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Young Writers Society


12+

Survival: The Escape, Chapter 15.3

by KateHardy


Harry lead the way through the tunnel, he was the one who was good at memorizing patterns like that and it was the safest option. Aria stayed at the back, keeping a sharp out for anything that might be following them.  A few dances later, they were out of the tunnel and heading towards the library.

As they arrived at the spot, Aria could just about make out Kate and Ryan in the perpetual darkness of the corridors.

“You guys ready?” asked Harry, as soon as they came to a stop. Kate gave a quick whispered yes while resorted to a simple nod.

“I know you guys are probably very much shocked,” said Aria," so are we, but we have to get going. I'll show you guys the route on the way out but the long and the short of it is, we have to run to The Hub, to the door where it should hopefully open and then its open jungle and well, I'll explain all of that once we get there. Arguably the most dangerous bit is right now which is getting through the door itself and out of this camp."

Ryan and Kate both nodded. If they wanted to protest at the sudden or vague nature of the plan, neither of them showed it. Kate held up three devices.

"Uncle gave these to me," said Kate, "Apparently it will help keep track of our locations until we get to the door so that they can time everything correctly."

Aria nodded and took one of the offered devices. Daisy and Harry also picked them up and stashed them in various pockets. Aria double checked her own pockets to make sure that the GPS and the map were in fact there. Once those were confirmed everyone looked expectantly to Aria.  She took one final deep breath and nodded in the direction of The Hub. They began their journey.

They passed through The Hub without any issues and made their way towards the hallway that would take them to the door. As soon as they turned, Aria's gut seemed to tell her to go anywhere but in that direction. Her instincts that had been bothering her the entire day, came back in full force except this time it was worse. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was watching.

She called them to a stop and took a careful look around. All she could see were the dull grey walls, nearly invisible in the darkness. She shook her head. What was giving her that horrible feeling of dread? Maybe it was the fact that there were several people nearby to keep watch on their progress. Yes, that must be it. No Aria, don't just assume its the aliens.

Aria called for them to move again and made her way towards the corridor. Just as she set foot in the final corridor, she heard a loud wailing noise. She stood there for a second,  frozen in place. It was a sound that she’d never heard before. It was an eerie echo in the usually silent corridors.

“That’s not part of the plan is it?” asked Daisy, looking more confused than anything else.

“Not that I remember,” said Harry, also shaking his head.

“It might be an alarm of some kind,” said Kate, also shrugging. “I mean I’ve never heard it before, but what else would be blaring out on the PA system at this time of the night.” Aria looked around once again. If there was something going on that Kate couldn't identify, it had to be something new.

A blinding light suddenly lit up the end of the corridor they had just stepped out of. They all exchanged looks.

“Run,” chorused Harry and Ryan. No one needed to be told twice. Aria ran for the sliding doors, everyone hot on her heels. She ran at the glass at full tilt. She braced herself as she ran, hoping to burst through the automatic door should it not open fast enough. She smacked into the cool glass and bounced right off, sending Harry and Daisy right behind her crashing to the ground. Kate and Ryan slid to a stop, inches from them.

“Locked?” asked Ryan, simply.

Aria nodded, icy fear starting to shoot through her veins. It was going down exactly as she had feared. Their luck had run out and they were about to be arrested, or worse killed. Harry and Daisy hauled themselves to their feet, their excitement from earlier giving way to fear.

“We’re going to die aren’t we?” said Kate, also looking rather pale all of a sudden.

“Not so fast,” said Ryan. He somehow still had a confident look about it. "We just have to avoid getting caught. Its the only way.”

“Yes, we can still do this,” said Harry, mustering some courage from somewhere,“we can’t just give up and die.”

“No we’re definitely not doing that, Kate. Trust me,” said Aria, also setting her mind to it. It didn't matter anymore if the plan would work or not. That alarm meant things had passed the point of no return. They were going to get caught either way. Right now the one way to survive was to get out. A new wave of courage overtook her. She turned to the others, getting to her feet.

"We have a chance. Follow me," she said, “Whatever you do, stick together.” With that, she took off towards the source of the light, trusting the others to be right behind here.


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Sat Oct 30, 2021 10:51 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Harry,

Mailice here with another short review! :D

The part has gone from 0 to 100 and we are now already, only at the very beginning, in a kind of fix. Can it end like this for the group? Will we see a chapter 16? :D

What I particularly like is having a second look at Kate here. It must have been a big surprise to them all that the plan has been postponed and now they have to start. I'll keep her brief hint of fear and uncertainty in the back of my mind as we move further into the story.

A big plus that I enjoyed in this part, and not just to provide suspense, was Aria's attempt to take the lead and thus show a strength of hers. I had never noticed that so directly in the previous parts, but that she is more this kind of character who gives good advice but doesn't take action, and that's what I thought was well built up in this part.

