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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 22.1

by HarryHardy


Chapter 22

We Catch a Ride out of Town

[Aria]

Everyone nodded solemnly at Aria's statement. As cliché as it might have sounded, it was the literal truth in this case. If they weren’t quick about executing the next few steps of their plan, the aliens would catch up with them, and then it would be all over. There would be no way out of being spotted. The aliens were not going to take any prisoners.

They crept out of the bush as one, moving in a single file to reduce the chances of being spotted. There was no talking, this particular plan hinged on precision and stealth. It was hands down going to be the most crucial and most difficult part of their whole escape and they all knew it.

They made a wide circle around the compound, taking care to be out of the potential camera range. They had no way to get exact measurements, but with the drone they’d been handed a decent map of the area and it was clearly marked where things were mostly out of sight from at least some of the cameras. All they could do was move fast enough and hope to be spotted so briefly on the edge of a camera that no one thought anything of it. It was a lot to hope for considering all the aliens had to be on high alert, but the fact that there were the first group of humans to make it this far meant they had the advantage. They'd probably never expect them to know of the cameras.

They were slowly curving around, looking out for the one place that had seemed like it would make for a safe entrance, which was the back door. There were four doors into the place, including the large bay door at the front, and then three small side doors, well small by alien standards; they were still quite large for a human. The ones on the side didn’t have guards but cameras and what looked like some kind of biometric security lock and they were both probably for the officers. The back door on the other hand, seemed like it was the one everyone else used to get in and out because it appeared to always be unlocked. The problem, of course was the two guards outside it, not to mention the cameras. They had, however, come up with a plan to deal with at least one of those problems.

It took them a couple of minutes to fully circle all the way around. It was a pretty big compound, so even at a run; it wasn’t the quickest, especially when trying to stay among the trees and avoid detection. The doorway in question soon came into view, as did the guard standing outside. It looked like this particular one hadn’t warranted two guards that night. Aria wasn’t going to complain however. One less guard meant their plan had a better chance of succeeding.

With that thought in mind, Aria gestured for them to begin the plan. Ryan hurled a large stick into the nearest camera right on cue. She smiled. He’d made a good choice of stick. It was just big enough to do damage the camera but small enough that the aliens could mistake it for a stray stick blown by the wind. And just as they’d hoped, the guard walked away from his post and towards the jungle to investigate the sudden appearance of the stick.

They waited for the right moment and soon Kate had launched the next stick, taking out the second camera. Aria smiled again. She had chosen perfectly as well. As if on cue, the guard got a call on some sort of communication device. The guard barked something back into it. That was what they were waiting for. There was no way to confirm if what the guard said was what they had wanted, but they were hoping that conversation was the operators of the camera asking about the currently broken cameras and the guard reassuring them it was just the wind.


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Thu Dec 09, 2021 1:23 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

From the title, it's quite an upbeat tone, but you notice that the chapter begins with the fear and anxiety that was still evident in the previous chapter. Only here we have now managed to show Aria's POV.

This part reminds me a little of the beginning of the previous chapter, and yet there is something that changes it, and that is the course of this chapter. For a start, I like the tone and how the sections here already read well. I don't get the impression of getting lost in the explanations despite the lack of dialogue. In some places you could expand a bit, as in the example below, but generally it's a good start.

It took them a couple of minutes to fully circle all the way around.

This would have been the best opportunity to expand a bit more and to add some points, such as the mood of the protagonists or what they are thinking. But it was already a bit theoretical here.
I like how the tone changes slightly here and the strain before an imminent end becomes a representation that way.

They were slowly curving around, looking out for the one place that had seemed like it would make for a safe entrance, which was the back door. There were four doors into the place, including the large bay door at the front, and then three small side doors, well small by alien standards; they were still quite large for a human.

There once was a time, where the wall was a word to be seen quite often. Now it´s the door. :D Only here, but it reads always like a stone in a river, so it´s a bit bumpy.

In general, it's a much more exciting start to the chapter than I thought it would be, especially when you consider what's still to come and how you tried to create an interesting perspective of the storytelling.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

xD doors and walls end up being a bit overused in this book, don't worry, there won't be any doors or walls for a long time when book 2 begins :D



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Tue Dec 07, 2021 5:23 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

Randomtalks here with a short review!

