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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 6.2

by HarryHardy


"They have..." he began, voicing cracking slightly.

"...fixed a new door," she finished for him, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. "It's okay. They must have just kept that door temporarily until they had enough time to build a new one."

"But what if they were not planning to do that and this whole thing was because they saw that I was checking the door," said Harry, looking nearly on the verge of tears.

"Hey don't think like that. You really think that they would have kept us in captivity for so long by being sloppy like that. I’m a hundred percent sure that this was their plan the whole time."

"Oh well," he said," I think I just got far too excited for this. I should've seen this coming. They would never..." He trailed off, staring into the distance.

"That's totally normal Harry. I know how much you believe that someday we'll all be free again and that's such a wonderful thing. It will happen, even if its not today. Setbacks happen. Come on, look at me."

"How do you always know how to make me feel better?" he asked, turning back to face her, a small smile finally working its way to his lips.

She pulled him into a hug.

"Because we've known each other since we were babies, dinkus," she whispered in his ear.

"Okay you two lovebirds really need to cool it here," said Aria, who appeared to be trying very hard not to laugh.

The two of them gave a collective sigh as they separated.

"Two friends can hug too you know," Harry snapped.

"See that's what makes me suspicious," said Aria.

"What?" asked Daisy, frowning.

"You two are always so quick to defend yourselves and yell at me," she said," people do that when they have something to hide."

"Since when are you an expert in psychology?" said Harry, trying to sounds sarcastic but Daisy could see it was far from his normal tone.

Arai seemed to spot that too because her expression instantly changed to one of concern. “Anything happen?”

"You could say that," said Daisy.

"Wait why's that?" she asked.

"Well I think it's what you expected to happen but you were too polite to say it out loud and upset me," answered Harry.

"Okay can you two please stop beating around the bush and tell me already?" she said.

"Well, that thing I noticed yesterday," said Harry. She raised her eyebrows.

"It's replaced now."

Aria’s face took on a familiar look. The sort of grim resignation that she seemed to sometimes have permanently etched into her face.

"I’m sorry Harry. It's just how things are," she said, voice low. Harry just looked down at the grass.

"Well let's just try and get back to work," said Daisy jumping into the situation,“We can’t let this stop us and give the aliens an opening to make this day worse..”

"Right," said Aria and walked off to without a word. Harry on the other hand was still frozen in place.

"Hey aren't you getting back to work?" asked Daisy, giving him a small smile," we have to get our food you know."

"I suppose we do," he said, trying for a smile but failing.

"Come on then," she said, raising her voice," FOR FOOD!"

"For Food!" echoed Harry. It was half hearted but he smiled brightly at her before walking back to where he'd been working.


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Thu Sep 16, 2021 10:54 am
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks back with another review!

So they replaced the door. I wonder if it actually has something to do with Harry's discovery the other day, or if they had planned it all long. If it hadn't been planned, then I get this distinct feeling that they are slipping in their ways. If they had to wait for Harry to discover it, then maybe they are not as careful and meticulous as we thought them to be? Interesting developments.

This part was mostly focused around dialogue, and I really enjoyed reading it. Daisy seems to have a rather calming effect on Harry and to be honest, Aria's reaction and sarcastic leg pulling of them is always way too entertaining. Their interactions almost always bring a smile to my face, and this one was particularly enjoyable. It was interesting how the two girls had their own way of pacifying Harry, with Daisy being more comforting and Aria delivering him the bitter truth.

I found it a little strange how long it took Aria to get involved in the conversation. She must have been really focused in her work or maybe she was in deep thought about something, maybe it has something to do with why her mother called her that morning. I don't know for sure of course.

The ending was really great. To be honest, I had been expecting something worse in this part. The door being replaced is comparatively less drastic than all my imaginings. I liked the lighthearted ending though. It is really good to see how they still manage to find little moments of joy in the prison that is their lives. Their friendship has really helped them and sometimes I think it is the only thing that will get them out of the dark times.

That's all for this one!

Keep writing and have a great day!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



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Wed Sep 15, 2021 2:06 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi HarryHardy,

Mailice back with a short review! :D

This was a very eloquent chapter, which can hardly get past a rapid dynamic. (I think I also need to start trying to distinguish chapter and part, otherwise I'll get confused too). So we learn that a new door has been inserted and already with the previous part and now this one, I have more and more the feeling that all this imprisonment will eventually lead to collapse.


Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it's building up to this being a major plot point if it continues. It's also kind of struck me now because of the (as always, very good and funny) dialogue; the whole thing kind of reminds me of the Berlin Wall. :D (Is perhaps a bit of an extreme example.)

One thing that struck me in this chapter, probably because of all the dialogue, was your very frequent number of "to say". I hadn't noticed that before, but here it stands out a lot and I think just replacing some of that verb with a synonym helps to bring out a different structure.

I liked the ending because it was almost like a little battle cry. I thought it was very funny and gave a more relaxed vein to the seriousness that came over from the last part to this one.

Again two tiny things I found while reading:

"They have..." he began, voicing cracking slightly.
"...fixed a new door," she

I'm not sure here, but shouldn't it be more like, "The have build a new door?" It sounds so weird.

You really think that they would have kept us in captivity for so long by being sloppy like that.

Here´s a question mark needed.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm...I do tend to overuse that particular one sometimes...definitely have to work on that. :D



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Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:31 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey!! Forever here with a review!!

Arai seemed to spot that too because her expression instantly changed to one of concern

Guess what happened here. Aria changed her name and gave rise to a new character.

First of all, you need to specify Daisy at first. I mean write Daisy instead of she in the first dialogue. The name 'Daisy' appears a lot latter in this part than it should. In the beginning it felt likr we are dealing with an anonymous she. It won't hurt if you do that.

I wonder how Aria noticed this after such a long time. she was a bit too absorbed in the work? I really foubt it. Maybe she was thinking about something else, maybe whatever Kane told her about. Or maybe she is a bit inattentive and not very observational. I guess we saw this earlier too. Not a good point, she missed a whole damn conversation. Also, the teasing thing is becoming boring but apparently, not to the characters.

Now the Aliens maybe have got to know about it from dome source such as the cameras. I sometimes tgink that the Aliens are manipulating the children in a bad manner and making them want to see the outer world. We saw it earlier. That hole can be an application of that.
I don't know but I always have a feeling that Aria knows something that they don't. Like the sentence she said after hearing it was... Not veryyy sad... On the other hand, Harry was extremely sad. He is very emotional, the most emotional among them I guess.

The part was a great part and I hopr they get their strength back.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!




cron
"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."
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