You are currently on a very good course with the story. On the one hand, I like the pace we're on now, but also the next stage of development of the characters.

Other points I noticed while reading:

Harry lead the way through the tunnel, he was the one who was good at memorizing patterns like that and it was the safest option.

I think you should split up the sentence, since the second half didn´t give us the “real answer” of the first half.

Kate held up three devices.

I wish there was a bit more explanation how these devices look like.

They began their journey.

To give it more the sound of a start / new beginning, “Their journey began” would sound better and more epic.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!! :D

xD, I did warn everyone to keep their seatbelts on :D





Yeah, but my motorbike has no seatbelts. xD



KateHardy says...


Hahaha...:D



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Fri Oct 29, 2021 4:43 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

I don't know how all these happened. I was seriously clueless in this chapter. Anyway, let's get into the review.

What was actually the device that Kate gave to them? I mean a gps actually helps in keeping a track of the places they are going to. Aria already had one, so why did she take one from the 'offered devices'? I was a but confused there but maybe... Uh... Gps stands for something else. Who knows.

These two, Kate and Ryan appears to be a bit less shocked than them. I don't think we will actually be able to know their feelings but from what I could infer, they do look less worried. However, the way the trio behaved with them... It appears they too are not extraordinarily shocked which they actually were. So, we don't really know.

The plan as described is definitely a bit vague. I can't deny that. I did expect a clearer one but I guess this will do. Plans perhaps can't be very clear when there are so many unknown things and elements. I am again not very sure how Aliens managed to know about this mission or maybe they didn't know about this mission, just simply a few kids wandering around. However, I think they did know about the escape. Somehow they managed to know about it. Did they really observe them talking and stuffs? I wonder about it. If yes, why didn't they attack earlier? If I am not wrong, does this have anything to do with the work? Like maybe the aliens suspected that something was wrong because today's work was much less than the other days' one. I don't think they would really be arrested or killed if they are caught... I have my own extreme thoughts. Let's see what happens. Aria id being a good leader. Andd now we have an emergency or alert situation enforced throughout the camp. I am quite excited to read the next part.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

The device Kate gave her was a simple tracker to help the people hijacking the doors and security cameras to time things correctly. The thing aria has is a different kind of gps made for a totally different purpose..and that purpose will be revealed probably in the last chapter ;)



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Fri Oct 29, 2021 1:17 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Well, that was an interesting turn of events. It seems that Aria's gut instinct was right all along. Of course, I had known that the journey outside would not be exactly free from hurdles, the name of the story is after all "Survival: The Escape" and if they escape so easily what is the rest of the story going to be about? The fact that we want them all to be okay is another thing though. I hope you do not end up doing anything gruesome to them in the end - like, you know killing the main characters off for the sake of the story. That would be very sad and unforgivable.

I am very sure right now that the aliens have come to know what they have been up to. There is no other way to explain the blinding light and the alarm system that even Kate doesn't know about. Things have become just way more complicated for out rescue team, but this is also the first hurdle that they have to overcome as a group. It will be interesting to see how they get out of this one. Until know we have only been give glimpses of their intelligence and certain skills. Now, we will actually get to see them in action and we will know if they chose the right group for this kind of a mission. I have complete faith in them though.

Aria seems to know what she is doing and it is a good thing considering that she is their leader. The rest of them are quick on their feet as well, so maybe everything will be alright. However, I did read the description for the next part and it said, "trouble, trouble and trouble," so I am not going to make any rash conclusions here.

I do think that perhaps you should have included a bit more of Ryan and Kate's reaction to all these new developments. I mean how did they react when they learned they would leave that night? How did their farewells go? Where they anxious, nervous or determined? I just think that it would be good to learn a little more from them since they are the two-third of our group. Otherwise, it feels like there are certain gaps in the story where they should have been.

Overall, this was a good continuation. You have been maintaining the pace quite well, building on the suspense until that final moment where it all either adds up or falls down into little pieces that our survivors have to patch up and make work with.

A few tiny nitpicks:

Aria stayed at the back, keeping a sharp out for anything that might be following them.

I might be wrong, but shouldn't it be 'sharp lookout'?

Kate gave a quick whispered yes while resorted to a simple nod.

You have to mention Ryan by name here otherwise the sentence sounds incomplete. It will be 'while Ryan resorted to a simple nod'.

That's al!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!




KateHardy says...


Thank youu for the review!!

Hmm...yeah I made the decision to avoid using the POV of Ryan and Kate cause they only came into the story at the halfway point so its a bit limited what I can show, but I see what you mean. I'll try to see if I can fit that in somehow. :D



RandomTalks says...


You are welcome! %uD83D%uDE0A

I get what you mean about including their POV this far into the story, but even if you dont do that you can always include more scenes where they have more dialogues or reactions that express their feelings and thoughts.



KateHardy says...


Yup good point :D




The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts.
— Bryant McGill