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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 21.2

by HarryHardy

“Okay, I think this is some kind of shed,” she began, talking in a low whisper that Daisy had to strain her ears to hear. “Alright, does everyone still have enough energy for us to make it to that warehouse thing?”

There were nods all around, some more confident than others, but nods of agreement nonetheless.

“Okay then,” she continued, “I think I know the way that we need to go on from here, did anyone else manage to recognize where we are?”

Harry nodded a yes, as did Kate. Daisy, on the other hand had no clue where in town they were and it seemed like Ryan didn’t either. She had no idea how Harry and Kate had managed to remember the crude layout presented in that information drive, but considering what they did usually, she wasn't too surprised.

“Okay, that’s great, if by some emergency, we need to split up, and before you guys say it, I know that’s dangerous and shouldn’t be done under all but the worst circumstances but it’s a possibility we need to consider, so be ready to split into groups if you have to. But yes, to get back to what I was saying, having two others who can identify the way is great for us,” said Aria.

There were a few nods all around.

“Okay, let’s get moving again then, we don’t want to stay here for too long, I’m very tempted to steal some of these tools but I don’t think that’s a good idea, we don’t want any guards coming to the town now to investigate a reported robbery. So everyone, let’s keep write on moving, stick to the formation we’ve had so far,” said Aria.

“Let’s hope we can get there without needing to split up, but yeah, I’m ready to do that if we must,” said Kate. On that note, the five of them snuck their way out of the shed as quietly as they’d come and continued their journey across the many houses.

There were several roads here and there, running the length of the town as streets but they had pretty much no cover so they did their best to stay off the roads as much as possible as long as there were houses next to each other.

Daisy still couldn’t really recognize any of the houses from what the drone video in the information file, but she hoped that she would be able to recognize at least something eventually.. Even though the lamps around the house meant that the area was fairly well lit and the darkness wasn’t an issue she was still quite uneasy about having no idea if they were close to their goal or not.

The first row of houses that they had been running through soon came to an end and they were edging close to what looked like a large common area for vehicles. There was a road that headed out back where they’d just come from which Daisy assumed was the one that led all the way to the various gates that took you through the jungle and into the prison. 

There was another road that she recognized as the road that should take them to where they needed to go. Daisy breathed a sigh of relief. Now she finally knew the direction that they were headed in, and it looked like they were quite close to where they needed to be going. The third road that led out from the junction headed in the exact opposite direction. It was the road leading out to the main gate out of this facility, and the gate that would take them to outer wall, a wall that no human currently alive had ever seen with their own eyes. The fourth road led into the town they were currently hiding in.

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585 Reviews

Points: 43913
Reviews: 585

Fri Dec 03, 2021 5:08 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Things definitely made some progress here in terms of both structure and the story, especially with the inclusion of the dialogues. However, I will stick to my description point. I will not elaborate much but it's still required. For example, where you talked about the vehicles, I had a sudden urge to know what vehicles they exactly were. As we have never seen alien vehicles, I was quite excited to know about those.

Though it'a not the most important question, I am a bit curious to know if the aliens stole things. Most probably, they don't do it as I can understand from the story. If that's the case, they will actually need quite some time to understand if the humans indeed steal things. They will be shocked. It would be fun to see. And if the aliens did steal, obviously they will not have the humans in suspect. Hm.. good thing, that is.

Okay, I did get a sense of foreshadowing where Aria told about the splitting up. However, I hope that it doesn't happen that they split up. It will be a difficult situation, both for the characters and the readers. The readers might not get to see a few characters because of the POV. Let's see what happens tho, hopefully not something bad.

Honestly, I didn't have the idea that the transport was located within the city and that the drone has succweded at capturing pretty much the whole city. That's actually quite interesting how the drone has done that without being noticed by the aliens. And at the same time, it's even more interesting how the team is doing that. Okay, so the paths are definitely a bit complicated. I always think that the escape is over but it continues further. Now, if I am not wrong, they need to go to the second road. I am quite excited to go through the third road tho.

Keep Writing!!


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377 Reviews

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Reviews: 377

Thu Dec 02, 2021 1:55 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...

Hey Harry!

Randomtalks here with a short review!

This part picked up from right where we had left off the previous day, and yet at the same time it creates a totally different atmosphere for the reader even though the environment is still the same. I think a lot of that has to do with the inclusion of dialogue in this part. Because we don't know anything about these newly introduced territories, just hearing the characters speak or explain in words brings in a familiarity that instantly eases us back into the flow of the story.

I really enjoyed reading Aria step up again. She is back in leader mode and it has always been a pleasure to see her take charge. I think that Aria and Harry are both like their mother in different traits. Harry shares his mother's unrelenting optimism and sense of adventure, while Aria has her skills in leadership and her quick-thinking. Of course, they might be like their father too, but we have hardly got the opportunity to know him in this book. I do feel like the others could have had some dialogue as well, because they seemed to remain rather numb during Aria's explanations, like an obedient class of children, which they are absolutely not. Especially Harry, whom I had totally expected to crack some lame joke or the other by now, to make everyone smile.

This part also has a better portrayal of the narrator's emotions, which in this case, is Daisy. This time, we actually get to hear her thoughts and feelings, and not just a narration of what is going on. I think the reason the previous part felt a little bleak to me was because it stood as a single part. I have no doubt that if the entire thing was posted as an entire chapter, I would have rather enjoyed reading all the set-up before we focus back on the characters.

Now, I had really thought that they were done with the escape this time. This new introduction of the outer wall refutes that though, and I understand their lack of excitement in the previous part. Opposed to what I had thought, they still have a little ways to go, and I am sure you will whip up some brand new problems for them to go through first.

A tiny nitpick:

let’s keep write on moving,

It will be 'right'.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!

HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!! :D

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1032 Reviews

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Reviews: 1032

Thu Dec 02, 2021 1:26 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...

Hi Harry,

Mailice back with a short review! :D

We see Aria in action again and her drive and leadership talent convince me more and more that she will eventually become a very special woman who will hold a high position.

I like how this part feels like a good continuation from the last part, and you get this feeling that this "minimalist style" I mentioned is like a quick glimpse from a film where you briefly see the protagonists walk on and then briefly the camera comes to a close-up where we can listen a bit to what the characters have to say.

On the other hand, I also notice that we don't get to hear very much from the characters here, except that they are perhaps mentioned by name or just nod briefly in agreement. I find that a bit of a shame, especially when I wonder what's going on in their heads. What are they thinking right now? How do they feel here in this "foreign" world? In general, I thought you portrayed this a little better in the previous chapter.

Here it seemed - especially in this part - as if they had suddenly turned to stone and were just blindly carrying out their orders. I think if you just briefly give a thought process at least for Daisy - since it's her POV - (that doesn't just involve how others can memorise a map and she can't), it would already help a lot to insert an authenticity here. :D

One thing I have to say here, that is actually two times in the part here:

” said Aria.

After all of Aria's explanations, I think it would be fitting if you inserted "explained" here. :D
Have fun writing!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!! :D

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
— Sigmund Freud