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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 7.5

by HarryHardy

The inside looked pretty well off for a ship that had been on fire for several minutes and survived a reentry into the atmosphere.

It didn't look like many things were out of order. Several charred screens coated in a black gooey substance lined the walls of the ship. The paint was cracked in several places but surprisingly still recognizable as a forest green. The other flight equipment was mostly intact and unmoved. 

"This is like in really good condition," commented Harry.

"And how do you come to that conclusion?" asked Aria, curious to know if he'd spotted something she didn't.

"Most of the controls are where they should be," explained Daisy," and for something that burnt hot enough to completely melt the heat shield outside the stuff inside is reasonably well off. The paint clearly didn't survive but this must have some ridiculously good insulation to be able to not be a complete gooey sticky mass of nothingness."

"Uh well, I guess I don't have anything to add to that," said Harry, giving Daisy a mock bow," thank you Professor Danvers."

Daisy nodded in acknowledgment and gave her best impression of a superior smug look although her inability to stop herself from smiling completely ruined the look.

"Hmm...okay let's just get to work then. As far as I know, that just means this will be easier for us to dismantle and dispose of," said Aria, rolling her eyes at their antics.

"True," agreed Harry," pity that the engine is completely destroyed. Otherwise we could have actually flown this."

"Well whatever brought this thing down it was a hit to the engine or the fuel tank if all those flames are any indication,” said Aria,"so you can forget about that."

"I don't think I can argue with said," said Harry, turning around," I'm taking the front of the ship. You two take the other sides. I guess we start with whatever loose items are on the floor and then work our way up?"

"Sounds like the most reasonable thing to do," said Aria, nodding," we can hopefully finish that before the day is out, then all we have are these big pieces and the main frame of the ship itself."

"Yaa...we should be done in a week or two hopefully."

"Hopefully," said Daisy, before the three of them picked a spot a spot to start.


"Uhh...guys, I think solved the mystery of where this came from," called out Harry,"not that it explains much but...well just come over here."

"Wait how?" asked Aria, walking over, Daisy not far behind.

"It's written right here, MWSC Rainbow Emergency Escape Pod A49," said Harry pointing out white lettering set next to one of the cracked control panels.

"English?" asked Daisy,"how can it be in English.?"

"It's very possible that humans aren't the only ones who use that language," said Aria," there are plenty of stories that said we used to have intergalactic trade back in the day."

"I pretty sure those stories are very true. Our trade was in its infancy, but I remember reading about a couple of ships we used to transport goods on," began Daisy,"I don't believe Earth had its own ships, but we did own a part of some ships belonging to the Milky Way as a whole. And the designation they used was oddly similar. MWTC. Milky Way Trade Cruiser. This is MWSC. I'd bet that the MW comes from Milky Way."

"Huh," said Aria, filing that information away to relay to her mother later. That would confirm the suspicions that her mother had mentioned that one morning. "Well, that's all very interesting, but let's get back to work now."

"Yes, Captain!" echoed the duo.

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318 Reviews

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Fri Sep 24, 2021 12:15 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...


RandomTalks here with a review!

Well, this was an interesting end to the chapter. I feel like we got some solid information here but I still do not know how that is going to fit itself in the bigger picture. Right now the 's' in MWSC can have so many different meanings, but I have a feeling that whatever it was, it had good intentions. Because they speak in English, I am going to assume that it does not belong to the aliens. My wild imagination has already come up with several theories. The most reliable theory is that it was a rescue ship that the aliens had somehow got to know about. Could be anything though!

I really liked the dialogues in this chapter. They were informative and yet characteristic of the three of them. You included a lot of details in a really subtle and easy manner. I am just curios now about where this is going. I still believe that the ship is going to play some pivotal part in the story, I just cannot guess how.

That would confirm the suspicions that her mother had mentioned that one morning.

I could not remember what Aria was trying to recall in this sentence. Was she mentioning something her mother said in that first conversation between them. Or was it part of that secret conversation that we still do not know anything about? I am not really sure, so I might have to go back a few chapters!

