Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
marshall greenridge
“You really ought to take off your hat, Marshall.”
If anything, Marshall tugged the flaps down even more securely. Rose always suggested that. To take his hat off, stand up straight, get a haircut, shave, quit smoking, sober up, smile more, wear nicer clothes- actually, there wasn’t really anything about him that she didn’t suggest he change. As if she was his mother and he was half the age he really was.
“Where’s Julian?” he asked instead of replying.
Julian was often late, but not this late. Rose sighed.
“If he’s not here in five minutes, we’ll have to continue without him,” she said, then added as an afterthought: “Thank God we didn’t put him in the performance.”
Marshall glanced at his watch. Geez. Why had they agreed to this, again? The government hadn’t ordered them to, it didn’t pay, it didn’t really benefit anyone (including them!).
So they were doing it just to please fans.
Marshall still didn’t get it. How weren’t more of these people angry? Why weren’t more of these people trying to change the way things worked?
He sighed.
“Let’s go,” Rose was saying, tapping his arm.
So their time had run out. They all - well, not all. Only Rose, Effie, and Marshall himself would be performing tonight. The others would join for the panel afterwards.
The three performers entered under the stage and stood beneath their designated trap door. This would be very theatrical. Very extra. Very unnecessary and the exact kind of thing that Marshall hated most. Why did they choose him over Julian to be in the performance? He excelled at this kind of ridiculousness.
Through the stage, he could hear the announcer. Who was announcing? Some obsessed young person, no doubt.
And now, ladies and gentlemen. The moment you’ve all been waiting for…
Marshall closed his eyes and sighed again. Hopefully this would be over quickly.
The reason you’ve all come out so far. For the first time ever, a live audience performance of real magic by the Mages. You know their names, you know their faces, but do you know their talent?Ladies and gentlemen, let’s make some noise for Rose Hitchcock!
She climbed up through her trapdoor. Marshall was glad he’d worn a hat with ear flaps. They acted as sort of partial covers for the deafening cheers of the crowd.
Effie McCarty!
She disappeared as well. The crowd was louder this time. They liked Effie more.
And Marshall Greenridge!
Marshall quickly boosted himself through the suddenly opened trapdoor, into a puff of green smoke. The ear flaps didn’t protect him this time. Nor did the several inches of wooden stage he’d had a moment ago. He winced at the volume.
Immediately obvious were the various stages of obsession in the crowd.
Those is the back were normal people. They bought their tickets ahead of time and came to have a good time, see some magic, make some memories.
As Marshall scanned closer and closer to the stage, his heart sank. For some reason, he always hoped these kinds of people wouldn’t show up. They always did. From the first row to around the sixth was a blob of maniacal uniformity: young women -barely more than girls, really- wearing gray beanies, puffy winter jackets, and waving various streamers and light up festival doodads.
“Take it away, Mages!”
Marshall didn’t really tell his body to move. Rather, the last week that they’d spent practicing Rose’s stupid choreography was paying off.
He did the steps. He did the spells. He moved his arms and rolled across the stage.
Colored sparks, light constructs, props and blocks made of magic. It was all easy stuff. The things Marshall had first learned to master after his father died. He knew Rose wanted him to smile during the performance. He didn’t.
The spells, but more so the dancing, left Marshall breathing fast and hard. He thought his head might implode from the amount of noise coming from the crowd. He blinked away the sweat dripping down from his forehead.
In the blinding confusion of the next few minutes, Marshall felt himself slipping.
He needed a lifeline. Something to focus on, to bring him back to reality.
In the past, that had been Sybil. Whenever he felt overwhelmed, he felt her out in the crowds (or in the emptiness) and latched on, and it calmed him down. Now he had no one to connect to. But he found himself reaching out anyway.
One presence stood out.
Marshall’s eyes scanned the crowd quickly. Who was that? He could sense immense energy, but from what?
There.
