Serenity is found in crashing waves
when the white foam laughs with each slush,
but is adamant in touching the inner shore.
The sand calls out for some cooling
and is ignored under the blaze,
feeling worthless by the minute;
tossed aside like gravel.
Still it delighted in praise of its finery,
refulgent in its nature.
But what would those sand-stained feet,
the ones it crawled through between the toes,
know of its days and nights alone?
Or its longing to find a droplet to love
from the shimmering arrogance of ocean blue;
never to be found.
***
I am bad at poems. Straight-forwardly, I admit it. This was a spur of the moment, and hopefully not as bad as I think. Honest crits are welcome, but I hope you won't be too harsh? Thanks for reading.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,312 Literary Works • 674,342 Reviews
I really like it! You described the ocean perfectly, in my eyes. I especially liked the line "Serenity is found in crashing waves." Beautiful. It's great as an opening line.
I also liked the personification: the sand "calls out," "feels worthless," and "delights," and the white foam laughs. It gives a powerful perspective on everything.
Plus, I like that it made me think. It made me consider "its days and nights alone," and stuff like that.
All in all, I really enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing!