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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 8.1

by HarryHardy


Chapter 8

I See It. There at the End of the Tunnel. A Light.

[Harry]

Later that night, the trio stayed out watching the stars one more time. Unlike the day before, Harry wasn't quite as at peace with the idea, mostly because of the excitement that had taken him over at the news that was to be delivered today. His mother would certainly have the means to get an expert like Mr. Summers to look at it and confirm if it was indeed possible to use as an escape point.

With this going on in his mind, Harry barely noticed the many stars that littered the sky like white paint splattered across a black wall. He tried to immerse himself in the silence of the night. The entire compound went deathly quiet with the most of the humans being in their beds while the rest were tucked away deep inside the camp working on the few areas that humans were given permission to roam at night. It was just as eerie as it was calming.

After several minutes of restless waiting, the wait was finally over. Time to go give the good news. Oh this is so much better than what I had to say last night. Oh thank the fates we didn’t manage to say it yesterday. That would've been a very long explanation.

"Penny for your thoughts Harry," came Daisy's voice. Harry shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Sorry. Just thinking about stuff," said Harry, heading in after Daisy where Aria was already waiting, arms crossed and a frown on her face.

"And what exactly is stuff supposed to be?" asked Aria.

"Oh just the fact that we're lucky we didn't tell them the news yesterday," explained Harry," or they just wouldn't believe today's news."

"Oh yeah," said Daisy, “I ldidn't even think about that.”

"But we still do have to inform them of the fact that the door is brand new," said Aria.

"Oh we can do that. As long as there is a chance the door is damaged,” said Harry, smiling at Aria’s slightly worried face.

"Hmm...okay let's take about this in the hall where there's some light," said Daisy, looking a bit pale, "I don't like it when it gets dark in here."

"Okay time to go," said Aria, quickly shooing them in the direction of The Hub.

The three of them set off into the darkness for the second time in two days. Harry felt like everything was even darker than it had been the previous day. Like that's even possible. Stop thinking silly things Harry. Next thing you know you are going to see a dinosaur.

The walk to The Hub was silent as it always was, letting Harry think about exactly what he would have to tell his mom for the news to spread. I have to try and gloss over the door change I think...then they'll think the door was changed between when I last saw it and when they see it.... but then...No, the truth might be the only way. Why did this have to become so hard all of a sudden?


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Sat Sep 25, 2021 6:46 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

So, we have reached the new chapter and I am here to give my comment.

We have never seen Harry so thoughtful as in these two parts. That's not a big surprise after it's been foreshadowed for so long in the last parts, and I have the impression that you've also created a good basic approach to portraying these thoughts of his. At least as a first point, I think it's good that you showed that.

Since we only know Harry as a vivacious, humorous character who kind of loves adventure, I have to admit to being worried myself now because he's thinking about it for so long. That's also one of those points where I think a little more would have been better here. After all, you're working with a character here who I think is the main character and you can take the opportunity here to use that change and that self-reflection to maybe bring about a small (and brief) change. Because I think on the change from Part 1 to Part 2 it's very repetitive and it also goes straight on to the mother.

I don't mean to say that the part there isn't that good, because I liked it, but you're really just taking the lid off the can here, and not going deeper. That's what I expected, that it would be focused on a bit more in the next part.

Otherwise, I liked the part. He had a very serious voice and with the title of the chapter I also think there is something threatening hidden there.

Other points I noticed while reading:

Unlike the day before, Harry wasn't quite as at peace with the idea, mostly because of the excitement that had taken him over at the news that was to be delivered today.

 I would insert a full stop here after the "wasn't quite as at peace with the idea", because then you give the reader a break before you give an explanation. This way you give the "solution" in one go, like a teacher who asks a question and answers it immediately.

No, the truth might be the only way. Why did this have to become so hard all of a sudden?

 Your ending with the train of thought is a good approach to portraying his inner world, and you manage to give a great portrayal yourself with the concluding sentence. It shows a bit more that Harry is a child or a teenager.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Fri Sep 24, 2021 5:15 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey!! Forever here with a review!!

A lot of thoughts filled in in this part. I quite liked it how you portrayed all the thoughts and emotions of Harry in this chapter. I was quite eager to read about the thoughts of characters, especially Harry's as he is the most important character in the whole story as it seems to me.

I think that they will get some hope at last, real hope I mean. Yes, this Summers is definitely the head of the movement so he is the perfect person to go to when it comes to all these technical things. I hope he will be able to help but well, I do doubt that he will be able to come to the place and help. So, they will have to go to him and provide all the details and he will not be able to inspect the place physically.

Harry seems to be reflecting on all the pasts and how their hope was repeatedly shattered. Now, they have entered the ship and has known its origin and also hope is there for the door. Two hopes together. Now maybe he will tell Aria to tell everything to Kane or maybe he will tell himself. On the other hand, Aria too will tell her mom something which I really wonder about. The interaction is going to be quite interesting because we have seen reference to this for quite some time.

I liked how you continued with the fear of darkness of Daisy. I wonder if that is going to play any important part in the story. Perhaps it will or maybe if they see immense light, she will start liking darkness. I am saying this because the outer world is all light. We saw it.

Overall, this part was a relaxing one.

Keep Writing!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Fri Sep 24, 2021 12:38 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

I really liked the way you have portrayed Harry's thoughts and musings in this part. This was a really calm and reflecting start to the chapter and the title itself makes me wonder what this one is going to be about. It sounds hopeful, but I really do not think we are in the position to make guesses yet. It's just the beginning of the chapter!

With this going on in his mind, Harry barely noticed the many stars that littered the sky like white paint splattered across a black wall. He tried to immerse himself in the silence of the night.

Having been a part of this story since the start, I have become quite familiar with your direct and casual writing style. You show us the story through the characters and their dialogues and they are mostly your strong suit. However, every once in a while you include these simple descriptions that really add a different tone to the story. Here, you have devoted just one or two sentences to describe the scene here, it creates an entirely new and different atmosphere that reflects the slow and peaceful flow of Harry's internal thoughts in that moment.

I liked the reference about Daisy's fear of the dark. These little details about the character make them unique and it is always great to come across more and more of them. For some reason, they seem to be stressed about informing the others about the door and I wonder why.

I guess there is going to be another meeting pretty soon to discuss all the new developments that took place. Honestly, they are going to have quite a lot to discuss with everything that has happened since then and now. It will be quite an eventful meeting. Right now I am wondering where the story will go now, as we appear to have reached a calm now. I feel that we are getting closer, though and I wonder how everything is going to play out for the humans.

Overall, I really liked this beginning. It was slow, and relaxed and detailed and I think it was a great way to ease us into a new chapter. I am excited to see what will happen now.

Keep writing and have a great day!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Maybe its okay to start having a little bit of hope now...maybe ;)




I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
— Thomas Edison