This was a good continuation of the story. I do have some things to say about it though.

The first is the individual tone to the chapter. It took me a while to realize that we had shifted from Daisy's perspective to Aria's. The beginning of the chapter sets the mood and the tone for the rest of the parts, but this one seemed rather objective and stiff. There wasn't that personal touch of Aria's that we always get to hear in her thoughts. As we move on though, her name starts popping up more often and I suddenly remember that we are into a new chapter and Aria is narrating right now. I think this problem reflects a little on how fast and incomplete the ending to the previous chapter felt.

Now, plot-wise, we have progressed quite a bit. You have made a point of reminding us several times throughout this part (especially in the beginning) that they have now reached the most crucial part of their escape. It does increase the excitement level which kind of reaches nowhere because of how effortlessly their distraction worked in the end. Still, I am excited to see what happens now. We are close to the end, so whatever it is, its going to leave quite an impact.

I did have some doubts regarding the ending. Firstly, I do not really see how Ryan and Kate managed to destroy the camera by throwing a stick. You had again made a point of highlighting the fact that they had both chosen the perfect size, but even then and even if they have the perfect aim, I am having a little trouble imagining this whole scene out. Also, why would the alien assume that it was the wind that made the camera malfunction? I mean sure it could have made the stick blow with its force, but it couldn't physically hurt the camera. And as the sole guard of the place, wouldn't it be a more natural reaction to go check it out? What's more puzzling is Aria's confidence in her assumption, because it is a little far-fetched. I guess more will be explained in the next parts?

A few tiny nitpicks,

but the fact that there were the first group of humans to make it this far

The 'there' will be 'they'.

There were four doors into the place,

It will be 'in'.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Umm...well things are pretty much over at this point so there aren't that many twists left honestly. Its just that this is the one area that once they get inside they don't really have a pre made plan for.

As for the camera, well those two do have the best aim, its not easy to do that, but well that's luck in that case, I'll probably have to change that part a little. As for the guard, well that's down to circumstances. As for the guard...well...you'll see in the next part I guess...they kind of kind of count on said guard investigating the disturbance to execute their plan. That assumption there is just what the plan has laid out..and Aria doesn't really have the options available to doubt that. She can just hope for the best. I'll try and introduce a bit more doubt in her thoughts I think in the next draft.



HarryHardy says...


Also prolly something to remember here, these aren't guards who are actually good at their job. The prison ones yes, but the ones here near the outside have dealt with exactly 0 human attacks in 99 years. The ones on the job aren't really expecting anything to happen. After all no one knows that they made it out of the forest either. They're not really expecting any threat whatsover. Most of the ones on the job don't really take it seriously like the ones on the inside would because they simple have no reason to at the moment. This is a big factor in them pulling off this last part in a surprisingly easy fashion. I thought it'd make more sense that way, the guards who are used to escape attempts would seriously derail their plans, but the others would not be as much of a threat.



RandomTalks says...


That makes a lot of sense...Thanks for the explanations! :)



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Mon Dec 06, 2021 4:51 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

We are one more chapter away from the end! I can't believe this! This was an interesting beginning to the chapter. Again we are back to Aria's POV. Seems like they had already planned how to get rid of the cameras. Though I wasn't expecting them to throw a branch, but as they succeeded, it's quite great. It's pretty epic that a branch has succeeded to destroy a CCTV camera. Quite a powerful branch, I would say or let's say, the CCTV cameras were not at all good.

However, before they threw the branches, they were quite skillful at making it to that place. Like I do assume that aliens were constantly seeing the camera recordings(As it was told in the story). So, it's not very easy to do that. Hm... I didn't expect everything to be as planned as it's currently going. Like they planned a lot of things in that small time. Desire can do a lot of things, actually. That was an example.

And now comes the call. Hm... They couldn't after all hear anything or... Was it something with the language? Do the aliens speak some other language? Perhaps, language barrier. However, I do wonder about what the person actually said into the call. If any, any chance, that was not a call from the operator, fron whom the call actually was. I don't know if it's possible or impossible but.. hm.. I highly suspect that that might be a call from inside the camp and if that's actually the case, I have nothing to say. Hopefully, that's not the case. I do hope and think that their journey from this point will be quite smooth.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D




Live your life how you want, but don't confuse drama with happiness.
— Ron, Parks & Rec