There? The woman’s eyes -although he couldn’t actually see them very well from this distance- were fixated on him. He met her intense gaze from thirty meters away. Was this woman the source of so much energy and power? Marshall’s gut told him yes, but his logical brain wanted any other explanation.
He’d only felt that kind of energy during huge projects between all six Mages.
It was magic.
Intense, controlled, highly capable and powerful magic.
But there were no other mages! Right? The government was nothing if not thorough. Nothing if not strict. Rules about magic born were the strictest in the country. Marshall had to remember this woman.
She had brown hair, lighter skin, and wore a sheepskin jacket. He couldn’t make out details from here.
The woman broke eye contact first. Someone ushered Marshall behind a table.
The other Mages joined them onstage, including Julian, who sat next to Marshall.
“Where have you been?” he asked quietly. Julian smiled, but it looked forced.
“Um… I had to take care of something. Sorry.”
Marshall shrugged to himself. Julian often forgot times and places. He might be acting strange, but then, when wasn’t he acting strange?
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer shouted into his microphone, “Please, if you have any questions, raise your hand, and you will be randomly selected to ask. Let the panel begin!” He turned to the Mages. “Mages, we all know your names, but why don’t you introduce yourselves just once more for everyone?”
They went down the table, said their names, and fell silent once again. Marshall scanned the crowd again and again. Where had that strange woman gone?
Minutes passed.
People from the crowd were chosen to ask questions, which the Mages answered to the best of their abilities. It became more and more obvious that something was bothering Julian. He was sweaty, talking very little -a sure sign of wrong!- and kept fiddling with his clothes and jewelry.
“Marshall.” Marshall snapped his head around. A beanie woman in the crowd had stepped up on a stool and held a microphone. She grinned, pulled off her hat, and raised it into the air. “Show us your hair.”
An absurdly loud roar came up from the crowd.
All the women wearing hats ripped theirs off, tossed them around, caught them again, jumped up and down.
Marshall sighed. Why did it matter so much to everyone that they know what his hair look like? Every time he went out to shop, to get a drink, anywhere without a disguise, people followed him around trying to convince him to take his hat off. He had a feeling that if they could, they’d steal it themselves. Of course they couldn’t. Wards and all that.
He leaned forward towards his microphone.
The crowd fell silent.
Marshall could feel everyone holding their breath. Why did they think the answer would be any different this time?
“No.”
The crowd groaned in disappointment.
“But why?” the question asker demanded. Marshall rolled his eyes.
“Next question,” he said to the announcer.
“Marshall, just take off the hat,” Rose muttered out the side of her mouth. Marshall ignored her and held onto both flaps, suddenly concerned she might try to take it. The beanie woman stepped off her box. Marshall searched the crowd from his seat, still wanting to find that strange woman again.
Hopefully he could.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
HELLO YOU AMAZING PERSON, I'M BACK FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER.
Haha, this made me laugh a little xD
Aww. I think the person really cares about Marshall, but it suppose it can be a bit annoying if everything you do is criticized <3
Hm so I guess Marshall doesn't really care much for his fans if their pleasure doesn't make him happy. I like this little bit, as it gives us a bit of insight into Marshall c:
Rip Rose cx It seems there are others besides Marshall that don't really like Rose
I believe you meant "Those in the back" c: But haha, I love how the back row people are "normal people" xD
Omg what happened to Sybil 0.0 poor marshal </3
IS IT OUR GIRL SLOANE
YES YES YES SLOANE IS AWESOME c: Ooh so is this why the mages were looking for her :O
Ooh I feel like this good be a cool spot for the reader to learn more information about the mages. Maybe just a couple could give a vital piece of information about themselves?
