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Survival: The Escape, Chapter 14.2

by HarryHardy

Harry watched as the sun gradually made its way down. They had just returned from the second and final meal of the day and they were somehow at almost the perfect time to catch the sunset. It was a perfect setting for what the day was to bring. And so begins the best night that I will ever have in this camp, scratch that, second best night. The best night will be the one that we escape on. 

Harry attacked the spaceship with renewed vigor. They were taking care to strip away only the innards and leave the shell mostly intact. They'd decided that having as much of the ship's main hull intact as possible would serve them well when it came to the escape. It'd give them a little more cover should things go wrong. 

It was not long before darkness had properly set in and the stars began to show, indicating that the end of the day's work was rapidly approaching. As the time for them to leave drew closer and closer, the tension in the air seemed to increase. It was as if the Earth itself was reacting to the weight of what was going to happen that night in the next half an hour.

The three of them carried out their now routine fifteen-minute resting period and then set off into the gloom. Harry was fighting hard to contain himself. Once they'd done their part tonight, they could find out tomorrow if the others had been successful. If both plans did succeed, they'd be out of her by the day after tomorrow if not tomorrow.

He hung behind the other two, Aria leading the way with Daisy sandwiched between them. The three of them made their way into the silent Hub, ears and eyes strained for any kind of indication that the other two were there.

Harry scanned the hallways that he knew were the passageways that led to the other two residential areas. There was no sign of any life inside. He looked back to see Aria and Daisy also shaking their heads.

"Do you see anyone?" whispered Harry, leaning in closer to the two of them.

They both shook their heads.

"Maybe they aren't near the entrances," said Daisy, also in a whisper," it would be safer for them that way."

"So should we go check them out then?" asked Harry.

"I think so," said Aria," why don't you two go to the one where Kathryn should be. I'll check out the one that Ryan should be coming through."

The two of them nodded and set off towards the doorway, Daisy holding tightly to Harry's shoulder as the two of them made their way to the unfamiliar passageway which was now even more daunting in the darkness that shrouded the area. Making their way inside it, Harry scanned the length of it, trying to see if he could make out anything in the distance. Is that what I think it is? Harry saw something that looked suspiciously like a length of blond hair peeking out from a niche in the corridor. He tapped Daisy on the shoulder to get her to look in the direction that he was looking in.

"Do you think that's Kathryn there hiding in that nook?" asked Harry.

"Well it definitely is someone with blonde hair," said Daisy," I guess there is only one way to know for sure."

"Yup," said Harry," come on then."

The two of them quickly made their way towards the spot, taking care not to make any noise. It would not be a good idea to give away their position in case it was not Kathryn hiding there.

They came up on the hiding spot to run into a pair of bright green eyes. Harry breathed a sigh of relief. It was definitely Kathryn.

"Hello," said the girl, coming out of her hiding place.

"Hi Kathryn," said Daisy, stepping up from behind Harry.

"Hey...Call me Kate, no one actually ever uses my full name," she said, with a smile before adding, “well besides adults.”

"Okay...Kate," said Harry, slowly, before asking," did you manage to pull off that plumbing situation?" asked Harry.

"Yup. Did my best. Hopefully it all holds up in case things end up going...well you know...wrong."

"I'm sure we'll all be fine," said Harry," come on let’s see if Aria managed to find Ryan."

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936 Reviews

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Sat Oct 30, 2021 8:50 am
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...

Hi Harry,

Mailice back with a short review!

This part generally stands out among all the others, because here the continuation shows itself well and clearly and the dialogues only appear more in the "second" half. You can clearly see an increase in tempo here and despite all the short interludes in the story, which I like very much, I have the impression that the story is developing in a new direction here.

Above all, I'm struck by Harry's thought processes here and I'm always happy to read them to find out what he's thinking at this moment too. I find the anticipation that shows itself here well developed and fitting for his character. Clearly also in his statements between Aria and Daisy I think you create a kind of "pressure balance" between the plot and the characters themselves.

But here I also found that you jump from one thing to the next too much at times. You give some great info, but it seems a bit too scattered here, making the overall storyline feel like a bit of a puzzle. It's only a minor nitpick because it doesn't stand out that much, but the second time through you notice it better.

One other point I noticed while reading:

now routine fifteen-minute resting period

I find the name here a bit too strange. Shouldn't it somehow be called "fifteen-minute-routine"?

Have fun writing!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!! :D

Yeah things did jump around a touch here as we got closer towards the end of the story. :D

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Thu Oct 21, 2021 10:22 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...

Hey Harry!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

Honestly so much has been discussed in the last few parts that I had almost forgotten about this meeting. I remember being impressed by Kathryn's, well Kate's quick thinking in coming up with a plan when the adults couldn't. I guess there is not way to be sure other than simply wait and see if the aliens get suspicious. I am confident it will work out though; as I said, the plan was brilliant.

I really like the slow build up to these parts. It starts out slowly and then you build the tension, keep us in anticipation and finally conclude with some great cliffhanger or the other. Its a well tested pattern and I have to say it does a great job at keeping the readers interested and on their toes at all time.

Now Harry seems to be all ready for this mission. He is the kind of guy who is always prepared though and I think you did a great job in portraying his enthusiasm and excitement. What they are about to do is a pretty important job and it has a lot at stake, possibly the entire humankind's survival. While it will be interesting to see how five teenagers will save mankind, I am also aware of the great pressure that rests on their shoulders. It kind of makes me wonder again why only teenagers and children were selected for the mission. I hope you answer that at some point in the story.

Now, I guess they will just have to wait for Ryan to show up and then they can get started on the meeting. I am pretty excited to see them interact for the first time on their own and not in the formal atmosphere of a meeting or under the observant gaze of the elders. After all, they are 'the team'.

A tiny nitpick for you:

If both plans did succeed, they'd be out of her by the day after tomorrow if not tomorrow.

The 'her' will be 'here'. I guess that was a typo.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

HarryHardy says...

Thank youuu for the review!!! :D

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Thu Oct 21, 2021 7:05 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...

Hey!! Forever here with a review!!

These parts are very peaceful parts. So, they get two meals a day and that also nothing very healthy. I wonder how the health of humanity is in general. Maybe it's not exceedingly bad because people can somehow adjust to situations. And that has been the case for a century so I guess they have managed it.

I wonder if the feelings towards the spaceship have changed from their side. Like once upon a time (I don't know but I do have a feeling that a lot of time has passed), it was a very daunting thing to them. However, I don't think it is anymore. The spaceship proved to be an advantage and a veryy lucky thing in their escape, in fact, it's the thing that made their escape possible. They should be grateful towards it, I guess. Ah, I feel pity for the ship, they are hitting it and breaking it into pieces...

The part where you described Harry couldn't contain himself, yoy could also show how the others characters felt from Harry's POV.

He tapped Daisy on the shoulder to get her to look in the direction that he was looking in.

I guess the lights were turned off and it was dark. So, how could Daisy really look in the direction Harry was looking in. Or it had lights? I am a bit confused here.

Kate is quite a good name and I like the fact how they became very friendly with each other. They seem to be known to each other for quite some time but in reality they aren't. Just one day. Okay now Aria. I hope she has found Ryan in a safe manner. Ryan is probably noticeable to hide somewhere. I don't know I get some suspense here. That was a good place to end this part.

Keep Writing!!


HarryHardy says...

Thank youu for the review!!

There is more that ship that meets the you will find out at the end of this chapter ;)

Oh well it has no lights, but its not completely pitch black if you get what I mean, its not impossible to see, just very hard. Now that Daisy and the others have spent so many nights walking in the dark they're betting and seeing through it :D

Thanks again!! :D

Oh got it. Hm... The moon, perhaps or maybe the stars or maybe the lights from somewhere else. :D

HarryHardy says...

Mostly the moon :D Remember the passageway that goes out to the actual door is made of glass :D

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
— Oscar Wilde