the door by a professional and it is..." He paused for a couple of seconds. "…Damaged."

Daisy could barely stop herself from whooping in joy. Oh My God! This might actually be it. We might actually be free.

"Wow that is just...just…just…freaking amazing. It’s just...I can't even process this right now," she said," oh I just want to break into a dance right about now."

"That's exactly what I wanted to do," said Harry.

"And it’s exactly what both of you are not going to do right now," said Aria, " besides we haven't even finished telling Daisy all the news yet."

"Right. Dancing would not be very discreet," said Harry," oh right can you tell her or should I?"

"One of you better tell me in the next five seconds if you know what's good for you," said Daisy, voicing raising just a little. These two really need to learn to avoid beating around the bush.

"Right so we are sort of going to be getting a low key secret mission of sorts," said Aria, then held up her hand as Daisy opened her mouth to ask questions," wait I'm getting to it."

Daisy huffed. She acts exactly like mom.

"So they’re planning on assembling some volunteers to escape and also to brainstorm on a few ideas with said volunteers. Tonight we have to help get the word out to a certain group so that everyone knows about it to be able to volunteer. It's all already been planned out, this time they’re not leaving anything to chance and working as fast as possible...I'll let you know exactly where we'll be going later tonight."

"You two always find something to keep me in suspense don't you?" asked Daisy, trying to frown despite the large smile currently on her face from the news.

"Well somethings have to be said at the proper times. And we also have a lot of work to get done," said Aria.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
944 Reviews


Points: 96201
Reviews: 944

Donate
Sat Oct 02, 2021 12:28 pm
View Likes
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

This was a great start to the new chapter. With the build up and Daisy's thoughts, we got a new insight into her here and liked that she can be different than the sometimes gullible, naive girl. That was really well seen here.

The tension was there and I didn't feel it directly as a kind of filler here, as you tried to prolong the conversations a little bit in the humorous kind of contrived way. I actually thought it was very slapstick in a way, even though the situation may not have directly portrayed it that way.

I liked how the three were happy when they were all on the same level of knowledge and that they can now see some kind of escape because of the damaged door. At the same time, I also wonder if it can't become a danger. I think there was a brief point here where you could have developed it a little bit by showing this "joy" better. You go quite quickly towards the end of the chapter and then you don't see much more.

I didn't expect Daisy to be so impatient either, but as I said, I like that we get to see more of her here, which makes her character not seem so superficial and one-sided.

Other points I noticed while reading:

“You are absolutely not going to believe what mom told us yesterday.”

I've seen and read it from a few others but never really noticed it, but when you talk about your own mother in a dialogue, the respective parent would have to be described with a capital letter.

"Wow you actually look pretty scary right now," said Harry.

I think there should be a comma after the wow.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



User avatar
520 Reviews


Points: 37275
Reviews: 520

Donate
Thu Sep 30, 2021 12:12 am
View Likes
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

She managed to find herself at the hall half an hour later and an entire hour before wakeup

Thid wakeup should be Wake Up, I guess according to the last chapters.

Okay so the plot moving now creating a way for all the actions, adventures and everything that we are going to see here. Seems like they are going to see the aliens strolling in the hallway or something or maybe the aliens are gonna stop them from escaping. Something more which I wonder about is the fact if the Aliens can be killed by some means. When the aliens kill humans, humans killing the aliens is also justified. Definitely evil, anyway.

I feel that Daisy is gonna have a bad time with her health. I don't really know how many days she hasn't slept for and also I have really forgotten how many days they are working with these long schedules. On ome hand, it seems to be many days, provided the story has advanced some chapters. On the other hand, if we take into account the incidents and all, to me it doesn't seem to be more than a week or even less than that, maybe around 4 days which doesn't appear to be any days to me and as they are very excited, I guess the time to them will seem even shorter.

I don't know if it wad intentional but I do have a feeling that I missed a major portion of the conversation that Mrs. Kane had with Harry and Aria. Like she told a lot of things except the fact that the wiring is damaged. Seems interesting. It actually means that the siblings might nit have told things to Daisy that Mrs. Kane told them. Also, I am very curious to see how Mrs. Kane treats Daisy. I just pointed it out, ut's your decision whether to expound on the conversation or not. That can be a good place for some foreshadowings though.

Seems like we will see one escape for the first time. Obviously, it has taken place quite a few times but we are gonna see it for the first time. I wonder about the past escapes. Like we know that those led to deaths but my question is if these very people have ever tried to escape. If they did, they would have a good idea of all things related to the door. The most worryibg thing is if someone will try to escape before them. If that happens and the aliens get concerned... Bad luck.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thank yoouu for the review!!

Whoops...I forgot my own title sometimes...that should be Wake Up :D

Hmmm...you're theories are sometimes a little too close for to comment on without accidentally giving away a spoiler ;)



User avatar
355 Reviews


Points: 36171
Reviews: 355

Donate
Wed Sep 29, 2021 4:10 pm
View Likes
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Things are getting pretty exciting from now on. You started the chapter with a bang. I do wish that you had built the introduction a bit more before launching into the actual dialogues. I can tell that a lot is going to take place in this chapter so I thought the introduction would have been the right moment to breathe and prepare for it.

I really liked the way you portrayed Daisy in this chapter, especially because all this might have come across as a little out of the blue for her. She is right though, Harry and Aria do need to not keep beating around the bush. Her frustration and impatience with the pair of them was aptly portrayed and I could feel her curiosity every time she snapped at them to tell her what was going on. It did lead to some funny moments though. Sometimes they act like such children in the middle of important scenes, it really makes me smile!


Now, the secret mission. From what I understood they are going to gather more volunteers. I do not think that it will be a very difficult task. I am sure everyone would jump at the chance of escape, no matter how slight it is. I feel positive about this time, and from their excitement, I think they are hopeful too. For their sake, I hope you do not come up with any of those plot twists of yours!

Specifics:

said Daisy, voicing raising just a little.

The 'voicing' will be just 'voice' here.

"Jeez...didn't we tell you that we will let you know as soon as we got here,"

There will be a question mark at the end.

That's it!

Keep writing and have a great day!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm, yeah I think I was so excited to finally get to a bit of action scene that I rushed that a little :D

Hmmm...;)



User avatar
76 Reviews


Points: 5093
Reviews: 76

Donate
Wed Sep 29, 2021 2:20 pm
View Likes
SadboyJay wrote a review...



hey Harry its jay here to leave a review from your good chapter i love!!

First Harry my favorite character in the story was Harry and Aria and Daisy and i have a favorite line in the chapter She managed to find herself at the hall half an hour later and an entire hour before wakeup where to her surprise she found Aria and Harry already waiting for her, both deep in conversation. Those two definitely learned something yesterday. Harry this was a good story i had read.😀

Second Harry my compliment to your chapter is that you should add more characters and hopefully we see more characters and more new chapters harry and it was good to read about it

Third harry how you can improve is just keep writing chapters you giving me harry potter chapters harry but thats fine cause people making chapters now these days

4th harry just know you doing better off with chapters cause me i love them harry and this one was pretty good


5th harry who else you going to have as the character on the next chapter i would want to know so when the chapter out i can just read it but i would want to know who else would be on the next chapter



But have a nice day Harry a Goodmorning Harry by jay~





“Can a magician kill a man by magic?” Lord Wellington asked Strange. Strange frowned. He seemed to dislike the question. “I suppose a magician might,” he admitted, “but a gentleman never could.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell