Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure

12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 5.5

by HarryHardy


The next few days passed in a blur with them making slow progress on the ship, eating away at it bit by bit like a trio of ants working on eating through an apple. There were slowly getting used to the longer shift and things were starting to fall back into somewhat of a rhythm after the chaos caused by the crashed ship. 

It was about four days now since the crash of the ship. It started normally enough with Aria going over to check their schedule for the day at The Hub. On her return however, Harry could see that something wasn't right. Aria wasn't the most cheerful of people in the morning, but she was looking extra worried as she walked back from the screen.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked as soon as he got a glimpse of her face.

"Very bad news," she said, letting out a sigh.

"What can possibly be worse than having to miss breakfast three days in a row?" asked Harry.

"We have been assigned to solely take care of the whole project," she said.

Harry didn't even process that for a moment. It had sounded like.

"Wait a minute. We're going to be covering all the shifts?" asked Harry.

"Yes. We're not going to miss lunch or dinner but we're going to have to take four of the shifts," said Aria," which means we get two tiny one hour breaks but besides that we're expected to be working almost full time on this spaceship cleanup. Everyone else who was working on it has been reassigned to other areas."

"Why on Earth would they do that?" asked Daisy," just because we happened to be the ones there doesn't mean they get to make us responsible for the whole thing."

"Hey no one said life was fair," said Aria.

"It's not this unfair," said Harry. 

"It is in this place," said Daisy. That wiped the smiles off their faces.

"We have a long few days ahead of us don't we?" said Harry.

"That we do," said Aria, walking off. "Come on, standing around fixes absolutely none of our problems."

Work began that day with the weight of their new shifts now weighing heavily on their minds. Today was supposed to be a good day. They'd made enough progress that Harry was positive they could cut through enough of the wings around the fuselage to sneak through and get a sneak at the place where the door had once been. The only bright side to this change of shifts was that they were definitely going to have enough time for that plan to be successful, except now with the string of bad luck, Harry didn't know if he was going to like what they found behind the spaceship.

Despite his apprehension, it all went quite smoothly. A few hours into that days' work, Harry slipped through the opening they'd created with Aria and Daisy making sure to be working near that area at the same time to make sure that it was not blatantly obvious that Harry was sneaking off. With the way the cameras were positioned, the spaceship ended up playing to their advantage. Both the cameras mounted near the glass passage leading out to the door were completely blocked off by the spaceship as were the ones on the side. The ones on the wall were the only problem, but as long as Harry was careful to inch along the wall itself, he would be out of its field of view for most of the time. 

It wasn't like Harry had to be hidden from the cameras the entire time either, he just had to make sure they didn't spot him sizing up the spot where the door was.

The first thing Harry saw was the actual door. It had been replaced after all which meant they'd probably had a backup in store...or the repairing process had been much simpler than it had looked at first. He frowned. That could be bad news.

Steeling himself, he took a deep breath and slowly scanned the door, making sure to only glance at it out of the corner of his eye so that he could pretend to be checking out the ship in the event that a guard was to come looking for them.

As he was scanning the place where the door connected to its hinges, he spotted something that made him stop and stare. Completely forgetting about the situation, he turned around and peered in to get a closer look. Am I seeing things? He rubbed his eyes and took a second look. They are not wrong when they say everything happens for a reason.

The hinge was slightly bent, letting a tiny pinprick of light through. It was a weak spot.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
410 Reviews


Points: 22239
Reviews: 410

Donate
Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:43 pm
View Likes
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey!! Forever here with a review!

There were slowly getting used to the longer shift and things were starting to fall back into somewhat of a rhythm after the chaos caused by the crashed ship.

There will be they
It had sounded like.

What is this supposed to mean?
It started normally enough with Aria going over to check their schedule for the day at The Hub.

When I read this sentence for thr first time, it seemed like you were recapitulating what haf happened on the very first day. Latet it became clear. I would just suggest including something in here that will make it clear that u are talking about the 4th day after the crash. I do understand that it's written before that 4 days have passed but still... I don't know it might just have been me...

Now to the story. Harry is being quite adventurous and I assume the others are taking part in the adventure too. Ah, they have devised quite some ingenious methods to trick the Aliens. Also, the kind nature of the Aliens got reverted in an instance. I guess that was a very vague reference and then back to the main plot. They are in a pathetic condition, missing breakfast doesn't seem to be a very good condition not taking into account that I wake up at 12.

And now, the story begins! Here we have the first clear hope in the minds of the characters. I guess Harry will see through the hole. However, it's difficult because of the stupid cameras. Also, he is in potential danger now judging from the fact that he has already taken a closer look and the Aliens might have spotted that too.

Something which I wonder about is about who Daisy actually is. I mean what's the connection between them except that they are friends and also why are they always assigned to the same work?

Overall, this was quite a good part :D

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thank youuu for the review!!



User avatar
799 Reviews


Points: 83958
Reviews: 799

Donate
Mon Sep 13, 2021 6:42 pm
View Likes
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi HarryHardy,
 
Mailice here with a short review! :D
 
That was another insightful chapter. I liked how you keep the narrative fairly constant at the moment and still create the necessary urge to read the story. I really liked the way you set up the conversation between the three of them. You could clearly read the optimism of the group despite the extra work.

I think that you have created a really good group dynamic with the trio, who somehow always complement each other, no matter what has just happened or been discussed. Even after short arguments or disagreements, it doesn't seem like a sibling love/friendship is broken, but rather closer.

I liked how you worked your way towards the door in this chapter. It was very exciting to read it, especially when it got quieter in terms of dialogue and the focus was more on Harry and his head as he meticulously tried to work towards it. I found the chapter very nice to read in general and also like how we move on in the story.

 Other points I noticed while reading:
 

eating away at it bit by bit like a trio of ants working on eating through an apple.

 Your metaphor here is really very apt. I like it.
 
"What can possibly be worse than having to miss breakfast three days in a row?" asked Harry.

Yes, I know something that is even worse; not having slept one night and then not getting breakfast the next morning because you didn't sleep. :D
 
 
"Why on Earth would they do that?" asked Daisy," just because we happened to be the ones there doesn't mean they get to make us responsible for the whole thing.”

 I was a bit confused here because we hadn't heard from Daisy until this point and here I felt like she had just appeared out of nowhere.
 
Have fun writing!
 
Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!



User avatar
255 Reviews


Points: 23799
Reviews: 255

Donate
Mon Sep 13, 2021 4:27 pm
View Likes
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a review!

We have reached the end of chapter 5! Well, we have certainly come a long way into the story.

This was an interesting chapter. Most if it was based around the crash of the spaceship and it's aftermath. I think you did a really great job in portraying the repercussions by creating an environment both tense and somber. The first few parts explored their thoughts and reactions while the later parts moved on to the actual work. This was a really great end to an otherwise slow and reflective chapter.

I liked how you portrayed the flow of time in the first paragraph by highlighting their routine shifts without really dragging on with it. It had made me think that this would be another slow paced part where you gocus more on the work and descriptions. You definitely worked on the descriptions especially in the part where Harry was working inside the ship but the cliffhanger at the ending was really brilliant. It sets the perfect kind of ominous and yet exciting tone for the next chapter. Now the main question is - What did he see?

I cannot even guess whether it is a good surprise or bad surprise from his reaction. "They are not wrong when they say everything happens for a reason" - now that is some way to keep it vague and confuse the readers. I cannot understand in what context that sentence was said. I just hope that whatever he finds inside is on their side. They could use a victory.

A nitpick:

A few hours into that days' work, Harry slipped through the opening they'd created with Aria and Daisy making sure to be working near that area at the same time to make sure that it was not blatantly obvious that Harry was sneaking off.


You use the term "make sure" twice in the same sentence to imply the same kind of thing and it sounds a little repetitive. I would either swap it with a synonym or maybe erase that first one - it doesn't really make a difference to the meaning.

This was a really great chapter ending. I am excited to find out what comes next!

Keep writing and have a great day!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!! :D




Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places, you’re off and away!
— Dr. Seuss