Spooksville Summary Number Two!

"This town... Its more than creepy. Stranger things have happened here. More Evil things."

Shane tip-toed down the hallways of the school. Trying to hide from the angry bloodthirsty monster that was stalking him. He froze when he heard someone singing eerily. "La la la la la laaaaaaa. I am gonna get you!" He backed against the locker and whimpered as he saw a red cloaked figure at the end of the hallway. "Stay away from me! I know what you are!" I'm pretty sure you're supposed to start as a new paragraph for every quote.

The figure chuckled gleefully. "Shane! I am surprised at you. There's no need to be afraid of little old Red Riding Hood." Her eyes glowed and her claws bared as she rushed at him.

"We've done our best to keep it safer here, but it's been getting worse."

Tekky and Klyde ran down the hallway, trying every single door. "There's got to be an open door somewhere." Klyde said as he slammed his fists on the door.

Tekky turned and screamed. "Hurry!" Tekky screamed at Klyde.
I just thought it would be better to add the part after the quote

They could hear the dragon breathing as he thudded down the hallway. "Your fursry pelts are mine, rodents!"

Klyde turned, "Too late! We need to run."

They turned to run, when suddenly,but Tekky tripped andresulting in the dragon's tail came shooting toward them. It wrapped itself around his leg and suddenly Tekky was flying toward the dragon.Tekky's leg and pulled him back.

"TEKKY!"



"Something is coming. Something that we've kept hidden in the shadows."

The door thudded as whatever was behind it tried to escape it.

James stared at the door, knowing exactly what waited behind the door. After all, it was his job to watch the door...

Another thud came from the other side of the door.

James put his face to his hands. He hated this job, because he knew he would have to be there if the door ever opened... He knew what he would have to face.

Suddenly he heard a crackle and hHis head jumped up at the sound of something cracking. There was a crack in the door. THERE WAS A CRACK. IN. THE. DOOR.
I understand that you were trying to emphasize this, but I don't think it was really necessary.


"No one is safe..."

The group was silent as several of the stronger members carried the coffin down to the grave. There were people standing around the graveit as they started to bury the coffin in the dirtit. I think you should not write out "the coffin" every time and replace it with words like "it". That also goes for other parts of your story. Suddenly, Tekky couldn't hold inback his tears anymore and knelt down crying. I've noticed that you use the word "suddenly" a lot. I think you should limit it a little more. "It should've been me..." Someone tried to comfort him, but he hit the person and screamed. "IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME!" He slammed his fists on the ground. Again, just reminding you to make the quotes a separate paragraph.

Shane looked up at Detective Grim. "But you guys are monsters. You guys are literally at the top of the food chain!"

Grim folded his bony hands. "There are worse things then vampires."

Shane shivered a little. "What are monsters afraid of?"



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Wilson stood ready with the rest of the town as the cracks on the door splintered even more.increased.

The door bustedfinally broke down and black shadowy figures spilled out of the doorit with unearthly shrieks.

Wilson brought up his flashlight, more afraid than he looked. "THEY'RE COMING!"