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm...MWSC is a bit of a setup for something that pays of towards the end of this'll come up a couple more times in this story...but it plays its biggest role in book 3 ;)

Yup, that was the secret conversation :D

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Thu Sep 23, 2021 2:30 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This MWSC sounds very exciting and interesting. S can stand for safety. That is the only thing I can think of at the moment. The thing is the characters ignore the rest of the name. MWSC Rainbow Emergency Escape Pod A49(I copy pasted it :D). First of all with rainbow, I wonder how is it related with rainbow? Like in other planets, how can there be rainbow(the typical rainbow I mean, the one formed due to rain)? Maybe they meant something else. Now emergency escape pod. First of all, escape! Why did I suddenly think about the escape of the human beings and the vehicle was sent for that purpose? I don't know but well, I do wonder who was supposed to escape? There was no one inside the vehicle or maybe they were invisible! A lot of exclamatory things happening here but well, we will not know this until the third book...

One to two weeks is definitely a loong time and I wonder how long it took till now. I would just suggest to give something like it had been _ days since it was found or something of that sort. That would clear the time span.

They didn't really find something very interesting inside the ship and that is very disappointing when I expected them to find something useful. However, the whole cleaning is not yet done so maybe they will find something useful. The inside seemed to be fairly protecyed so that outside harms can't cause any sort of problems to it. If the Aliens shot that down because it was sent by the enemies, then they have powerful enemies.

I liked how you provided a bit of past here. I have been wondering about this for quite a few parts. I guess we will be getting a good insight to whatever it was but not too soon. Overall, builds a lot of mystery. I never succeed at writing a good overall.

Keep Writing!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!!

xD...yeah, this ship will be mentioned a couple of times in the rest of this book...but its main role will be in book 3 :D The Rainbow is....actually...yeah...I wish I could you tell you this now..but ahh...too many spoilers. ')

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Thu Sep 23, 2021 2:10 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...

Hi Harry,

Mailice a final time here with a short review! :D

Herewith we have reached the end of chapter 7 and I must say that it was a good pleasure to read it. If you read it through in one complete rush, you notice much sooner when something catches your eye.

For example, your switching between the narrative form and the dialogue is like an up and down and I really like that style. It gives an exciting way to read it, but can feel a bit repetitive in much longer chapters in this format. Here I still found it okay.

Also as mentioned earlier, the characters were more alive here than ever before. Not only that, but I found that their development and plot came a long way. There are always new doors opening up that await the reader and especially in the last two parts I found this well realised in the dialogue.

Some minor points where you need to look again would be the "to say" in dialogue, especially when it's parts that are very keen on making dialogue the focus, and sometimes your sentences where you repeat yourself a bit too often.

Otherwise, I found chapter 7 a convincing performance for the continuation of the story.

Two other points I noticed while reading:

It didn't look like many things were out of order. Several charred screens coated in a black gooey substance lined the walls of the ship. The paint was cracked in several places but surprisingly still recognizable as a forest green. The other flight equipment was mostly intact and unmoved. 

That is exactly what I sometimes miss with you. These descriptions are good and not too much, (like mine for example . :D), direct and offer the reader enough to create a first, clearer picture. Definitely something you can include more often if the opportunity arises.

"English?" asked Daisy,"how can it be in English.?"

Here a full stop has arrived in front of the question mark.

Have fun writing!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!!

xD...those about capture the main issues I run into with writing longer stories :D

Hmm...I think it boils down to me not being all the good at describing things sometimes...this is draft two so there are occasional moments I'm happy with like that, but its something I definitely struggle with a bit. I often have such a crystal clear image in my own head that I forgot that the reader doesn't have that...and then I also often feel like I might accidentally bog down the pace..and it all creates a destructive loop :D

Also I don't know if I've ever said this before, but I love the little bits of humor you inject when pointing out grammar mistakes!! :D

If you want something badly, you just gotta believe it's gonna work out.
— Andy, Parks & Rec