Look at those feet, they're too big.
Look at those legs, too full of mosquito bites, too ugly.
Look at those knees, to knobbly, those thighs, too large.
Look at those breasts, too tiny, those hands, too wrinkley.
Look at that face, too oily. Those cheeks, too sunken.
Look at those lips, too dry. That nose, too flat.
Look at those eyes, too blank. That hair, too lifeless.
Look at your height, you're too small. Your smile too toothy.
Slowly, I began to accept myself. Quietly, I whispered,
I am pretty. I am beautiful.
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139,409 Literary Works • 672,558 Reviews
I will most definitely be reading more of your work, because I can relate so well to this that it scares me. I can't even wrap my mind around this piece right now because this also could relate to almost everyone dealing with the issue of hating themselves. I have so much more to say, but this piece has completely baffled me. I am at a loss for words, and let me tell you that this rarely happens. Keep on writing, because you are truly good at this.
Wow, thank you so much! You have no idea how much this made my day!
You are beyond welcome... Have a great week.
Hi there GrapeNerd, Roxy here!
Im glad that you decided to put this in the poetry section by the way, it makes a nice short poem!
However, I do think that you should fix the spacing between the line, theres too much space between them all making them look like a series of sentences rather than a poem!
I think that this is a very honest and relatable peice! So this is just a suggestion, why not after
"Slowly, I began to accept myself. Quietly, I whispered,
I am pretty. I am beautiful."
(my favorite two lines by the way!) add in what makes you pretty and beautiful, ie what you like about yourself, it could just give another dimension to the poem, but as I said, its just a suggestion!
Lovely piece,
Keep the good work up!
This is a wonderful poem. I think that it really connects with most girls. Honestly I don't think that I have any corrections. The poem flowed well, and was enjoyable to read. I also really enjoyed how it had ended with " I am pretty.I am beautiful" I really did love it, the poem was beautiful. Great poem and Keep Writing.
This piece resonated such strong feelings within me, and it takes a skilled poet to be able evoke such emotion from the reader. The criticisms you described are such a raw, real interpretation of how many people view themselves. The last line describes your triumph over such a sad, critical state of mind.
I agree that the last line would be better without the quotation marks, and could help to emphasize the quote.
This is such a beautiful poem, and I applaud your writing talent.
~Snow
I agree, this is more of a shot poem. Its very good. I enjoyed reading, it's really showing the point of what teens think about themselves.
I just think, maybe you shouldn't put in the quotation marks, they're not really needed.
That's the only thing I really saw. But other then that is was great. I'm getting the vibe that this poem is about someone beginning to be happy with themselves.
Keep writing, it's really good!
~Winter
I think the structure of this piece more of a poem than a short story as you described it. I really like the overall message, and you give some great examples of dialogue. With that being said if you would like to use this as a poem I would suggest getting rid of the "just look at" and "look at" at the beginning of each line, because they aren't really necessary to get your point across. Maybe the initial use of it would be effective but otherwise it is just too repetitive.
Also, I don't think the quotation marks are necessary either, because the end of your poem shows a shift in voice that would be clear enough without them. In the last couple lines where the switch occurs here:
Slowly, I began to embrace myself. Quietly, I whispered,
"I am pretty. I am beautiful."
This shows a change in tone of the poem towards a more positive view of yourself, although no reason for this change is given. Maybe you could include some qualities in yourself that you do enjoy, or the great things about yourself that help combat all those bad listed above. If this is a poem about embracing yourself after much criticism then try to bring that out a little more--otherwise it just seems to be a poem about insecurity which in my mind (maybe I'm just too uber positive all the time) I got the sense that the poem was suppose to be about embracing yourself despite what anyone else says.
Great start!