The Pants on the Floor

Reading "The Pants on the Floor" sadly makes one think filthier thoughts... But, in stead of a slightly - ehem - dirtier poem, this one is by far better than what I was expecting. It's actually pretty cute. My curious mind, though, continues one. Why are the pants there? Where'd he husband go? Why would he leave a bunch of random pants lying around?

I'm being ridiculous. Don't mind those questions.

Anyways, it's cute, simple, and to-the-point. Kudos!

Oh my gosh this was adorable. Bizarre comment I know but it's something so trival and relatable I had to say it. I loved the rhyming too. I have not seen rhryming in so long. The words you chosen were very smart and you did a good job. It's all this hard core emotional and deep poems which are great but it's poems like these that make you think about the little things in life.

Hi, there! Margo Seuss here. I commend your use of humour and rhyme in this piece. 'Storage, forage' Good one! I think we have a similar style of poetry. If you ever get a chance, check out some of my poetry. I would recommend, My Feet Stink, Tittie Traitor, and The Demon of Sludge. I found your use of punctuation and bold/capitalization effective and fun. My only real suggestion for you would be to adjust the flow in these lines:

The last castaway was the oddest one yet —
Color, newness and size requirements, it met.

Excellent! I can honestly say that writing a humorous poem about pants has never crossed my mind. So points for originality and humor.

Criticisms:

"Not one, or two, or three — no! — FOUR pants on the floor!"

This line was a bit rough. The whole poem has a good rhythm, like you could have a beat in the backround and it would match the words. Also like a rap. This line, though, didn't have that.You could either take out the "or"s and put in an extra "four" so it reads; "Not one, two three - no! - four, FOUR pairs on the floor!" I changed it from pants to pairs, just makes a bit more sense.

In future poems, you may want to put a line between the rhymes, meaning the line that contains "task" and the line that contains "ask" shouldn't be right next to each other. separate them with a line so the rhyming sounds best. A common trend in poems is to make a stanza four lines and make the First and Third line rhyme with each other, and make the Second and Fourth rhyme with each other. I know you probably wouldn't want to do that to this poem, since you would essentially have to re-do the entire poem, so what i am saying is to do that in future poems you make.

Hahahahaha this is a quite the funny story. I love how the rhyming scheme that travels along with it just makes it all the more memorable. I just have one question...what does quandary mean? Apart from that it was very good