Young Writers Society

A friend of your's asked me to stop by this poem, and I'm glad I did! Excellent usage of sound devices here GreyMatter - and it doesn't make the piece sound forced, but has a nice rhythm. I liked how you bookended the poem by starting ending with the struggle of light/dark -> which has a lot of rich metaphorical interpretations from literal night/day, death/life, enlightenment, depression, glory etc. Nicely written!

Hi, I’m Ashkitten and I’m here for a review. I must say, this was very well written. I feel like there is double meaning here. The fight for the dawn of light in life, when there seems to be not even a glimmer of hope. And a second meaning that our fears seem to take hold at night and grip us tightly, it is usually the time when we are alone and left with all the thoughts inside our own head. I loved both meanings, very relatable!

My favorite part is “In that immortal moment rise, rise above the highest skies” And at night if we were able to rise above the night sky, we would find ourselves closer to the sun...I just found that so compelling and intriguing with both interpretations. Seeing the light beyond the darkness of a situation, and the moment you do, that moment becomes immortalized to you because you will always remember the moment you rose up, and changed your perspective.


The only thing...well the force of chilly thunder, that line threw me off because it changed the theme from night, to storm, and it is a strong line, and I do love it but I feel like it may not belong in this particular poem. That is my opinion though, The word wonder also rhymes and wouldn’t change the underlying theme. It just confused me a bit. Anyways, Keep up the Amazing work!

Hello,

This was an amazing poem. I loved the rhymes and formating you used. This also poem used awesome imagery. In addition I like the italics it adds a nice touch to the poem. Lastly I find the line "Fight, fight for the dawn of light." To be an excelent line that connects the title with the rest of the poem.

I hope you continue writing poems as you are amazing at it. I am also exicted to see the next poem you come up with in the future.

This was an amazing poem. I loved the rhymes and formating you used. This also poem used awesome imagery. In addition I like the italics it adds a nice touch to the poem. Lastly I find the line "Fight, fight for the dawn of light." To be an excelent line that connects the title with the rest of the poem.

I hope you continue writing poems as you are amazing at it.

Okay, first of all, I love this poem! You have really good rhyming skills! I also love the formatting you used. The italics look really nice and clean. And also, slightly off subject, but you have to tell me how you were able to space out your stanzas. The website won't let me and I have to use dashes to separate them. But anyways, I think my only qualm is that on the third stanza, the second line doesn't match rhythmically. I would replace high with highest to match the rhythm. Other than that, I might give it punctuation, but it's not that needed for this. This was a lovely poem!

Hello,

I read that this was written before an exam and didn't expect it to be written like this, lol. It's really well-written! I like all the metaphors and imagery... and the rhymes make each line flow really smoothly together. I especially like the repeated line "Fight, fight for the dawn of light" to add effect. Seeing the description of this poem, it could mean "fight through your late-night studying until dawn arrives!" This is super relatable... I really like how you could take on such a theme and write a deep and dramatic poem with this language! Well done!

I don't really have much else to point out other than what was already said by earlier reviews, so really great job!

Keep Writing

Hey! I am Bell, I am gonna try and review this for you!

First off, I wanna say that I love the fact that you italicized your poem. I thought that it was easier to read, and understand. It really caught my attention.

I love how it does convey the fact that you are dreading your upcoming exam, and that you had to do it anyways. Lol.

Your use of imagery was amazing, and made this something that I can relate to, and understand. It sent an image of a person sitting at a desk, like sleep, with their face in a book, or a person writing and wadding up papers and tossing them in the trash.

As 269 said, I do think that you could have added a few commas and some punctuation, just so that it will add to the flow.


But overall,

I loved this. it was amazing, and sooo relatable. lol.
keep writing,
~Bell

I loved your poem and I feel it does convey the emotion of dread very properly as a whole. All of the words seem to be being used properly in this poem, and though poems do not have to rhyme these lines rhyme perfectly. There is repetition, but may I assume that it is intended for effect? This is your first poem on the site and it is nearly perfect. The only "problem" I saw could have been of choice, I feel that the poem would flow better being read with commas at the end of the lines. As a pause, as a breath to help the flow in the readers mind. The poem with commas is shown within the spoiler:

Hello reader!
I am looking for constructive criticism. I would also like to know if I could convey my thoughts to you. How do you feel about 'Dawn of Light' - the expression. I've heard Light of Dawn, Dawn of an era, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes but not 'Dawn of Light'. In this poem, I mean by it, the arrival of light. Light is a metaphor for hopeful and better days much like 'the night without stars' is for the hopeless phase in life.
For some time now, I have been reading about stoicism and I have discovered it suits my way of life. Most of my poems have been stoic poems. While this is not strictly stoic, it does have some elements of stoicism. Do let me know your thoughts on this too, kind reader.