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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 20.4

by HarryHardy


Harry didn't really have time to dodge before the creatures hit him square on the chest. One of them glanced off his rifle but the other one knocked the wind right out of his lungs and set him tumbling backwards, dangerously close to the plants invisible roots. He scrambled to regain his footing as he could hear concerned shouts from around him. This was not going well.

Yet another set of creatures jumped towards him and this time, already being off balance, he didn't really stand a chance. He found himself falling to the floor, his gun flying out of his hands as he collapsed on the rough ground.

The creatures leaped onto him and began nipping at him. Instinctively, he did the only thing that he could, backing up as he bent his legs and tried to find some leverage to get off the dangerous floor.

It was too late. There was a suddens snap and he could feel something snaking its way around his body. The plant had got him. There were several screams and Harry turned to see Daisy looking shocked as she stared at him. As he watched, she was also pushed over by the lizard creatures. It was his turn to scream.

The plant had gotten two of them. This was very bad. Harry couldn't help the slight sense of panic that crept up as he felt a root encircle him completely. His hands were already occupied with swatting at the lizard things, trying to stop them from getting a piece of him and he was powerless to try and stop the plant.

"Fall back away from the plant, we need to find a way to shoot the damn roots," shouted Aria from somewhere. At this point, the creatures were a few too many for Harry to be able to actually identify where Aria was. The world around him shrunk to just the creatures attacking him and the plant slowly dragging him to his doom.

He struggled harder, twisting and turning, trying to get the thing to release him. He kicked out, trying to do a flip and possibly snap the roots. Every move he made seemed to get countered by the stupid lizard things that clung to his clothes like their life depended on him. They'd stopped trying to bit him now. He didn't whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Then suddenly the pressure around his waist went slack. He took the moment to lash out in a burst of speed and dived forward, trying to roll but getting knocked totally off balance by the creatures on top of him.

There was a "THWACK" and something went flying.

Suddenly, there was only two creatures on him and he just about shook them off before two beams from a rifle fried them to ash. Harry stood, breathing heavily. In front of him stood Ryan, holding his rifle at the spot where the creatures had been. He nodded to the boy who nodded in return.

Harry immediately turned towards the tree. Aria and Kate were trying to get Daisy. Even as Harry ran towards them, Daisy was cut free. Just then the creatures screeched and started running elsewhere, running in some sort of semi circle skirting around them.

For a moment, Harry was confused. Then he saw the roots. The plant had woken up proper. Its roots getting cut must've set it off.

"We need to follow those things and try to get the heck out of here," said Aria, "this is very, very bad."

No one really had time to respond to that. The ground itself seemed to rise as a mass of roots rose from the soil, knocking Harry and Ryan to the ground. Harry desperately began to inch towards his rifle, managing to just about grab it with the edge of its stock as the plant's roots wrapped around an ankle.

Harry desperately whacked at his with the butt of the weapon, just about managing to get it to loosen as he wrenched his foot free. He staggered to his feet again and offered a hand to Ryan. Ahead of them, the girls were already running, firing blindly into the mass of roots as they followed the lizard creatures.

Harry gestured to Ryan and the two joined the charge as they played a deadly game of catch with hundreds of thick powerful roots. They dodged and swerved, using the rifles as much as possible. Harry already had recharged his one in the fight with the previous creature and now he found the counter reading dipping rapidly to zero. Soon, he'd have to use a second charge.

Suddenly, there was a clicking sound. Kate had run out. Up ahead, Harry could only watch in horror as the roots were suddenly able to wrap around the girls. Harry could see the edge of the plant ahead of them. They just had to make it a few more feet.

The minute distraction was enough for the roots actively attacking him and Ryan. Suddenly Harry found himself hugging the ground for the third time in three minutes and he was being dragged by the plant again. So near to the edge of the plant and yet so far.

Harry turned towards the plant, raising his weapon. He checked the charge. He had one shot left on this one. Next to him, Ryan was rapidly being wrapped even as he fought viscously. He tried to check on the girls and realized he was now wrapped too tightly to be able to reliably turn his head. He had to do something drastic or they were all dead.

He aimed towards the poison filled center of the plant. The poison could kill them if it sprayed too far, but if he did nothing, the plant certainly would kill them. To heck with it. 

Harry squeezed the trigger.


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Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:34 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice back again with another short review! :D

This part was weird. But not because it was somehow strange, but because it reminded me of two scenes from completely different worlds. Firstly from the first Harry Potter book where Harry (oh, same name. :D) and co. fight against this vine plant and secondly from a Resident Evil video game where they fight against zombie plants. :D

I think that also gave me the view that this part was particularly good and also counts as the climax for me, because not only do we see a bit more emotion here, but that the whole build up of the parts work towards this point.

The Part departs from the usual formula we saw in Parts One and Two and gives the reader a good mix of the action between narration and dialogue. I like how the pace has picked up and the characters are all in more of a "panic mode" and are now keeping it short and fighting rather than giving long winded explanations or giving a brief moment of humour.

This part had a terrific beginning and end. It was like a short scene from a movie where the action was heightened for a few seconds. I think you've got the knack of continuing to produce lyrics like that, where at first glance it seems chaotic, but at second glance a structure emerges. Especially when we go towards the end, the part develops into a little highlight of mine. :D

One other point I noticed while reading:

He scrambled to regain his footing as he could hear concerned shouts from around him. This was not going well.

This is actually something I meant in my previous review! You get to see a bit more of a dramatic part here with the second sentence and I can clearly see Harry being a bit anxious about the situation. If that´s the correct word to use. Also later, when Harry wasn´t sure what to do, was a great scene!

Have fun writing!

Mailice




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D



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Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:02 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Wow...this was quite the action filled part here. For the first time, the danger seemed to be very real, and I was seriously wondering how they were going to get out of this one. For some reason this seemed more terrifying to me than when the aliens had been closing in on them. Probably because the idea of giant lizard things combined with a dangerous plant with carnivorous human eating roots is enough of a night mare for any one person. However, I did like the fact that you did not get them out into safety very easily this time. We were actually allowed to take in the danger of the situation and even when they eventually get out of the situation, I know that this sense of seriousness will linger with me for a while, making me extra cautious about whatever is going on.

The idea to follow the lizard things was actually a brilliant show of intelligence. They are forest creatures and they know that ways of the forest. I was a bit curious when they suddenly started running away from them, but when I realized that the plant was on the hunt, I understood what you were trying to show. That entire scene felt very well thought out to me, and as I mentioned, Aria's idea to follow the creatures into safety was extremely clever, especially because they were in no situation to make rational decisions.

Now there is something else I noticed and its their lack of reaction to the pain. Even before I remember that a bullet had grazed Harry while fighting off the aliens, and he had walked unaffected continuing to slay the monsters in the dark. Now, the creatures nip at them, twist themselves around them, and still your focus is on describing what they are doing to them, when it should be on what they are feeling. In fact, they have been running for a really long talking with no food or water, and yet I don't think I have seen them acknowledge any of these sensations ever since the start of the mission. Even if they are on fight or flight mode, these feelings of pain, these urges and sensations are basic and human. You need to address them if you want to make the story more realistic.

Overall, this was a great continuation of the story. It was exciting and thrilling and it kept me at the edge of my seat until the very end. It will be interesting to see what happens next.

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D

I'll be noting all this down rapidly...xD. I'm going to start writing the third and hopefully final draft from Dec 1 onwards, so this is all going to be super useful very soon. :D



RandomTalks says...


You are welcome! :)



HarryHardy says...


:D



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Fri Nov 26, 2021 5:14 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Things are definitely getting worse and worse. Let's get into the review.

I had a mixed feeling about this part, I feel that a lot of things were actually not described in the best way. I do understand that things happened a lot faster than usual but I have the feeling that there were certain aspects which could be worked on.

The creatures are very mysterious, at least to me they seemed to be mysterious. Like I am very intrigued by why they stopped biting him. I do think that the plant roots' movements were the reason behind it. However, I didn't get the confirmation of it, when the animals stopped biting him, they were st least troubling him. They were not really standing looking worried.

Every move he made seemed to get countered by the stupid lizard things that clung to his clothes like their life depended on him.

Here, I was confused with the actual meaning of it. I expected to understand the meaning by the end of this part but seems like the answer is in the negative. Were they kind of using him as a suppprt or something but taking into account their appearance, they don't really need some support... Or do they? Who knows.

Next comes Harry's pains. If the animals were indeed nipping him, he should have felt the pain afterwards. The animals were not really the most innocent animals, they were wild animals, we are quite confirmed on that. So, they should have some loong and sharp teeths. That would definitely cause lots of pains. It's true Harry doesn't really think about himself but I still think between everything, it would not hurt to give one or two lines describing his pains.

Aria is actually a person who has the highest presence of mind of all five and every moment she proves how capable she is of being the leader. Anyway, it was quite intelligent of her to follow the creatures because they would know it much better than them because they are after all the inhabitants if the forest.

Okay, now comes the cliffhanger! It's a universal crime to put a cliffhanger at the end(Actually it is not). I don't know what is going to happen if the poison is exposed and why exactly he targeted the centre. If I am not wrong, then that would actually harm the plant, that's evident. But why the centre of all? Will that kill the plant and make it release them? Probably. I do sometime wonder about something permanent. I mean you see, we always see the characters escaping without having any sort of losses, permanent or long-lasting losses that can affect them later. The readers will actually have the thought that they will at least escape safely.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




HarryHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!




We think in generalities, but we live in details.
— Alfred North Whitehead