Dear Jake,
I can honestly stand up for myself and say I am glad that I left you behind. I grew tired of your childish behavior, the floating between girls because 'it was alright because it is a guy thing to do'. What would have happened if I had guy-hopped, cheating on any and every guy that I saw?
Everyone had told us that we were so cute together and we'd make it far. That was before they all knew what was happening behind closed doors. I can't believe I trusted in you and that I let myself fall for your stupid games. I wish I had stopped being so naive so I could have seen the truth as it started to unfold in front of me.
We did have our good times, I suppose. I loved when we first started dating. I felt like I was the only girl in the world. We made that last for two years and we were planning on getting married before everything went downhill. Right before we got engaged we found out that we were expecting our child, our sweet little boy Micah. I guess that didn’t stop you from continuing on your path.
Why had I been so ignorant to ignore the signs of your cheating? The smells and the stains on your clothing were so clear. Perhaps I didn't want to face the truth, just wanting to live in a world I thought was perfect.
If the smells and stains on your clothes had not been a strong sign, I would not have thought that you were cheating. Until the day that I found you in our bed with another woman. I had felt so heartbroken and so angry that you would have done that. You didn’t learn from that experience either did you because you did it again.
Then we learned we have been expecting a child and I couldn't ignore it all anymore. I couldn't bring a little boy or girl into a life like that, where there the Dad cheated on the Mom. Micah knows that we don’t get along but he doesn’t understand yet.
Thanks to your choices your son won't know you like he would. He will learn who you are from the words of others, especially my mother. I hope you were happy as a fuckboy because I learned my lesson.
This is my final statement to you unless it is regarding our child. I hope you enjoy life as a father who can't even see Micah. I hope you are happy with your choices Jake because you destroyed our lives completely.
Your Ex, Poppy
Author's Note: So this is a edit of my short story "To my Ex". I decided to make the events in it to create a new story so this is just kinda a new beginning. If you think that it isn't a good fit to start out a book just let me know!
~Tulip~
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141,721 Literary Works • 675,616 Reviews
Hello! I'm coming from reading the first chapter, as I didn't know there was a prologue. I feel like this give a bit too much away to be a prologue. We know what's going to happen, what's the point in reading the story now? Unless you have a big twist planned or something extra special, I've gotten the entire story. Why do I need the book now? It's pretty well written, a little bumpy in the last few paragraphs, but beyond that I like the style. I feel this letter doesn't belong in the book at all. In the beginning or middle it would spoil the story and at the end it's a pointless recap. I don't know if you're willing to leave it out, but personally, I would. I feel it would make your story all the better for it. Good job!
Yo, first of all, your av!! Awesome, dude. Like it.
And, about the story, hmm..it is indeed a good starting. But, it kind of felt like "obvious" to me. Like, I already know what is gonna happen to the story. I am saying this based on my idea that a prologue is supposed to create a "curiosity in the readers to read the whole novel". This seemed to me more like a short story than a prologue, cus, it looks complete. At least to me.
I am NOT saying that this is not good. In fact, it's really good. I really really enjoyed reading it. As a short story, I liked it. I liked it as a novel,too. But, just like I said, it kind of said all he things of the novel. Keeping only a bit behind the curtains.
This is just my opinion, I am not discouraging you or something. Don't get hurt, pls...i really appreciate your hard work. I do. I just wanted you to know what I thought of.
Now, to the prologue- well, some editing that I came up with.
Here, I felt an urge of having a "now".
I would like a "But" at the beginning of this line.
And-
I just had a feeling that this two parts contradict each other.
It should be like-
I just couldn't understand this line. :/
Father is a general sense, so I think you should use here "son" or "kid" instead of Micah.
That's all from me. In spite of the negative comments, I want you to complete the novel. TRULY. Complete it. And, tag me when you complete it, kay?
I hope I could help you.
I think that this is a very good start.I saw that you had edited it to look even more finished and well thought of.Good job,I could say personally.I still think it needs some work of the area in which we need to talk about.This could be a very good start but you still need to think of it.Your editing is okay and if you want to start a book you have to think of everything you want to show us in this book.It starts well but I have to see how it continues.I think of this letter being sent and the story going on with the ex's respond and the life of Poppy.
I think that I have it highlight some of their lives before it dives into Poppy's life after this letter. It can show the downward spiral of their lives as he continues the cheating.
And you can always message me with any advice or if you have questions!
~Tulip~
Good luck.