Ooh I would love to hear some of the questions! That way I can learn more about the mages, what exactly they do, and who exactly they are! Also, I like how you point out things that Julian does that makes him seem nervous - like fiddling with his stuff. instead of saying "a sure sign of wrong" and "It became more and more obvious that something was bothering Julian." I would take out these parts and give more actions to Julian. Like you said, he's fiddling with his clothes and isn't talking a lot. So the reader already knows that something is wrong, and you don't have to necessarily say it c:
Omg I love Marshall xD I am also very curious; what's under the hat :O maybe he has no hair? whatever it is, I love how you included this part for an element of suspense! or maybe there is nothing out of the ordinary, and Marshall does this to mess with people cx
I think this has to be my favourite chapter so far! I loved getting to read from one of the Mage's point of view. You've also characterized Marshall super well. I love his briskness and his stubbornness.
Okay so I'm assuming the person he saw in the crowd was Sloane! c: She did come to the festival and has magic. OOh. I love how we got the first interaction between the mages and Sloane, even if they both don't know it yet xD and I loved the note you ended this chapter on; it definitely makes me want to read the next to find out what happens!
Overall, this was another lovely chapter, and I look forward to the rest. I hope this helped! ^_^
Thank you! To be honest, I'm not sure why he always wears a hat. This story is based on a dream I had, and in the dream he
1. hated people to see his hair
2. was afraid of birds
so I thought I would keep it just because why not? Hehe
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm back for another chapter, well this is starting to get interesting now isn't it?
First Impression: Well...this was an interesting chapter to say the least...I think there's a lot more going on with this world than meets the eye and I am loving it so far. The character of Marshall seems quite interesting and it looks like he has discovered our other character as well.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well...that does sound fairly inconvenient not going to lie but I suppose its good that someone is looking after him.
Now that certainly doesn't sound like it means good things have happened to him.
Well that is quite a stroke of luck now, isn't it?
Hmm...well now that makes this complicated, it appears they are maybe not as selfish as they might be made out to be...ahhh...this is getting complex now, I suppose we'll see soon enough where this is headed.
Hmm...well those are good questions and I really hope they have answers because those are the type of questions you really need to have answers to.
Not quite sure if we know what a panel is at the moment but uhh...going to roll with it for the moment.
Hmm...well isn't that a very interesting paragraph...interesting to see how his perspective on these things are.
Well he does seem to genuinely not like this so it seems like his thoughts are fairly legitimate for the moment at least.
That certainly sounds like an announcer, great job with that dialogue.
Hmm...don't they have a spell to make sure the volume isn't going to be an issue.
That seems like the general composition of such crowds...
This paragraph is amazing for some reason I cannot quite explain.
Well he is certainly acting rather grumpy.
Oh dear, now its starting to sound like its a serious problem...that's an interesting twist.
Hmm...I sense some history in there.
Oooh, is that the person we met earlier in the other chapter?
I love the way he is explaining his thoughts there. Makes it feel pretty realistic.
Well I suppose there is a first time for everything now, isn't there?
Well his problems vanished the moment he discovered that now didn't they?
That does seem a little extra strange however.
Okay...that seems like a silly thing to do.
Hmm...something is definitely wrong there.
Well now that was a question that I was certainly not expecting but I suppose it does make sense especially once you read the paragraph afterwards...although I have to say, without the explanation later, this comes a bit out of left field.
Well...humans do have this annoying thing called hope.
Oooh...well that was a bit of sass there now wasn't it?
Well that's a lovely note to end the chapter on there.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall I think this was a very interesting chapter. I loved it for the most part, and I think this is shaping up to be a fairly intriguing story too. I think I saw another chapter up as well and I think I just might review that at some point too.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hi thanks so much! Yeah... Like I mentioned, this story is based on a dream, and for some reason in the dream he hated for people to see his hair, so I thought it would be a thing that bothers the Mages fans. Like, every fandom has THINGS, right? I dunno... Thank you!!!
hey there, this i a nice piece of work and i wanna see more,
Oh thanks. It's the third chapter (or the second chapter if you count the first as a prologue?) of my story.